Last week we invited a girl from dd's class for tea. Let's call her Amy. She has only just started this term. When we dropped her at home the mother said thanks etc and the little girl whispered something in her ear. So the mum said 'oh yes, would your DD like to come to Amy's birthday next weekend (Sat 18th)'. I said yes that's fine thanks for the invitation, she can come'. The mum said she'd give me a proper invitation at school, she was just a bit disorganized. I couldn't help thinking dd was just an after thought but as it was said in front of dd I had to accept. Anyway she hasn't given me an invitation and I'm sure she's trying to avoid me at school. I didn't really care til dd came out of school and started asking questions about Amy's party on Saturday, as some girls were talking about it. I said I'm sorry we've not been given a proper invitation so it looks like you're not invited after all. She got upset and said 'but her mum told me I was'.
So my question is this: AIBU to think if you tell a 7 year old child to their face that they are invited to a party you don't change your mind and hope they are either forgetful or thick skinned? I agree not everyone needs to be invited but she told dd she was and has apparently changed her mind. In the past my dcs have gone and invited extra kids to parties without asking first and I would never dream of letting a child down, even if it costs extra. It was even her child who did the inviting, it was her.