Aggressive and violent child at school. What can I do if school are brushing it under the carpet?

[Ducied]

Hi,

I would really like some advice from anyone who has had a similar experience, or works in school/LEA/is a school governor or similar.

My son (reception age) attends a very highly regarded primary school. It is rated as one of the top UK primaries.

There is a violent and aggressive boy in his class, who has sought out my child for the entire school year and subjected him to being hit/pushed/shoved on a regular basis. Sometimes it happens almost every day, and sometimes it scales off then a very aggressive and serious incident will occur a week later.

Examples of serious incidents are head injuries, head stamped on, attempted strangulation, blows to the eye, hits in the face with hard objects.

I have spoken to the class teacher about 10 times over the year. Each time he insists my son is sometimes provoking (we had NO behavioural issues before at nursery - not a single incident). He then deflects from what I am saying by bringing up issues with my son, for example, my son's phonics work (or similar). These 'issues' with my son are only brought up after I have called a meeting to discuss my son's safety.

While I know this will sound unreasonable to some, my experience so far says the school are trying to give me the message that if I kick up a fuss about this, they will deflect by attacking my son.

My son's report came home 2 weeks ago. It says he is 'outstanding' in all 3 areas of the EYFS.

I am worried about next year when this boy will be bigger and stronger. I worry something serious might happen one day. The incidents happen at playtime, and the school are clearly not watching them closely enough.

When I bring up my concerns, they seem to nod their heads and not do anything to address the behaviour. If they are doing anything, it is not working.

What would you do next?

If the incidents are this serious there should also be incident logs at the school and presumably GP records so you have contemporaneous evidence of the incidents.

You could have escalated this a long time ago. Leaving it to the end of term makes it more difficult for you to meet the Head/Governors and for them to do anything.

Write to the head saying your son has been the victim of a sustained bullying by this child, that he has received x y and z injuries, you have repeatedly spoken to the class teacher but the situation has not improved. State your son does not feel safe at school and that his wellbeing has been affected. Remind them of their duty of care and ask how they intend to ensure your son feels safe at school next year. Ask for a response within 5 working days and a meeting with the head and the new class teacher in the first week of term. Attach an incident log - what, when, witnesses, evidence (GP visit, incident log, what you did, what school did

Cc the whole thing to the chair of governors

You should focus on your son and the impact on him - doesn't feel safe at school, lost confidence in learning, failing in duty of care, specific injuries etc

If what you say is true and the parents of this chikd refuse assessments and support then a) the school should report to Social Services and b) should look at inclusion and exclusion options if the child's behaviour is this detrimental to those around him without the support his parents refuse

I have just had a conversation with DD school about the above. Complaints procedure states`in cases of a serious incident the head or representative must call a meeting and interview all children with their parents or similar representative. All meeting notes must be forwarded to the govenors, which must include a review date and expectations.

Spartans I don't think anyone is saying the child being bullied should have to leave. Of course, they shouldn't but being pragmatic about it, sometimes it is the best solution eg if the school is small so the DCs cannot avoid each other; if the behaviour is not at a level that merits police involvement but is still devastating to the DC; if the school are ineffectual at managing bullying.

It makes me sad that DS had to leave his friends behind but he no longer cries before school. He's no longer afraid and we're no longer left wondering what crisis we'll have to face at pick-up. If I could turn back the clock, I would have moved him sooner.

OP I feel so sorry for you. FWIW I can believe all you have said as We have been through the same issues with our DC school. The class teacher and HT deny the incidents happen, or when presented with physical evidence of injuries they blame DC for being too sensitive. Say that the behaviour is "normal for children of that age who are boisterous, rough and haven't yet learnt how to behave" . Lately we have been more vocal in our complaints and have been sent a letter asking that we either agree to trust the school to inform us of any incidents we need to know about and sign a form confirming we trust the HT to do what is best for our DC or we remove DC from the school! Ofsted aren't interested as it's an Academy. Our DC is entirely innocent and has has a terrible year at school.

totally I went to one school as a supply where I heard racist abuse. I reported to the SLT and said that I was happy to write up the report at the end of the day. I was put under enormous pressure to not log it in their book. It was incredibly uncomfortable. But I did log it. Some schools do not want Ofsted to know that serious bullying is going on in their schools.

to everyone whose children have been bullied and had to fight the schools to be heard.

