To feel offended about having my regional accent mimicked at work?

[Ballet123]

I've NCd for this as hope to not be identified. Will also change a few details for the same reason.

Basically, a couple of years ago, one woman at work began mimicking my regional accent in front of me. (Obviously it's from a different region from where I'm currently working, though same country). She has continued to do so, and only does it when there is at least one other person with us, not just her and me. She usually has a conversation with the other person, in my presence, using my accent. A couple of othe people have recently started replying to her using my accent too.

I'm not sure if I'm being very over sensitive (hence why posting on here), but I actually find it quite offensive and am sick of it. I just wouldn't do it to someone else, regardless of whatever the accent was.

I suspect she thinks that I haven't realised she's doing it and thinks she's making fun of me 'behind my back' because I've never mentioned it or acknowledged it. I know it's partly my fault for letting it continue, but I hate confrontation and also I don't know if it would sound petty to ask her to stop doing it. But, honestly, it's starting to get me a bit down and self conscious of soaking at work.

What do you think I should do, and AIBU?

Ugh OP, I'd hate that so definitely say something.

I went on a work course where the tutor thought he was hilarious mimicking a friend's accent and vocabulary. Unfortunately for him he didn't realise that over half the group had travelled from the same place so he just ended up looking like a massive twat he was the same twat that moaned about getting one of our 'dodgy notes' in change from the bar so we encouraged the barman to continue to do so.

That was probably childish of us so I wouldn't recommend but there's been some really good suggestions up thread for addressing it, good luck.

Next time she does it I would say

"Are you making fun of me?" Or "are you taking the piss?"

Whatever her response is I'd say "well pack it in". And then carry on as normal.

People like this piss me off.

I agree with Purple but I don't want you worrying yourself sick over the whole thing. I know you can do it and know it would a huge boost to your confidence to walk over to her deliver one line and walk away but I completely get it that you don't want to.

Where I work I would suggest that an informal approach is best but it really boils down to what works for you best to get this cleared up as soon as you can because it is an intolerable situation.

Eleanor Roosevelt said 'Do one thing every day that scares you' so maybe you should take her advice.

I get scared first thing in the morning everyday when I look at myself in the mirror and wonder how much make up it will take so that I can leave the house.

I'm sorry, OP. It doesn't feel nice, does it? I don't think you can stop people from doing this sort of thing because for some reason people think it is OK to do as long as you aren't a minority.

People mock my accent a lot and it is apparently always permissible for anyone, anywhere, to blurt out their negative opinions of my accent and country, and make joke about it, so I sympathize... It seems that in British culture, it is OK to mock certain factions, while others are off-limits. I don't understand that, but you won't change it. I find the best response is to simply stare at the person mocking your accent, totally straight-faced and emotionless, and say nothing. Just look at them for a few seconds longer than is comfortable. Then turn back to whatever you were doing.

Please don't send an email - that would be the worst thing you could do.

If you think she is being malicious there are only two ways to deal with it.

1. Ignore - bullies want to get a rise from their victim. By refusing to play the game, you don't give them what they want. You can potentially stalemate her out of doing this by not responding.
2. Attack - some sort of put down. Something along the lines of comparing her to the least popular person who has your accent. "When you talk like that you sound just like too?"

When she does it next time - "Oh - here she goes again. You should be on stage. Your just so bloody funny." When she does it next time " For God's sake - we know you are the office comedienne - but get a new joke please ... your audience is getting bored now..."

If you have your replies prepped and rehearsed, you won't need to think of them at the time.

I also like Hepzibar's response.
But it is whatever works for you.

Tackle her head on - don't ignore it, or send emails, or talk to a manager. You can sort this out yourself. And you will feel amazing when you do.

PS - I speak from years' of experience of being bullied. I learnt the hard way.

Sympathies OP. I'm from the NW and work in the SE. Have worked in the same company for nearly ten years. Colleagues still like to point out the difference in my accent. Every. Single. Day.

They make you feel like you don't have a sense of humour if you take it seriously, but if you laugh it off, then you have to laugh it off - and effectively laugh at yourself - every single day. It's not right or fair.

The email sounds like a good idea.

I'm on mat leave at the moment but when I go back to work I'm not putting up with it any more.

I still remember in my early days, when someone thought it would be hilarious to send me a massive list of Scouser jokes. As I would laugh at them? (Not even a true scouser)

Thanks all. So many different views on best course of action. I think deep down I know that I have to speak to hersel in the first instance.

Despite what some people say that I should do this at the time of her doing it, I'm simply not prepared to as I think that in the company of her closest friends, it is likely to backfire on me and end up as a 'conversation' and a scene, the very last thing I want.

Ignoring it is what I've tried for the last 2 years, in teg hope that she would tire of it, and unfortunately it hasn't worked, in fact another couple of people have started joining in with her and I think it will just get worse if I do nothing.

So it's a case of trying to catch her on her own, not an easy thing, but it will only take 30 seconds.

I want to get it done by end of Thursday at the latest. If I commit to it here, someone might remember and nag me if I chicken out.

You're absolutely not BU, this is a horrible thing to be subjected to. It's calculated to highlight your difference from the group and make the mocker feel big.
It used to happen to me a lot when I worked in the south of England, interestingly almost always when the person doing had a student with them.
I used EmilyWrites method, it worked very well. I remained dignified and they spluttered about, feeling awkward, looking like a twat and rapidly losing the respect of their student.

Good luck.

Simple, short and VERY clear is the way to go.

You do this..
I don't like it..
Stop doing it..

I'm so gglad you have had some good advice here Ballet. Loads of luck for addressing this issue, do tell us how you got on. I am sure it will help you at the time, imagining that there are hundreds of us mumsnetters standing behind you, on your side

For the record, my advice is like Lassparallel's above, (sp?), keep it simple. Just ask her straight after she's done it, "why are you trying to imitate my accent?" and say nothing else so there's only a few words you have to get out. Say it non aggressively. Wait for her reply.

Then you can say you don't like it and tell her not to do it again. And get back to your keyboard! Sometimes people will back down straightaway if the person they thought was weak, actually stands up to them.

Good for you OP.

You sound like you have committed to speaking to her, so the sooner you do it the sooner it's done and you can stop dreading it.

Have you told her you don't like it? She's not a mind reader. Just ask her politely to stop. Then if she doesn't you can try other means.

Well done OP on making the decision to speak to her. I recommend you write out what you are going to say and practice it a few times. Make it very short, don't ask any questions, say you don't like it and would appreciate it if she stopped. Say thanks and walk away. Easy peasy - joking I know its hard.

We are all here for you and will be heavily on your case if you don't do it by Thursday (not!). Good luck, you can definitely do it and you will be so so proud of yourself.

In the meantime don't spend one second worrying about her reaction, you haven't a clue how she will react and you will never second guess it. Just relax and do it.

Would anyone like it though, chrome?