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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

EXTREMELY TRIVIAL but AIBU to feel pissed off with this friend and refuse to do favours in the future. Or am I overreacting?

53 replies

RedKite1985 · 13/07/2015 15:20

My friend asked me to look after her dog last weekend as she was going away. She gave me plenty of notice, the dog gets on with mine too so all good. We were chatting about arrangements for her to bring me the dog or for me to collect it and we settled on me collecting it. 40 minute drive to her house but we weren't too bothered.

Anyway, a few days later and its time for the dog to go home. I am in work and my DP is on night shifts so is sleeping. I suggested friend could pick me up from work and take me home and so collect the dog at the same time (plus I get a lift home instead of catching an hour and a half bus home, could say a little favour in return for dog sitting!). Friend refused, saying she was skint and driving during rush hour would be costly. I told my DP who was pissed off by this and made something up so the friend had to collect the dog at a later time in the day.

I guess its the principle of it, we had her dog all weekend yet she wouldn't give me a lift home when she had to come to my house anyway. Although she did ask if DP could drop dog back once she had woken ...

A few days later I was working late and had missed my bus home. I text same friend and asked if her or her partner could give me a lift home in return for £10.00. The answer was a firm no as "that would only cover the petrol". So what? She wanted payment as a favour also? Is this friend a twat?

OP posts:
Eternalsunshines · 13/07/2015 16:45

Find out how much a kennel would have cost her for the week of looking after a dog and send her an invoice, then add on a few quid as that would only cover the care of the dog, not the pain in the arse of it all.

Original poster
RedKite1985 · 13/07/2015 16:49

a taxi would have cost over £40.

I slept at my dads in the end

OP posts:
SophiePendragon · 13/07/2015 16:53

Oh really? Oh that's crap then. I am sorry - I thought you meant it wasn't very far.

LazyLouLou · 13/07/2015 16:54

Quint how else is she going to get her dog back?

Or is OP supposed to make that trip for free as well?

The detour, as OP has already said, would be 10 minutes...

RedKite has she collected the dog yet?

NadiaWadia · 13/07/2015 16:59

She's a user, I wouldn't bother with her again.

QuintShhhhhh · 13/07/2015 17:00

Lazy, I said she was not unreasonable on the first point, but unreasonable about getting her friend to ferry her home from work the next day.

Nettymaniaa · 13/07/2015 17:02

Cut her off and don't give it anymore oxygen. No dog sitting end of.

TheWitTank · 13/07/2015 17:03

I can tell you how much kennels are around here -my two are booked in for two weeks in August and it's cost me the price of a family weekend away (and some). For a single dogs it's around the £16- £20 per night. My booking was £27 for both dogs plus vat per night. It's not cheap and she is very lucky to have a friend who will do it for free!
I think it's bloody tight to refuse a good friend a favour -especially after they have offered money AND looked after your pissing mutt for days. My friends and I often do things like this for each other without a second thought. I would be put out to be honest and would have second thoughts about helping out in the future. Friendship works two ways!

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 13/07/2015 17:05

I just think you should help a friend when they need it. You did. its normal to be annoyed that a good friend won't help you, especially when helped them.

Other peoples dog's are a ball ache. You always notice the smell and their piss and shit is way more annoying .

Balaboosta · 13/07/2015 18:14

You don't get on with each other. Forget it.

sanfairyanne · 13/07/2015 18:21

yep, sounds a user to me
she is not a friend to you, sorry, just using you as it suits her

Inertia · 13/07/2015 18:27

Friend is a user. She can pay for kennels in future.

WingsofNylon · 13/07/2015 18:41

That's a really long drive! I think yanbu on the dog point but if a friend asked me to drive over an hour without notice and no reason other than she missed her bus I would think she had lost the plot!

Haffdonga · 13/07/2015 19:00

So you drove to hers (to collect the dog) for free but she wouldn't return the favour and give you a lift for cold hard cash? Please don't tell me you contributed your own dog food, poo bags and extra treats for her pooch when it came to stay. You did didn't you?

Say nothing. Do nothing. Next time she asks you to dog sit ask what she'll contribute for the journey and then tell her it wouldn't cover your costs as well as laundry bills,.

AmeliaNeedsHelp · 13/07/2015 19:24

YANBU on the first point - in fact she should gave offered to pick you up, and should have dropped the dog off in the first place.

However, on your second point YABU. It's irritating as hell when non-driving friends ask for lifts all the time, and it's never about the petrol costs (not for me anyway).

Aramynta · 13/07/2015 19:49

Wings I'm pretty sure OP hadn't missed the bus. Besides, that wasn't the reason. OP's friend was driving to her house to collect the dog and could have picked OP up on the way...... or a least that's what I am getting from the PPs.

It does take the piss a little bit OP, especially as she was going that way anyway and could have just taken you with her.

Send her an invoice in the post! Wine

dustarr73 · 13/07/2015 20:16

Well she has shot herself in the foot.You just won't be doing her an favours in future.After its nice to be nice.

MaryBerrysEyelashes · 13/07/2015 20:20

OP
learn to drive

Number12 · 13/07/2015 20:26

Ditch the 'friend'.

clairemum22 · 13/07/2015 20:44

Yanbu with the first one, but seriously you expected a friend to do a 70 minute round trip as you missed the bus? That's a lot today ask, yabu!

junebirthdaygirl · 13/07/2015 20:47

I would absolutely hate if one of my friends rang me and asked me to drive them 30 minutes home. Then l had to drive back. Unless they were dying. Maybe because you don't drive you don't realise that that's a huge ask. Collecting you as she came for dog is a different story. That is a reasonable ask.And she should have dropped dog to you. Ye ask a lot of each other

Lweji · 13/07/2015 20:49

Did you also pay for the dog food?

Ditch her.

CrapBag · 13/07/2015 20:53

YANBU about the dog sitting, she is a user and I certainly wouldn't bother again.

YABU about the lift though, ok you offered money but it's a 80 minute round trip for her which is quite an ask because you missed your bus. Fair enough if she was going that way but to expect her to come and get you from the bus stop, drive half an hour to yours then drive another 40 minutes home! No sorry, you were expecting way too much and I'd have said no too.

Lweji · 13/07/2015 20:55

How did it come about that you collected the dog from her? I'd love to have listened to that conversation.
And you had to drive 40 min to her house to sit her dog, and she couldn't reciprocate when you were stranded?

Charley50 · 13/07/2015 21:01

I think she was really cheeky getting you to fetch her dog in the first place and then asking your DP to drop it back. Did she make you a nice dinner or something when you fetched her dog?
Mean of her not to pick you up from work when picking up her dog too.
But not wanting to give you a random lift home... Fine really.
Just don't do her any more favours.

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