British toilets are really badly designed, you can't poo without it ploping in water and splashing

[ethicsgalore]

I think toilets here are a really bad design. Why don't they have the style of toilet where you poo onto a slant without water and the hole is right at the front? I want to import a toilet. Fed up of making a nest out of paper that jams the system.

I went in a long drop at Download once (vic under each nostril). It was ringing.
I didn't answer it.

This thread is now bringing back memories of a long conversation at Glastonbury over several pints of cider with some complete strangers during which we mapped out all the good toilets on the site and gave ratings to many of the others. There may have been, er, medicines not prescribed by my doctor involved.

DON'T DO DRUGS KIDS OR YOU TOO WILL END UP TALKING ABOUT TOILETS FOR TWO HOURS STRAIGHT.

talking of drugs and toilets, has anyone noticed how pub and club loos no longer have a flat top to the cistern? this is to stop people using it as a cocaine 'table'.
Also the blue light in some Amsterdam and London loos is to stop people finding a vein. Fascinating or what?

I am another who never worked out how one dried oneself after using the arse-hose. Since I will one day return to arse-hose-land, I'd welcome some enlightenment.

I dont understand the confusion. You dry yourself with the toilet tissue thats usually provided or you use the tissues you have in your handbag. And if toilet tissue isn't provided and you dont have tissues in your bag you take paper towels into the loo with you.

Not that I use the bum gun in a public loo but if I ever was caught very short I know I'd manage to go to the loo without anyone being aware of it due to wet clothes or a trail of footprints behind me.

I use flannels. They then go in washing basket.

But is there tissue provided if there is water? That was my question upthread, surely people who do a bum wash in some parts of the world are doing it instead of toilet roll, not as an added gleaming bum bonus.

yes skoda, no loo roll if water, surely?
Years ago I went from Greece to Turkey and found the hole in the floor complemented with a plastic jug of water......

Yes there is if you are in a part of the world where people know others may have different toilet habits and want a choice in how they tidy up after being to the loo.

And if you're not in a part of the world that does then surely you'd have tissues with you anyway as a matter of course - even for your nose.

I use flannels. They then go in washing basket.

Yep. At home thats generally what happens.

So its wipe, squirt with the hose (or plastic jug) whilst its held in one hand, then a wash with soap held in the other, then a rinse with the hose (or plastic jug), then dry yourself with tissue or a flannel.

Its easy.

When I was in rural India and toilet paper virtually non-existent people just used the bottom of their saris or lungis to dry themselves after washing. After all if you've washed your bum properly it should be clean.

talking of drugs and toilets, has anyone noticed how pub and club loos no longer have a flat top to the cistern? this is to stop people using it as a cocaine 'table'

It is a condition of the licence in the club I work for. Loo roll holders have to be rounded or sloping also. No blue lighting, though I think if the board knew about it, we'd have to have it.

At my Dhs bar they put sticky stuff on top of loo roll holder so anyone trying to use for drugs would get a shock when the drugs stuck to the surface! Funnily enough they've not had a problem since

But 2rebecca, was there soap? It's the idea of just water and no soap that I'm squeamish about. No paper if there's soap and water isn't so bad.

Thanks to this thread I have just wasted 20 mins reading about Public toilets in China. My mind is boggling.

No soap in the rural ones, these were Goan pig toilets I was using en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pig_toilet (just to make people who can't use UK public toilets get a bit of perspective!)

I know a bloke who sat on a portaloo in the dark and his ball bag touched the mound of poo.

That is all I have to say.

Mumbai airport

11 years later still makes me heave.

In HK there is a lot of on loo standing for poo purposes.

We were so pleased when a cohort visited our office . Signs were drafted I can tell ye.

Now you see, 2rebecca, I don't have a problem with the pig end of things in those lavs. I'd be more traumatised about the idea of shitting in public and the wiping of my bum on my clothes and the porker having a crafty lick thinking my nethers were some sort of Mr Whippy dispensing machine.

We were sold a bog with a continental shelf by a well known bathroom store. There then ensued the most ridiculous conversation when I tried to return it as not fit for purpose. I was told to instruct people on how to use the toilet correctly and that they had stopped making old style toilets and all toilets were now continental shelves.

I have freaked out at all the photos of communal bogs. Even the high-tech ones in Japan. My brain knows it's not the end of the world, no reason why not, etc. But this is the same brain that gives me recurring nightmares about having to poo in an unenclosed bog

Come to think of it, an awful lot of my dreams are about finding suitable toilet facilities

The only really satisfactory poo experience is one in a wood with a small folding shovel.
(Unless its getting dark and you don't see the nettles)

Last time I went to France I took my shovel.
How can British toilets be rated lower than French ones?
You see some perfectly groomed French women in the loo queue,and I just wonder how they accept the conditions in so many of the loos.

Flannels? Which then go in the wash?
There are five of us. That would be one hell of a lot of flannels and endless laundry.
Really really can't believe there are people out there who take photos of their poo and send it to people. Seriously???????

There are five of us. That would be one hell of a lot of flannels and endless laundry.

I have a very large family and we manage but then I do have two machines that run side by side, and the weather where I live means things can be dry in half an hour.

I'm the main bidet user so I'll often reuse the flannel if just drying my bum. My bum should be clean by then anyway. I'm not usually going through more than 1 flannel a day so not that much extra washing. There's a pile of clean flannels for people wanting a clean one .