To think that organising a surprise party is actually quite self-centred?

[FurtherSupport]

It means that the party "recipient" gets no say at all in how their own party is organised, misses all the build up and doesn't get to look forward to it, or even plan their outfit!

While the organiser gets to have everything their own way and to be centre of attention through the whole thing.

I threw a surprise party cos my best friend was feeling like no one cared. He was so happy that he cried.

I organised a surprise party for my parents 20th wedding anniversary. It went absolutely brilliantly and they loved it. it was 100% about them and not about me.

Strange way of looking at it

It's not a strange way to look at it if that's been your experience of them.

*SGB: "Thirdly, I quietly pinched my mum's address book for an afternoon."

Well done you. DH organised a surprise 40th for me, and did this. Or so he thought. He'd actually got hold of my OLD address book. The details of current friends were scored out because I'd transferred them to my NEW address book, along with all the new friends I'd made in the 10 years since we'd had children. So the people he invited were my, ahem, B-list friends, while people I would have invited were not invited. It was an odd party for other reasons too, and I can certainly agree that, to some extent, surprises are about the organiser.

I've never told him .

[Anyone else remember the recent thread about the family that "always" do surprises? One couple specialised in entering yelling 'surprise' and doing jazz hands.]

My mil tried to throw one for my Dh a few years ago but without telling or including me. She tried to get his friends to help but they are all very flakey and disorganised people, so it didn't happen.
Where as I love organising things and am very good at it. But she was determined to do it 'herself' (so it would be all about her and how great she was) and guess what... It didn't happen.

I love organising things, holidays and stuff. Organising events is part of my actual job. And I hate being surprised by things. So I would hate a surprise party because I would just feel as if I could have done it better!

I have only ever had one. My ex thought it would be a great idea to organise one just after I had finished my PhD. I was dog tired, suffering from bad depression and anxiety, and not really in any fit state to leave the house. He got all my friends involved and they did loads of work. It was wonderfully, terribly sweet and I was very grateful, but I honestly couldn't enjoy it at all. I was just too tired. So I think picking the moment is really vital!!