Thank you for your replies. They are incredibly helpful. Our ofsted report says there is no bullying. It's a joke. I know families who have pulled children out of school because of bullying amongst older children that was not dealt with.

School have noticed these incidents. I am brushed off, the incidents are made light of. One teacher suggested my child had made up once of the very violent incidents. There are injuries and GP records.

Foegive me if im wrong. But if you are the poster i am thinking about your child's behaviour was an issue ie grabbing other children and generally provoking behaviour. Have you sorted out his behaviour but you kept downplaying his behaviour.

Then you need to take the records of injuries to the police, why haven't you?

Then say 5 working days of the start of term.

FWIW I know very few HTs who aren't in the office this week clearing their desks

Of course OFSTED are interested in academies. And you can make comments to OFSTED at any point using ParentView

I don't really understand the "victim blaming" comments. If a child is provoked and lashes out at the provoker at any of the schools my son attended, both children will be punished. The child who committed the violence will be subject to more serious sanctions, but the child who provoked will be punished in some way as well. It is likely that the school will speak to both sets of parents.

Also children know that someone is likely to lose their temper, and keep on at them until it happens. Then they run off and tell tales. It has happened in my son's current school but the school seems to be wise to it when it happens. And parent witch hunts happen as well - fortunately the school is wise to that too!

There is some very good advice on this thread. If you genuinely feel that your dc is at risk, get a meeting with the head, don't take no for answer and make them deal with it.

There are children who just lash out. ... its not uncommon, luckily its just the odd one. It starts low level, maybe saying you cant play with X, then resentment builds. Some children have a lower confidence or tolerance levels. A bully soon works out that saying X with make Y lash out. BUT unless teachers take the time to find out why a situation happens then deal with it, it carries on and gets worse.

So why haven't you emailed the head with all the details of the bullying OP? Of course the school can claim there's little/no bullying if parents don't formally register incidents. At present bullying is dealt with informally by class teachers and is seen as low key

I think you are letting your son down by not writing to the head and listing all the incidents

Straight the HT, you've tried with the teacher.

Be very positive and assertive but they have to show you that your child is safe in their hands. And it sounds like you don't feel he is. You need to keep saying that,
I don't feel he is safe.

Had exactly the same issue. Raised it with the teacher. Then the head, the head then questioned my child in front of other child. My son obviously lied as was so scared of other child. After this I contacted the Governors. My son was then targeted as a naughty child, this had never been the case and was not true. I had absolutely no success with the head or governers. So contacted Lea. But by this time we had chosen to move him to another school. After leaving I filed a complaint to the lea and local council about the head mistress. Honestly I lost complete trust and faith in his old school. My son is niw extremely happy and thriving in his new school.

That is not right, he should not be deflecting it and talking about your child's weaknesses. I would escalate it to the head teacher, I would also keep a diary of incidences and photo any injuries.

ZOMBIE THREAD.

Ex school gov here....escalate, escalate, escalate.

Speak to the head, speak to the governors, if nothing improves speak to Ofsted. Good luck

Get a copy of their safeguarding and ant bullying policy. Add to that their punishment and complaints policy. Highlight all the relevant areas. Make an appoinme t witb the head and ensure you have all the info plus a clear idea what you are going to do next.
Go in and do not get distracted by any attempt to deflect.
Every child has the right to feel safe and secure in their educational environment and yours does not. You are not interested in the other family's dramas, only the safety of your son. Demand that the policies be implemented.
Sometimes you have got to get tough. My HT did nothing until I emailed her pictures of bruused faces and feet at which stage we were 12 months down the line and still fighting. They asked if I wanted to remove our dc. I was disgusted. It ended up going to the governors and only stopped when the child moved away. Ofsted is your final resort. If their is a hint of them finding out how the school has failed to stick to their own policies then their Outstanding mark is in jeopardy.
You must diarise everything and stick firmly to facts not emotions.
Good luck.

"ANTI!

Christ on a stick, big fingers small phone!

Zombie thread

I went to a school that tops the league tables too.

Well known that bullying wasn’t dealt with there. They just didn’t want to know. Refused to acknowledge it was a problem.

Then they’d crow about their low instances of bullying. Yeah because they refused to accept that it happened! It did!