To think MN is getting nastier?

[MaggieJoyBlunt]

So far this week we've had giving birth referred to as 'calving' (in the context of women having children while young). Someone loved that one so much they immediately commented on what a great expression it was and repeated it.

We've had someone propose that Prince Phillip should be 'humanely destroyed'. swiftly followed up by a similar suggestion about taking him out to a barn or a shed or some such and shooting him.

We've had a thread about the death of a convicted murdered where several posters queued up to tell us they were, smiling or "laughing gleefully" or simply to post "lol" as a one word comment. (Okay she was a vicious killer and will not be much missed, but really?)

Add to all of that the Budget threads where in the midst of people worrying and calculating the cut to their household budget, other people came to gloat and make helpful observations such as "If you can't afford DC, don't have them."

MN didn't used to be nasty. Vigorous, challenging etc; But not nasty.

What's going on around here?

well mumsnet IS getting nastier you know!
OK so, you have broken them down into their parts.
What do you make of 'brigade'?

Well nowadays, Sunny, it's often used to describe a group of people with a view or characteristic in common.

Are you always so literal? You must find an awful lot of things to get annoyed about in that case.

no its just that I studied Eng LIt for my degree

but surely you know that 'brigade' has further meanings or connotations than just your 'nowadays' meaning?

" You must find an awful lot of things to get annoyed about in that case."

oh oh wait! Am I...... professionally offended ?

Gosh no Sunny, I didn't know that. I assumed the word had one meaning, and one meaning only

Anyhow, this is getting silly. I hate it when posters drag a thread into a petty bi-lateral.

really well I hate it when posters go 'eww Ai hev a degree in English' and then show that they have zero thought about words.

Sunny you're being so harsh!

Nursery made the point about having an English degree in a completely seperate point of her post to the question about it being ok to use certain terms or not.

This is exactly what I mean about people being rude - I struggle to believe that you'd ever talk to someone like this in real life

I've been here, under various names, since 2007.

it has always been nasty. you had the cliques that would rush to a thread and gang up on a poster, then moldies happened and it got a bit nicer.

then the media started reporting threads (why??) and it started attracting trolls by the dozen.

i learnt very early on not to seek any parenting advice here as it would always descend into someone picking every little thing apart and completely derailing the thread, upsetting me and making my that little bit shitter.

i only ask for health advice now, not much to bicker about there

Yes, if people stopped using "professionally offended" and "PC brigade" I personally feel MN would be the better for it.

When I first joined about 18 months ago, I was actually just looking for info on a certain topic but soon became astonished - nay, enthralled is the word, by the amount of bitchy responses and the nastier posters allowed to sound off on here. I've been on a lot of forums and had never seen anything like it. The flamings of the (deliberately) misunderstood, the projection! My eyes were agog!

Well far from just researching my topic then hauling the findings back to my own world, I got hooked, I realised there was no point in trying to find any serious rhyme or reason or valid opinions on what I was first looking for apart from a sensible minority who have actually helped me in my original quest for information, I am now addicted to the whole 'bashing', 'bunfight' culture and, although I don't want to join in because it goes against my own personalty type to goad and rile people, I admit to finding it hilarious and am continually mesmerised by the obvious provocation for entertainment.

The only time I don't like watching this is when I feel a poster is genuinely invested in the answers and wants to be taken seriously and validated but the responders deliberately twist their words and rewrite their OP to make them appear villainous, then I will defend if I can, I find it very funny if the OP finds it amusing too but not if I feel they really genuinely wanted the understanding and validation, but there again, if you really want kind understanding you wouldn't post in AIBU, that's more for a laugh really so you can't get too offended.

I think if it wasn't for the crazy nasty side it wouldn't be so fascinating, people shouldn't hold any real value to these responses, they knew what it would be like before they posted in most cases so I'm sure they don't internalise it at all. I hope not anyway!

I think there was always a nasty element on MN but it was diluted by a fizzy, fun, creative element. I loved the tongue in cheek threads that bubbled along entertainingly and attracted all the imaginative witty posters.
I think the forum has become a lot more dictatorial nowadays and sometimes writing a post feels like writing a legal document. You have to read it upside down and inside out and analyse every word in case you unintentionally upset someone or give some nasty nit picking poster a loop hole to dive in and start attacking you and accusing you of things you never said.

tell you what, never ever post about your troublesome teen who is in trouble at school or in a PRU.
then you will really see what mumsnet 'nasty' is!

There have been several examples of what the OP meant.

Making it all about transgender issues when it isn't.
Two posters points scoring over the precise meaning of particular words.
Nasty mimicry and personal comments

The thread then becomes dead. The original point lost. I would maybe like to post about the meaning of words or the use of specific pronouns but there is no possible way now that I could say one thing or another without seeming to "pile in" and take sides. On the one or two occasions I have done this - in an attempt to be as factual and impersonal as possible - I have been absolutely attacked, put down, flamed, been called names, been told I am all manner of things. So I tend not to now. And I am not the only one

I do have a view on language - I have a degree in Eng Lit, (or do I?)

@ vase

Vintagejazzandstuff - absolutely - it is like writing a legal document. Shouldn't do it really. Have just read my post of a minute ago and realise I didn't specify the time frame my comments referred to , ( the last two pages). Also thought I sounded self-righteous and preachy, ( a common fault of mine! so thought I should edit.

Oh well. I really should carry on cleaning the fridge!!!

Look what I found in said fridge!

Better get on with it. Two sulky teens both cross with me at the moment - hence retreat to MN to see who else I make cross with me as well!!

See you later

Professionally offended and PC brigade are almost inevitably used, on MN, by people who are being absolute arseholes.

So I'm never in favour of banning stuff but if you use PC brigade on here I will read that as a possible indication of your private yearning back to the days when you could just be a bigot and not worry about it.
You might not be but past experience makes me fairly confident.

If you use 'SN brigade' that's a sort of home run

But of course that's just my experience on various threads on here

I agree it's sometimes used by people who are being absolute arseholes.

But I've also seen it being used, in annoyance, by people who are upset at at a poster or group of posters taking umbrage and offence at something that was never intended or never actually said and who are genuinely hurt at being accused of being racist or disablist by someone twisting their words.
And it is sometimes used when a poster misses the point of a light hearted thread and again sees insults where none were meant. I think it's unfair to basically tar everyone who has ever used that expression as an 'arsehole'.

But again, that's my experience and take on the issue. We all probably do and say things and don't realise that other people are on a completely different page. I suppose the key is to say calmly when you don't like what someone has said and be prepared to listen calmly to their explanation (and, of course, to respond civilly to calm objections).

Sure - my experience on here is going to vary from others.

I'm just explaining my view why those, let's face it, loaded phrases are less than helpful.

Calling some PO is probably unlikely to make them think 'gosh yes, I'm over reacting'

So they are not really helpful and are used as a stick to beat posters on here.

I think MN's become a bit nastier this past year. What's SN brigade, BTW?

Absolutely Pagwatch

vase, one of the examples you gave was fully on the topic of mumsnet nastiness and was deliberately stopped when it was threatening to derail the thread. Your comment is wrong.