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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

EXTREMELY TRIVIAL but AIBU to feel pissed off with this friend and refuse to do favours in the future. Or am I overreacting?

53 replies

RedKite1985 · 13/07/2015 15:20

My friend asked me to look after her dog last weekend as she was going away. She gave me plenty of notice, the dog gets on with mine too so all good. We were chatting about arrangements for her to bring me the dog or for me to collect it and we settled on me collecting it. 40 minute drive to her house but we weren't too bothered.

Anyway, a few days later and its time for the dog to go home. I am in work and my DP is on night shifts so is sleeping. I suggested friend could pick me up from work and take me home and so collect the dog at the same time (plus I get a lift home instead of catching an hour and a half bus home, could say a little favour in return for dog sitting!). Friend refused, saying she was skint and driving during rush hour would be costly. I told my DP who was pissed off by this and made something up so the friend had to collect the dog at a later time in the day.

I guess its the principle of it, we had her dog all weekend yet she wouldn't give me a lift home when she had to come to my house anyway. Although she did ask if DP could drop dog back once she had woken ...

A few days later I was working late and had missed my bus home. I text same friend and asked if her or her partner could give me a lift home in return for £10.00. The answer was a firm no as "that would only cover the petrol". So what? She wanted payment as a favour also? Is this friend a twat?

OP posts:
TinyManticore · 13/07/2015 15:22

Some people are all take and no give. The £10 petrol money thing is particularly shitty behaviour. She wanted to make a profit on top of her costs for doing you favour? Not very friend like.

Rainicorn · 13/07/2015 15:25

I'd be telling her she comes to collect the dog today or you'll report it as a stray and hand it to the dog warden.

And if never have her dog again.

Friends do not ask for money for favours.

Original poster
RedKite1985 · 13/07/2015 15:26

Wellt hats what I thought, Fair enough if I wasn't offering petrol money but I was (and it would not be £10 for the journey!!).

I really feel like saying something but feel like the moment has passed

OP posts:
TheWitTank · 13/07/2015 15:26

No more dog sitting or favours for them in the future! Users.

FanfeckintasticFitbit · 13/07/2015 15:30

How selfish of her but are you sure you weren't coming across a bit "you owe me one"ish? Because I would find that irritating but in saying that I do favours for friends without even thinking but I'd be a bit irked if I felt they held a favour they did for me over me, if you know what I mean?

ChuffinAda · 13/07/2015 15:31

Ditch her.

bittapitta · 13/07/2015 15:31

Yanbu about the first scenario. She should have been grateful and gracious about the dog sitting and your suggestion of a lift to your house then made sense.

Yabu in your last paragraph/second scenario. Why should a friend (not partner or close family) drop everything short notice as you missed the bus? It is your responsibility to get home from work. It is unrelated to the dog sitting.

paulapompom · 13/07/2015 15:32

I'm with Tiny on this - shitty! Good pet sitters are hard to find and expensive too. You've done her a favour. If it were me I could get past the lift from work/dog collection I suppose, as she might not have had petrol, whatever. But to be offered £10. For a lift and say it 'only' covers petrol!!! That's all it needs to cover, and if someone had just looked after pomcats for me I'd be glad to give them a lift for no petrol money.

You know if she's been a good friend previously but i wouldn't go out of my way for her.

LadyPlumpington · 13/07/2015 15:37

Friends don't deny friends lifts unless they have a damn good reason, like pre-existing commitments or illness. She is a user. Don't do her any favours again.

Original poster
RedKite1985 · 13/07/2015 15:41

I didn't expect her to drop anything though, and when I asked I didnt think of it as her owing me. I had offered her the cash. If I thought she owed me then I wouldn't have offered money.

OP posts:
Roussette · 13/07/2015 15:44

Not sure on this one. Doing a friend a favour shouldn't be done with the idea that "that's one in the bank, now what can I ask her to do for me"

It's much better just to do the favour with no conditions attached, end of. I agree though she was cheeky in not arranging to pick her dog up herself especially as you had collected it. How much out the way was it for her to also get you from work?

Original poster
RedKite1985 · 13/07/2015 15:44

It's about a 10 minute drive for her

OP posts:
Roussette · 13/07/2015 15:50

She should have done that then without quibbling, sod the rush hour

Original poster
RedKite1985 · 13/07/2015 15:53

Oh no, I meant the bus stop I was at was 10 minutes from her, it was then a 30 minute drive to mine

OP posts:
Pedestriana · 13/07/2015 15:55

She sounds like a bit of a user to me. You've put yourself out and she's done nothing to acknowledge that. On top of this, she's been unhelpful when you were in need.

Icimoi · 13/07/2015 15:57

If she can't afford the fairly minimal extra petrol involved in driving during the rush hour, can she really afford to keep a dog?

LazyLouLou · 13/07/2015 16:00

Currently she isn't keeping a dog, OP is Smile

Nettletheelf · 13/07/2015 16:05

She's not your friend. Maungy cow!

1Morewineplease · 13/07/2015 16:07

I would certainly not look after her pooch again... She sounds like one of those folk who want something for nothing and doesn't care how she gets it... I appreciate that you feel that the moment had passed but keep in mind how she used you the next time she tries to ponse off you. I would certainly be a lot cooler towards her from now on.

magoria · 13/07/2015 16:09

Well kennels are going to cost way more from now on aren't they.

QuintShhhhhh · 13/07/2015 16:11

Yanbu on the first, but yabvu on the second. One hour and 10 minute round trip for her to drive you home? What is she, a taxi service?

expatinscotland · 13/07/2015 16:23

No more favours for her.

Original poster
RedKite1985 · 13/07/2015 16:31

No she isn't a taxi service! But then I am not a dog minder ;)

Her dog pissed on my bed and around my house but I didn't make a fuss. A favour is all about asking, she said no and that's ok. But I do think she should have considered it given I had done her a favour and I offered to pay more than what the petrol was

OP posts:
QuintShhhhhh · 13/07/2015 16:33

Well, you agreed to put the dog up for the weekend, you could have said no!

SophiePendragon · 13/07/2015 16:41

I don't like the sound of her but then I would have rung for a cab in your situation. Was there any reason you couldn't just ring for a cab? It probably would have cost less than a tenner.