To think this massively crosses a line?

[frackers]

Ok, so I have issues with the person involved in this so I need to get some opinions on whether I am overreacting because it is her or whether I have a genuine reason to feel pissed off.

Dh and I have two young kids (4 & 1) so hardly ever go out. We had an evening invite for a wedding last night and sil (dh's sister) very kindly agreed to look after the kids at our house for us so we could go. I should point out that all my side of the family were going as well so couldn't babysit.

Came home about 1am to find that sil has deep cleaned the majority of the house. I felt a little bit weird about this but it's what she said afterwards that has left me fuming. She said " I cleaned the bathroom for you. God it was disgusting, God knows when it was cleaned last." I was gobsmacked and didn't know how to react so kept my mouth shut.

Now, I need to say that, no, my house is not kept to showroom standards like sil keeps hers. I have two young kids and am naturally quite messy. I just don't feel the need to keep it to such high standards. However it is not a pig sty by any means, it is just kept to regular standards and is in the same sort of state as everyone else's house I know. Apart from sil obviously. And the bathroom is clean and tidy, I cleaned it yesterday ffs.

She then went on to say that she worked up such a sweat that she went searching through my stuff to find my deodorant! Wtf, she actually went into my bedroom and rummaged through my things! Please tell me I'm not going insane and this really is a massive invasion of privacy!

I've not said anything to dh yet, as I wanted to get a feel from the mn jury first. I am very grateful she agreed to babysit, but the more I think about it the more I can feel my blood boiling.

So aibu?

"Like she was showing me and dh that she was a better wife/mother/sister."

If that's what anyone believes, that deep cleaning makes someone better at those roles, it's so wrong on so many levels I don't know where to start.

Ah this brings back memories of mil. She decided to clean my bathroom when babysitting once. Except she couldn't find the bathroom cleaning spray, only the polish. So she polished my bathroom instead ( who polishes a bath??] which made it deadly slippery.

She also decided to do some washing and put my clean washing waiting to be ironed in the washing machine.

I didn't ask her to do any of that. The arrangement was to babysit. The road to hell is def paved with good intentions.

I disagree with people saying ooh how nice. I think it oversteps a lot of personal space and comes over as criticism. In ops case it clearly was a dig. What's nice about that?

It was rude. But I'd also put up with the rudeness to get a free deep clean I wouldn't take it to heart. (Which doesn't mean the same as I wouldn't think she was rude) The response that will bother her most if you can pull it off is a really cheery, slightly mocking her one. Say something like "I told all my friends and they all want you to babysit! " Or "my oven needs a clean, I don't suppose you can babysit next fri". Turn it into an (irritating) standing joke.

Surprised so many people are seeing the upside of having a free clean.

She clearly did it to make a point to you and not in a nice way. Absolutely no goodwill on her part whatsoever and you're right to be annoyed.

YANBU.
send her to ma bit instead. this place could do with a good rub.

I don't blame op for being offended!
My house is like a bloody showhome and i would be offended!
Doesn't matter if it is family.
Certainly don't think op is embarrassed either.
This was clearly done as a dig, not to be nice otherwise sil wouldn't have said such bitchy remarks at the end.
It doesn't matter what levels of dirt the sil is used too, she was there to babysit, nothingelse and certainly not to rummage through ops things.
( bollocks was she looking for deodorant!)
House was dirty but she still felt is was ok to use ops deodorant?