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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think nearly all the mums I see are bottle feeding?

289 replies

newmumma2015 · 18/07/2015 15:18

Not judging those who can't breastfeed but when taking my new born out the past 3 months I've only seen one other mum breastfeeding. Are you all hiding? Smile

OP posts:
itsmine · 19/07/2015 16:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CuppaSarah · 19/07/2015 17:09

It really does vary region by region doesn't it? Where I live now I only know one mother who didn't breastfeed at all. It's the norm here regardless of age. But when I visited friends in another part of the country, some of them had quite literally never seen a woman breastfeed and they were amazed how normal and subtle it was. Chances are they had seen women breastfeed but hadn't noticed. But bottle feeding was certainly the norm there.

To be honest I find myself inable to give a fuck how babies are fed milk. Unless is has Pepsi in it, then I'll pop my judgey pants so far up my arse I'll be walking like John Wayne.

ShipShapeAhoy · 19/07/2015 17:29

I never see other mum's breastfeeding either op. Since having dd I do look out for it, mainly because I was quite self conscious early on so wanted to see other people doing it. There were 2 mum's at a baby group I used to attend who did, everyone else ff. I do find a bit surprising as lots of women on mn seem to bf but I guess none of them live near me!

Cherriesandapples · 19/07/2015 17:33

I got a lot of support when breastfeeding in public. Possibly because I did it awkwardly!

nicoleshitzinger · 19/07/2015 19:08

"Nicole what happens in another country is neither here nor there."

It absolutely IS relevant. If mothers here are a) deciding not to breastfeed in much larger numbers at birth and b) struggling to continue breastfeeding and stopping much earlier than other women in developed countries then that tells us that the main barriers to breastfeeding are cultural and social, rather than biogical.

"Here people have the right to do what they like without any bf/ff enthusiasts deciding who is right"

But 'breastfeeding enthusiasts' (by which I assume you mean breastfeeding advocates) don't tell women that they 'should' or 'must' breastfeed. Their role is to flag up the barriers to breastfeeding that so many UK mums experience and to tackle the widespread ignorance about the health issues. (I appreciate you probably think that everyone in the UK knows everything they need to know about the benefits of breastfeeding because of NHS health promotion, but actually research suggests not)

"It is their child and so long as nobody is being neglected or abused it really isn't anyone's business."

So you don't think it's a public health issue? Why do you think the NHS considers it a public health issue? Can you not accept that while nobody has the right to approach anyone individually and question or comment on how they feed their child, that like all other public health issues, it's a fitting subject for general debate on forums like this?

Or would you like it to become a totally taboo subject?

"@I have done both and all dc turned out exactly the same health wise"
But your children are different and therefore comparing health outcomes in the case of two individuals is meaningless. You could have smoked all the way through one of your pregnancies and the likelihood is that you'd never see the difference it made to your child's development in comparison with your other child. And to be honest, it makes me a bit sad that you use arguments like that to try to rationalise your feeding choices - because they are so lacking in any sort of developed understanding of the complexity of the issue. It's also clear that you feel the need to apply a completely different standard of proof than you would to any other health issue (Unless you've in the past been happy to ignore other health advice like not to smoke during pregnancy or not to put your babies down to sleep on their fronts etc on the basis that not following this advice doesn't seem to make any visible difference to the health of the vast majority of individuals).

LashesandLipstick · 19/07/2015 19:14

Nicole, even if less women breastfeed, as long as they've chosen that themselves and haven't been bullied into not breastfeeding, why does it matter?

londonrach · 19/07/2015 19:22

Surely it doesnt matter as long as a baby that needs feeding is fed! Confused

itsmine · 19/07/2015 19:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlackeyedSusan · 19/07/2015 19:52

we mixed fed so sometimes took a bottle and sometimes fed boob.

WorraLiberty · 19/07/2015 20:33

It may well be a public health issue, but I totally disagree that it needs to be

This ^^ 100%

As long as women have the choice, access to support (no matter what their choice is) and clean water, then it really doesn't need to be regarded as a public health issue imo.

A thriving baby is a thriving baby.

MummaGiles · 19/07/2015 20:41

No support? The NHS massively supports breastfeeding and there are BF support groups all over the place and all over the Internet (see for example The Milk Meg on Facebook). There's nothing out there for FF. I had to FF or my boy would have had nothing. I tried to go to the go to the FF session in the hospital before we were discharged but no one was there to run it. I was given a leaflet and left to get on with it. We struggled for a long time and feeds would take an hour for little reward. All my FF knowledge comes from advice from friends, the HVs don't help at all to are only interested in when and why I stopped BF.

