AIBU to put £20 in a card?

[Madredear]

Hello,
A cousin of mine has invited me and OH to their wedding in August, but we're really skint at the moment, and she specifically ASKED for cash on the invitation, so I can't buy a nice gift.

Is £20 unreasonable?

They can ask but they won't get.
Receiving a gift should be a bonus, not an expectation.

The covering your plate thing though - every wedding I have been to has cost me hundreds, before I step foot through the door on the day. That's mostly because I live in London and have been to only 2 weddings here, out of about 20. So train fares / flights / at least 1 night in a hotel / meals while away........and usually a hen do as I generally have only been to weddings of close friends, not random colleagues or second cousins etc. So if we're balancing books, I have always far, far outspent whatever the country house hotel is charging the couple for the usually pretty mediocre food......so it's not really in anyone's interests to go down that road, is it?

fourtothedozen Wed 22-Jul-15 14:02:11
I don't see that the cost of the catering matters. The couple want to invite guests to share their day, they are not selling tickets.

Yep, this ^^

Has anyone who has given cash in the past received a thank-you?

I have stumped up three times in recent years and have never had a 'thanks', or even an acknowledgement they received the gift.

I've always had a thank you card for cash, and certainly sent them myself not sending thank you cards - now THAT is the height of rudeness.

Maybe I just know rude people

We would have skinted every single person that came to our wedding if they're gift had to cover what we'd spent on they're meal and we had a free bar for the whole day and night as well.