To think MN is getting nastier?

[MaggieJoyBlunt]

So far this week we've had giving birth referred to as 'calving' (in the context of women having children while young). Someone loved that one so much they immediately commented on what a great expression it was and repeated it.

We've had someone propose that Prince Phillip should be 'humanely destroyed'. swiftly followed up by a similar suggestion about taking him out to a barn or a shed or some such and shooting him.

We've had a thread about the death of a convicted murdered where several posters queued up to tell us they were, smiling or "laughing gleefully" or simply to post "lol" as a one word comment. (Okay she was a vicious killer and will not be much missed, but really?)

Add to all of that the Budget threads where in the midst of people worrying and calculating the cut to their household budget, other people came to gloat and make helpful observations such as "If you can't afford DC, don't have them."

MN didn't used to be nasty. Vigorous, challenging etc; But not nasty.

What's going on around here?

Very sadly, I have to confirm that if Paggy did leave, and her sock puppet posted She was so witty and sparkling , with great dress sense, then she would be telling the truth. Damn her.

... although it's also true that she's getting on a bit.

Have some gin BIWI

What I hate is when people can't understand that you argue with the post and not the poster. And if you're trying to make an argument about something, being accused of bullying if you disagree or put forward a view different to the OP.

yy BIWI

post not poster, people

"It can be very black and white here and I think Mn has actually has developed a set moral tone on what is considered right and wrong. Every topic and issue seems to have been done so many times and read so many times by so many posters that most posters automatically react with what Mumsnet has decreed to be the proper way, rules for what is acceptable. In real life it's often not quite like that as obviously everyone else hasn't read the World Rules According to Mn. I think a lot of people either start to buy into this outlook and adhere or know they will get ridiculously flamed so stay quiet and it just perpetuates itself. Sometimes I want to give Mumsnet a slap and other times I acknowledge how much I have learned from this site."

I completely agree with you Bambambini.

Some people argue with the post but there are threads where people are definitely arguing with the poster. It's very unpleasant to watch. Yes, they may have pissed you off on another thread but ffs just let it go and move on. Chasing them round the board and jumping on everything they say is just a bit pathetic really and I definitely think that can be considered bullying.

I think Mn has actually has developed a set moral tone on what is considered right and wrong. Every topic and issue seems to have been done so many times and read so many times by so many posters that most posters automatically react with what Mumsnet has decreed to be the proper way, rules for what is acceptable.

I agree with this too. It's not very friendly for newcomers.

Yes BIWI.

I think being on a thread where 20 posters turn up and disagree with you may feel like they are a group and it must feel like you are being attacked.
But it often is not bullying. Often you have just been a bit of a dick.

YYY, Biwi, the art of spirited discussion is an endangered species. It gets really fucking tiring when everybody takes a rigid position and goes for an outright win. That said, MN is better at PARD* than most other forums! I guess its rapid growth has brought in more posters who don't get it. They need ... educating

The professionally offended SN posters really do derail things! There's a big difference between "The annoying person in the cinema night have had SN" and "You mustn't be irritated at anything at all because SN".
I kind of lost the will to live last night, on a thread where a poster was being told she should carry on a relationship she finds stultifying because another poster has similar issues to the partner. There isn't even a vestige of logic to that, but it ends up with the SN poster feeling personally attacked and there's fuck all anyone can do except leave the bloody thread.

• Polite And Reasoned Debate

For those wondering where LaQueen has gone................While I took a strong initial dislike to her, once I got used to her posting style I really enjoyed her posts. She was funny and good humoured and wrote very stylishly and had a knack of cutting through any nonsense without resorting to personal and rude remarks.

That's certainly one take.

Mitzy

"It can be very black and white here and I think Mn has actually has developed a set moral tone on what is considered right and wrong. Every topic and issue seems to have been done so many times and read so many times by so many posters that most posters automatically react with what Mumsnet has decreed to be the proper way, rules for what is acceptable. In real life it's often not quite like that as obviously everyone else hasn't read the World Rules According to Mn. I think a lot of people either start to buy into this outlook and adhere or know they will get ridiculously flamed so stay quiet and it just perpetuates itself. Sometimes I want to give Mumsnet a slap and other times I acknowledge how much I have learned from this site."

This, with cherries and ice cream on top. And chocolate sauce.

I joined, got advice by reading threads, enjoyed it and then got ripped to bits and called a racist for something I said (NOT racist, I had just challenged an attack by a poster on another poster who'd been accused of racism.) It was nasty, it was vicious, it was unfounded - and I was surprised how much it hurt.

I left for a while.

Now I debate challenge, argue and support. I apologize if I am a bit harsh or wrong. I learn from others. I have changed my views on some things through listening to other posters.

I am still not a racist or a disablist or sexist or a rape apologist etc - yet I will get called that because I haven't specifically added disclaimers to my posts or because I challenge a viewpoint. (Eg If you watch Top Gear and don't think J.C should be lynched then you are, by default, a racist. )

One very nasty and very stupid poster called me a Daily Mail Reading, small minded, useless Grandad etc etc, (I am a woman!), because I didn't agree with her.

It sounds really rude to me to call people "professionally offended SN posters". Of course parents of children with SN feel they have to fight their corner.

No wonder that as well as feeling excluded and judged in RL they feel as though people try to stifle their viewpoint on here.

I'm not in their position but a bit of empathy wouldn't go amiss.

leQueen can annoy, amuse and amaze me in equal measure but her presence is missed. Has she really gone then?

Professionally offended SN posters does kind of imply that we are all the same with no identity beyond a connection with SN/disability.

It's like posters who say 'mumsnetters are vipers/bitches/snobs/whatever'

I always think 'what all of them?'

I'm not an 'SN poster' . I'm just me.

No, it doesn't imply that at all. I was wrong to say "SN posters" instead of "posters with SN or family members or friends with SN, or who work in a professional capacity with people with SN". But you can probably see why I didn't!

Yes I see that. But as I said upthread I think the term "professionally offended" stifles debate anyway. In my opinion, like "PC brigade" it's all too often used to try to shut people up.

Sure - but equally you see my point?
It does sound a bit like we are just a big lump of posters with a hive mind and are limited to that. And of course it get prejorative whenever we are talked about as a group it is often, indeed mostly, in the form of a complaint and it's often interchangeable with SN brigade.
It's just a tone really.

'Posters with connection to SN'isn't overly onerous.
I don't even mind SN community. At least it sounds like there may be a few laughs and the occasional beer.
Possibly a parade

You'd make quite an impressive carnival queen, Pag.

It's my magnificent buttocks isn't it?

We could do that rio bikini and headdress thing, you and I .
We'd be impressive.