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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think MN is getting nastier?

970 replies

MaggieJoyBlunt · 17/07/2015 15:15

So far this week we've had giving birth referred to as 'calving' (in the context of women having children while young). Someone loved that one so much they immediately commented on what a great expression it was and repeated it.

We've had someone propose that Prince Phillip should be 'humanely destroyed'. swiftly followed up by a similar suggestion about taking him out to a barn or a shed or some such and shooting him.

We've had a thread about the death of a convicted murdered where several posters queued up to tell us they were, smiling or "laughing gleefully" or simply to post "lol" as a one word comment. (Okay she was a vicious killer and will not be much missed, but really?)

Add to all of that the Budget threads where in the midst of people worrying and calculating the cut to their household budget, other people came to gloat and make helpful observations such as "If you can't afford DC, don't have them."

MN didn't used to be nasty. Vigorous, challenging etc; But not nasty.

What's going on around here?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Yarp · 17/07/2015 19:25

There have always been bitches on MN. Particularly on AIBU. They are very much in the minority and you should call them on it, ignore or report.

MitzyLeFrouf · 17/07/2015 19:32

Dog poo thread on AIBU.

To think MN is getting nastier?
LovelyFriend · 17/07/2015 19:33

oh funny!

Yarp · 17/07/2015 19:33

I also find this 'professionally offended' tag a bit irritating. It often goes with the idea that someone is 'overthinking'

The Stephen Fry quote is particularly annoying. If your response to someone expressing an opinion that they've found something you've said offensive is to say 'so fucking what', then you've not really engaged with the discussion. And by swearing you've kind of confirmed that you don't wish to discuss things rationally either.

LovelyFriend · 17/07/2015 19:34

can I also mention how whenever there is a P&C parking thread now my only comment is "welcome to MN OP" cause you know it's their first week :)

Original poster
MaggieJoyBlunt · 17/07/2015 19:44

Does that mean rabbits are technically the mafia?

I've never thought about that one before Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
MaggieJoyBlunt · 17/07/2015 19:52

If your response to someone expressing an opinion that they've found something you've said offensive is to say 'so fucking what', then you've not really engaged with the discussion. And by swearing you've kind of confirmed that you don't wish to discuss things rationally either.

Quite. He essentially just flipped the poles from a theoretical position of "interlocutors must be bowed down to as ultimate arbiters of what is permissible to say" to a position of "I will say anything at all that I like and normal rules of polite discourse be damned."

I wouldn't much fancy holding a conversation a debate or even an argument according either of those positions and the rules that follow from them TBH.

OP posts:
DoeEyedNear · 17/07/2015 19:53

Well dogs are scared of cats
Cats are scared of rabbits...

Makes sense

SitOnMyFacebook · 17/07/2015 20:11

It's much more petty and more dull. Back in the day we never had to include 'lighthearted' in a thread title FFS. It was expected that any self respecting poster would be able to gauge the tone of the thread.

And even if you post lightheartedly on a totally innocuous 'lighthearted' thread you can guarantee within 25 posts one of the professionally offended will clamber aboard and announce 'I know this is meant to be a lighthearted thread but really it's very insensitive to post about your favourite shoes when some people can't afford more than one pair'

Oh please do, do, do just fuck off. As if their PO wasn't enough they serve it up with a garnish of inverted snobbery too.

Any post you write takes twice as long to write because you have to include so many disclaimers and apologies beforehand. You have to appear carefully grateful and humble about the fact you are looking forward to a holiday or a job promotion in case someone somewhere isn't going on holiday or have just lost their job.

And it doesn't matter how often you go away then come back. It's always the same small group of narcissistic biatches who have self proclaimed themselves judges, juries and executioners on Mumsnet purely because they have been here longer and are louder than.anyone else. As though longevity and volume make what they have to say somehow more worthy of attention.

And God forbid you don't show due difference to them by not taking them seriously and maybe being a bit quicker and sharper than them. They'll unleash a shit storm on you that is very hard to get away from.

You might have wandered onto Mumsnet looking for a chat and a laugh (you know as a break from your real life) but what you don't realise is that for a lot of people on here Mumsnet IS their life.

