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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To just start trying

42 replies

DeeDee40 · 21/07/2015 21:41

Hello I'm getting married in eight weeks and I want a child ASAP. I've been on the pill for ten years and last time I had a break didn't have a period for six weeks. I feel like coming off the pill now and trying. Is that stupid? Obvs if I don't get pregnant I might have a period on wedding day which I don't want but if I come off the pill now I'm getting a head start!

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 21/07/2015 21:41

What does your partner think?

EatShitDerek · 21/07/2015 21:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MagpieCursedTea · 21/07/2015 21:43

It all depends on what matters to you and your future DH more, not having a period on your wedding day or getting a few weeks head start on TTC. Neither is unreasonable, it's just priorities.

lunar1 · 21/07/2015 21:43

By 5 weeks pregnant I was in hospital with HG, not common but a possibility to consider!

Original poster
DeeDee40 · 21/07/2015 21:44

He agrees as he's eight years older so wants a child ASAP he's only 37! I might not even get pregnant before wedding but I'm getting to the stage where I don't want to wait! My friend suggested coming off the pill and trying then take a test just before wedding and if I'm not go back on pill to stop period coming!

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Silvercatowner · 21/07/2015 21:44

If you come of the pill right now there is a risk you will be in early pregnancy when you get married - this may not be ideal, weddings and morning sickness are not a good combo.

Original poster
DeeDee40 · 21/07/2015 21:44

Lunar I agree what if I feel and look like shit on wedding day? What if there are complications when were on honeymoon?

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Original poster
DeeDee40 · 21/07/2015 21:45

We have discussed coming off the pill maybe a month before wedding so if I was I'd only be a couple of weeks although it would be unlikely I'd fall so fast. At least that way the chance of me having a period is slim

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yorkshapudding · 21/07/2015 21:45

I thought it would take me ages to get preg as i'd been on the pill for donkeys years. Only took a month. I also had terrible sickness early on in my pregnancy so personally I wouldn't risk it but you might be lucky.

SaucyJack · 21/07/2015 21:46

I'd leave it until after the wedding if I were you just in case.

Drink and be merry and enjoy yourself on your special day, then worry about trying to conceive. It can wait 8 weeks.

TravellingToad · 21/07/2015 21:47

the only point i'd make is morning sickness...which isn't just in the morning it's all bloody day

No way would i want to get married in the first trimester. but up to you.2 months in the grand scheme of your whole entire life is not a long time to wait

In the future you'll have a 30 year old, not a 30yr2m old...

Original poster
DeeDee40 · 21/07/2015 21:47

Or maybe come off pill and have a period the week before the wedding then I'm not pregnant or periody ???

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Original poster
DeeDee40 · 21/07/2015 21:47

God I'm an impatient sod sorry guys!

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Littlemissjt · 21/07/2015 21:48

It can also be common to put on lots of weight when you come off pill, your dress might feel too tight/not zip up. 8 weeks really isn't that long a wait.

CalleighDoodle · 21/07/2015 21:50

You sound really excited. If you hD longer before your weddinf id say come off pill, use other method, then ttc from after your wedding. As you dont have long and periods after the pill are hard to predict id say stay as you are until after the wedding.

Your wedding should be about you and your partner

PurpleDaisies · 21/07/2015 21:50

In the grand scheme of things eight weeks isn't long and I'm not sure I'd want to risk complications or sickness on my wedding day. Trying to conceive can be stressful too if things don't go smoothly and weddings can have enough of that all on their own. But as others have said both options have their good points.

Good luck with your wedding and baby plans.

bittapitta · 21/07/2015 21:52

You can't predict when your first actual period will be when you come off the pill. You'll have your usual bleed and then it will take time for your body to adjust, you can't say "oh I'll have my period the week before" if you're not on the pill. Stop taking the pill on your wedding day, no sooner. 8 weeks is nothing - you are both still young.

Pepsiaddict · 21/07/2015 21:55

I was 9 weeks pregnant on my wedding day (conceived 7 weeks before wedding) and felt as sick as a dog all day despite taking antiemetics. Wouldn't have planned it that way but thought it was ridiculous to take the map when we were going to start ttc after the wedding anyway (and I was over 35 so almost infertile if you believe the newspapers....)

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 21/07/2015 21:57

My advice is just treat your wedding as one final, big grown up party. If you're pregnant or even pms-ing/on your period during your wedding, you may feel rotton and not enjoy the day as you should. Two months really isn't that long a wait, if you've come this far without trying, another eight weeks is nothing. Enjoy your wedding!

Original poster
DeeDee40 · 21/07/2015 21:59

Lol sometimes I actually think people are more fertile than they think!

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MrsNuckyThompson · 21/07/2015 21:59

I would come off the pill and then use condoms until honeymoon.

So you'll not be pregnant for the big day, still fit in your dress and won't be ill but you're cycle might have settled down at least a bit when you're ready to take the gloves off!!

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 21/07/2015 21:59

*Rotten, not rotton. See what baby brain does - you don't want that for your wedding BlushGrin

MagicAlwaysLeadsToTrouble · 21/07/2015 22:03

Is being on your period on your wedding day really so bad?

I was on mine and it was no big deal really. I came off the pill about a year before my wedding, we didn't start trying until after we were wed but I wanted to give my body the chance to get back to a normal cycle.

As it happens my period fell on my wedding day and it was fine. Though I don't have bad periods admittedly.

Wolfiefan · 21/07/2015 22:06

Isn't it recommended any more that you have a period before trying? (So they can date pg?)
Be prepared it could happen fast or could take ages. Good luck.

Original poster
DeeDee40 · 21/07/2015 22:06

I tend to have heavy periods and bloat badly too ! My dress is skin tight too

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