And what is the problem anyway if people are FF? So long as the child is being fed there's no issue.

RiverTam · 19/07/2015 20:48

If there's so much support for bfing then why are our bfing rates so abysmal? From what I understand from friends living in other European countries with newborns, the amount of support you get here is piddling (and very inconsistent) in comparison.

Whereas despite there being no official support for ffing, far far more people ff than bf. Which suggests that a) support isn't needed in order to successfully ff and b) we still have a very long way to go with bfing.

DJThreeDog · 19/07/2015 20:51

I agree.

But that's because (and people might disagree but this is my experience as a breastfeeding mum) that it is far easier to be discreet when breastfeeding. You just look like you are holding a baby, unless you use a cover or whatever.

LashesandLipstick · 19/07/2015 20:51

If there's so much support for bfing then why are our bfing rates so abysmal

Maybe people just don't want to? Low rates doesn't mean support isn't there, it means for whatever reason people are choosing an alternative.

CultureSucksDownWords · 19/07/2015 20:55

What about the Fearless Formula Feeder website and Facebook page?

Also, even where I am with quite high breastfeeding rates, the assumption from healthcare professionals can be that you're bottle feeding. Especially past 6 months. I really confused the HV at my DS's 12 month review when she asked me how many bottles he had, and I replied "none". I think for a moment she thought I wasn't giving any milk feeds at all, until she remembered that breastfeeding was a possibility. But the way she asked it, it was clear that she wasn't expecting anyone to be breastfeeding at the 12 month point.

WorraLiberty · 19/07/2015 20:55

Maybe the rates are 'abysmal' because more women are happy to share the feeding with their partners/family.

Or maybe it's because they want their bodies back after 9 months of pregnancy?

There could be many reasons, so I wouldn't assume it was lack of support unless you're talking about a particular area in which you know support is lacking.

Siarie · 19/07/2015 20:56

I really don't know why certain people have such strong opinions about how others feed their babies.

But to answer the OP, definitely varies by region. Where I live now BFing is more popular.

Ilovecrapcrafts · 19/07/2015 20:58

Personally I think there is support (in my area at least) in the form of bf clinics, mw home visits on day 5 & 10 and health visitor. BUT you have to be absolutely proactive in asking for help. I asked everyone to check the latch in the early days. You also have to ask lots of questions and do lots of reading.

I think many women have unrealistic ideas about how they will bf. IRL I have been told over and over by friends they are not making enough milk because their babies want to feed constantly for the first few weeks. They then chuck in a formula feed because they think baby is hungry, miss feeds, get mastitis etc etc.

Others have gone longer then the babies have had a week or two of low weight gain and they've been freaked out (often by their health visitor) started expressing, or topping up, and again are on formula full time within a few weeks. With mastitis.

Women need to be told you've got to feed constantly at the beginning but after a month or 2 it will be a million times easier than formula feeding so preserve if that's what you want

I have certainly been told FF information is not given because it's not needed (and would take resource away from BF support) I must admit this makes sense- what assistance would someone need to make formula?

WhyStannisWhy · 19/07/2015 20:59

The Fabulous Formula Feeder page is fantastic.

WhyStannisWhy · 19/07/2015 20:59

*Fearless formula feeder, even.

MummaGiles · 19/07/2015 21:01

But still, the question is what is your issue with people feeding their babies with formula? It saved my son's life when he wouldn't feed from me and ended up in neonatal being fed through a tube.

Ilovecrapcrafts · 19/07/2015 21:04

Wasn't it the tube that saved his life mumma rather than the formula? Expressed or donated breast milk could've been put down the tube too?

Personally I don't care what people do individually but as a population I think the low breastfeeding rates in this country and a concern, yes.

LashesandLipstick · 19/07/2015 21:06

Why are the low rates a concern?

Ilovecrapcrafts · 19/07/2015 21:10

Because it's proven to have benefits to mother and baby. Don't tell me you didn't realise that Wink

LashesandLipstick · 19/07/2015 21:12

Yet if women have decided that in their own circumstances, it isn't the best choice, why does it matter? Whether that's 1 woman or 100.