There's a disturbing number of posters on here who are overly invested in this site and what happens on it. They obsess and can't let matters drop and hound and stalk and bully. No surprises really that an internet site has become their chosen domain. Plenty of people cannot function well in the real world so they escape to Mumsnet dragging their issues and inadequacies with them.

Conversely there are posters on here who are a joy to read. But they're getting less and less and less.

And here endeth the lesson.

Original poster
MaggieJoyBlunt · 17/07/2015 20:22

Have some Wine sit.

OP posts:
ghostyslovesheep · 17/07/2015 20:22

DoeEyedNear my old cat, Rover, was very fond of next doors rabbit ...very very fond if you get my drift

mrsruffallo · 17/07/2015 20:26

I find the humour somewhat diminished. Just the chatty, funny thing. I have strong opinions and don't mind a debate but sometimes I can't be bothered.
Then again, I remember some old posters really rounding on people and bullying people in a way I haven't witnessed for a long time.

SnowBells · 17/07/2015 20:26

Any post you write takes twice as long to write because you have to include so many disclaimers and apologies beforehand. You have to appear carefully grateful and humble about the fact you are looking forward to a holiday or a job promotion in case someone somewhere isn't going on holiday or have just lost their job.

^This.

It does feel as though a larger proportion of MN now work for Compliance departments somewhere.

YouTheCat · 17/07/2015 20:27

There was a poster on a thread last week who reported another poster and threatened to call the police on her... because she told her to 'fuck off'. In fairness, the one who was told to fuck off was being a right goady twat who even PMd the other poster and then copied and pasted it into the thread.

Madness! Grin

DoeEyedNear · 17/07/2015 20:28

So we can add rabbits to the slutty list too then

Original poster
MaggieJoyBlunt · 17/07/2015 20:29

There was a poster on a thread last week who reported another poster and threatened to call the police on her... because she told her to 'fuck off'.

What!?

OP posts:
emotionsecho · 17/07/2015 20:29

As if by magic a thread appears in AIBU bemoaning the fact that teachers and people who work in education are posting on social media how happy they are about their 6 week summer holiday......see NO-ONE must be happy about anything.

Original poster
MaggieJoyBlunt · 17/07/2015 20:32

So we can add rabbits to the slutty list too then

Hard to take a strong anti-slut-shaming line re the rabbits to be fair.

OP posts:
Yarp · 17/07/2015 20:32

emotion

To be fair, it's being answered (mostly) thoughtfully on that thread

DoeEyedNear · 17/07/2015 20:33

Very true. When mine first met each other they humped each others faces.

What got me was they just laid there and took it on first time of meeting

Now THAT is slutty

YouTheCat · 17/07/2015 20:33

7 weeks for me. Grin

Seriously, Maggie. First she told all the recipients of in work benefits that they are workshy, sitting on their arses, watching their 50" tvs and having holidays with her hard earned taxes and they should find better jobs and plan better. She was horrified at the language and then someone told her to fuck off.

I pointed her towards Netmums. Hope she likes it there.

Original poster
MaggieJoyBlunt · 17/07/2015 20:34

Remarkably quick though. School can only have broken up five hours ago. Maybe the FB messages were really goady happy messages Grin

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 17/07/2015 20:36

Oh, and we were all lacking in intellect according to her. Grin

Original poster
MaggieJoyBlunt · 17/07/2015 20:37

I pointed her towards Netmums. Hope she likes it there.

She'll love it.

What got me was they just laid there and took it on first time of meeting

Diss-custing Hmm

OP posts:
SitOnMyFacebook · 17/07/2015 20:37

No thanks. Someone somewhere might not have any wine or even a glass to drink it from. And so within 15 seconds you're being ranked just slightly below Pol Pot just for having a glass of wine, virtual or otherwise.

Everyone has issues in their life some minor, some major. But it's up to you whether you want to drag them behind you like a rancid carcass onto every single fucking thread regardless of whether your issue is actually relevant to the topic in hand.

Too many people on here use other posters as either amateur counsellors or conversely as whipping boys.

It's unfair and drags the while place down.

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