To think MN is getting nastier?

[MaggieJoyBlunt]

So far this week we've had giving birth referred to as 'calving' (in the context of women having children while young). Someone loved that one so much they immediately commented on what a great expression it was and repeated it.

We've had someone propose that Prince Phillip should be 'humanely destroyed'. swiftly followed up by a similar suggestion about taking him out to a barn or a shed or some such and shooting him.

We've had a thread about the death of a convicted murdered where several posters queued up to tell us they were, smiling or "laughing gleefully" or simply to post "lol" as a one word comment. (Okay she was a vicious killer and will not be much missed, but really?)

Add to all of that the Budget threads where in the midst of people worrying and calculating the cut to their household budget, other people came to gloat and make helpful observations such as "If you can't afford DC, don't have them."

MN didn't used to be nasty. Vigorous, challenging etc; But not nasty.

What's going on around here?

I'm certainly impressive in a bikini Performing an energetic samba with my belly and your buttocks could start an earthquake!

What ilovesooty said.
I challenge every poster on these boards to really think whether or not they would defend their child/loved one from attack. Why shouldn't we too?
Quite often we have been in the situation described, bearing the brunt of tuts, stares and direct aggression. So we will ask people to consider it. Only to be told it's 'not relevant'. Why is our parenting experience not relevant just because it is different? Why is wanting our kids to get the best out of life and be treated decently wrong? I'd fully expect my arse to be handed to me on a plate if I said all blond kids are thick, and I'd deserve that.

This is a parenting site. We're parents. Our kids are kids. We're no different in that respect. Why should we be shut down because we defend our families?

Of course you shouldn't be shut down. And I know what you mean - I've been quite viciously attacked on some threads discussing my own disabilities. There are some nasty people around, as we all know.

Just as you shouldn't be shut down, neither should the person posting that they were very irritated by some behaviour that may or may not have been the result of some disability. They're entitled to their own feelings, and to be pissed off if the other person's behaviour spoiled their enjoyment of something.

They're not entitled, of course, to demand that people with SN be excluded from normal life. But they're entitled to feel the way they feel. Compassion works both ways.

The 'worst' thread I was on involved a man who routinely caused public damage by driving his mobility scooter irresponsibly. Too many posters seemed unable to separate the fact that this man was basically a lout from his need to use the scooter - all scooter users should be constrained & controlled in case they cause damage. It was useless to equate this (properly!) with "all leg users should be licensed, etc." Different, innit

That's 'othering'. Nonetheless, residents of his town were entitled to be pissed off at his behaviour and want something to be done - something needed to be done about him, though, not all scooter users!

I would say... Mn has a lot more posters currently who make comments similar to those on the daily mail comment section. I agree it's more 'should of' and net mums and hun and I can't really bear that kind of thing. I've also read comments of the 'sorry but I really think you have a problem and you need medical help sorry but I'm just saying it how it is' type which are so incredibly simplistic and unhelpful and offensive.
I also think that there are lots of regular posters turning to doing reverses to gain a wide idea about what other people think so that the inevitable personal attacks don't hurt. Its a real shame.

I hate the 'you obviously have mental health problems' posts as well.

It's like being gaslighted by a hundred Mumsnetters at times.

Not sure if it's less funny ( I haven't got a sense of humour so wouldn't know )

That made me laugh

I think half the time it's not even members of the SN community who bring that up as a possibility or explanation. I see a difference between people who say e.g. "that could be my son/daughter/nephew/sister, he/she has SN and can behave similarly in that situation because of X" and posters who seem to want to throw it into any thread even where it is absolutely clear the OP is making a general point not a specific one, with a sniffy "have you deigned to consider this could be because of SN?" as if to gain some sort of badge of honour by being the first to mention it.

It isn't parents of DC with special needs or illnesses or people who don't have money or any specific group - it is certain individuals who will make a post all about themselves and crush others. If you object you are racist, disablist, fascist, racist - whatever. That is the problem.

I originally came here because I was searching for help for my DS who has dyspraxia, OCD, anxiety, speech and language problems. MN has been so useful. I have learnt a lot and advice from pp here has made huge difference.

From listening to others I have also re-thought some of my views and learned to think a bit more.

I am also self-employed and struggling, about to lose my house. My DP is Aspergers, my mother has dementia, I am a chronic migraine sufferer, (and I mean three days in every 10 in bed in the dark vomiting), and my Dad was an alcoholic.

I could derail every thread that mentions wine, headaches, weird and difficult old people, (and there are a lot of those), insensitive partners, shy and awkward boys who are small and weedy, and threads about house buying. It is easy if you want to.

If however a thread is about headaches or dementia or whatever then I can and will contribute.

Maybe this post is a bit unpleasant - not aimed at anyone - just trying to say that we don't need to be nasty about each other and not everyone has to understand everything all of the time.

Orange l don't think your post is at all unpleasant.
So sorry to hear you have so much going on.

Thank you Gosh - love the user name by the way - can see the "face" that goes with it!!

I will be fine - thank you - not an easy few years but I think I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I just wanted to say that we all have stuff in the background really..

I do still love MN especially as I get older and realise that whilst I do know a lot of people I don't often to talk to them about such a wide range of subjects. MN is wonderful for that!

I have seen some truely vile attacking of posters on here.

It often seems that if a poster dares to challenge mn royalty a well known poster, then they are immediately jumped upon and beat down. It really is gang mentality.

Who is this ominous MN royalty???

Seriously... who is it?

She sounds like a mythical creature or something more sinister even, simply because no ones dares to say her MN name. Everyone's talking about 'You-Know-Who' or 'She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named'.

Can someone please tell me who this Lady Voldemort is? Don't tell me its 'Tamsin Riddle' or something...

I think the constant references to MN royalty are really unpleasant quite frankly.

It's me! I'm the Empress of MN. Didn'tcha know? Off with your head!

Whos Queen?

See?

I don't care, Helena, she's just a rich twat in a crown. I am the real ruler.

ahem!

I do think all the so called "royalty" fled a long time ago.
After the invasion.

Royalty? Pah. I a republican.

Just try one on Ash. It can't hurt

I am The Fucking Queen.

I was thinking the other day that mnhq should set up more smilies to act as shorthand disclaimers. They seem to be needed on more and more threads. It would save time.

I'm definitely not royalty. I might like to be an evil minion though (not a Despicable Me one though).