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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think MIL is being a bit creepy?

110 replies

Abbadoo · 11/07/2015 19:37

So, MIL and I don't get on well. But that's ok as we don't see much of each other.
Now DH has asked me what the perfume I was wearing 7 months ago, last time MIL and I met, as she wants it for her birthday.

I said her wanting to smell like me was a bit weird.

He says I'm being irrational and should take it as a compliment.

Verdict please (have name changed as may show DH the thread)...

OP posts:
BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 11/07/2015 20:17

Tell your husband what it is. This gives you a perfectly plausible reason to find something else trebly expensive and hard to source.

CrystalHaze · 11/07/2015 20:17

perfume is I think quite personal

I agree if you're talking about an imported/rare one, or one of those perfumes that you design yourself with a perfumier.

But if it's on sale in Boots it can't really be 'personal', can it?

(I reeeeally want to know what it is!)

Original poster
Abbadoo · 11/07/2015 20:18

Downtownfunk, bitofaboost glad you kind of get where I'm coming from.

I will stop wearing it and that really annoys me as there are only a couple of perfumes I really like (don't do floral!).

Never mind...

OP posts:
Lucked · 11/07/2015 20:18

YABU

More importantly what is the perfume? ( there is no creepy intent to this question).

CrystalCove · 11/07/2015 20:19

I think it's odd that this is how you naturally viewed this really.

CrystalHaze · 11/07/2015 20:19

what is the perfume? ( there is no creepy intent to this question).

Outed! Begone to MILnet, creepy MIL!!

Original poster
Abbadoo · 11/07/2015 20:20

Cartier Panthere for those who want a sniff

OP posts:
Alibabsandthe40Musketeers · 11/07/2015 20:21

Why will you stop wearing it?

Pretty easy to see why you and MIL don't get on if you are creating these dramas in your head when she's being totally normal Hmm

seanbonbon · 11/07/2015 20:22

Crystalhaze ????????????

CrystalHaze · 11/07/2015 20:23

Cartier Panthere for those who want a sniff

Thank you Smile

Losingmyreligion · 11/07/2015 20:29

I'm with you OP. My MIL wd do something like that to piss me off. I'd lie if I didn't think my DH would check on my dressing table.

ENormaSnob · 11/07/2015 20:32

Oh shite...i rellt like my grans perfume BlushGrin

ENormaSnob · 11/07/2015 20:33

Really ffs

mrschatty · 11/07/2015 20:34

Oh I wear the same perfume as my mil dh buys it for us both Tbh I think it's a bit young for her but she's a fun loving free spirit kinda gal...I don't think it's a big deal especially if it's an advertised campaign from one of the major fashion houses like mine is- hundreds of people must wear your scent it's not like anyone owns the rights to it!

StonedGalah · 11/07/2015 20:45

Yanbu. I'd tell my dh not to buy it for her. Give her one you used to wear, she obviously likes what you do so no harm!

Tizwailor · 11/07/2015 20:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Summerisle1 · 11/07/2015 20:49

I think you are looking for grief where none needs to exist. Just tell your DH what the perfume is. You've already said that you don't see your MIL very often so I can't understand why you'd have to stop wearing the perfume yourself. Also, scent very often smells quite differently on different people.

Janeymoo50 · 11/07/2015 20:51

I worked with a girl once who wore this amazing perfume oil from the body shop......I loved it. Took months of undercover investigations to determine the right one. Still love it now but sadly they don't do it anymore. I'd take it as a huge compliment that she connected in a way over a smell, probably our most emotive of senses.

PurpleSwift · 11/07/2015 20:54

Yabu. Different perfumes smell different on different people anyway, keep wearing it.

Teabagbeforemilk · 11/07/2015 21:20

So you are never going to wear it again now she does?

I think that's weird. Definitely weirder than her asking what perfum it is

ScarySpiceMum · 11/07/2015 21:31

Don't overthink OP. She doesn't want to smell like you she wants to smell like the perfume

CarlaJones · 11/07/2015 22:53

I was totally in the "Why on earth would that be creepy?" camp, but there were so many people agreeing it was creepy I thought there must be a valid reason people were thinking it. Having read the explanation, actually I wouldn't want to snuggle into my dh and get a whiff of my dad, so it's a fair point!

BitOfABoost · 11/07/2015 22:59

Really? Would all you saying "Still wear it" think the same if your father in law suddenly started wearing the same aftershave as your DH? Or your DH wanted to wear (and thus smell like) the same aftershave as your dad?

Maybe the OP shouldn't have used the word "creepy" but smell is so evocative that really it would make me feel a bit icky. ('scuse the word - can't think of the right sort of urgh phrase and though it is a bit twee it seems to fit).

jenenberry · 11/07/2015 23:10

I understand where the OP is coming from.

This is a perfume that her husband has, more than likely ,complimented her on a lot. He, without realising it, smells it and associates it 'mentally' with close, romantic moments between the two of them. Hmm

Now imagine if his mother starts wearing the same perfume.
So the smell of his wife is going to make him think of his mother, probably at moments when you really don't want to be thinking of your mother! Grin

Perfume is personal for this reason.

jenenberry · 11/07/2015 23:15

I didn't want DH thinking of his DM when with me

Exactly.
Smell is very powerful.