British toilets are really badly designed, you can't poo without it ploping in water and splashing

[ethicsgalore]

I think toilets here are a really bad design. Why don't they have the style of toilet where you poo onto a slant without water and the hole is right at the front? I want to import a toilet. Fed up of making a nest out of paper that jams the system.

There's nothing worse than receiving a 'Neptune's kiss' in a public toilet

I've only ever seen a poo shelf loo in hospital or the doctors. I didn't know they were Germanic.

Japanese toilets amuse and scare me in equal measures. Some of them have that many controls they look like a vehicle, and you never quite know what you're pressing or what pressing it will do to you (squirt water or puff warm air..)

American toilets overflow all the time. No wonder they've always hated carpets in bathrooms!

This thread is hilarious it can't be lost forever!

American toilets are terrible, but i dont understand why they have to put small doors on the cubical either.. i don't want to see peoples knees while they are having a perch

i have learnt more from mn than during my entire educational history

Keep the thread. It is hilarious.

Has anyone been to the loo in Mijas lately though? Can they comment on the standards?

I didn't go to the loo the whole time I was in Spain.

The best loo I went to was at the Palace in Jodhpur in India - it was a veritable throne (literally - on a plinth and everything. You had to walk up 3 steps to get to it).

The worst one was in McDonalds in Hong Kong.

The next one was in a railway station in SW India in a rural rail station. It was a public loo with 5 of the squat ones all in a row and it took me several walks up and down to decide which was the less full one. Pooing on other people's poo is character building. And I was desperate.

this is not something I did for shits and giggles (pun intended)

Cheers, MNHQ! Nice to see you share our slightly aghast fascination with bogs & poos ... Here, have some to cover the lingering aromas.

TightWad - You could have gone to Glastonbury for the same experience. It'd have cost about the same, but reduced travelling time

Eeeuuuuuwwww.

Best fart joke.

Carole and Mike Middleton are sitting in the Royal Carriage with The Queen and Prince Philip en route back from Westminster Abbey to the Palace after Kate & Will's wedding.

One of the horses lifts its tail and farts disgustingly and revoltingly.

"Oh, I do beg your parden!" says The Queen, who is mortified by this.

"That's alright," says Carole. "In fact, before you said anything, I though it was one of the horses."

Thanks for keeping the thread MN.

I first came across a poo shelf toilet in Holland as a teenager. I was confused by the lack of splash, looked in the loo and there is was, looking at me.

The toilets in Japan can be a thing of wonder with buttons to clean and dry your bum as well as a separate fanjo cleaning button. However many places still have the squat style toilet

Is astonishes me that people start these threads to get off on them.

I find poo utterly fascinating though. No poo as such as people's range of attitudes towards poo. It probably doesn't help that I am on toilet training toddler poo watch. She keeps trying to dart off to 'be alone' which means to shit in her pants in private.

I am not at all bothered by other people's poo and will often give a wee courtesy flush for someone whose jobby hasn't gone the journey thanks to our awful plumbing at work.

On the first trip away together my now DH and I stayed in a hotel in Amsterdam. DH went off to the loo which had a shelf. First I knew of it was him proclaiming "oh dear god!" The smell which emits from a poo on a shelf is amazing in comparison to one safely bobbing under water.

I have used drop toilets and ones which have a bin for the toilet paper. Needs must and all that but I prefer the comfort of my own bog standard bog

the shelf loos force man to sit down (or they get a golden shower from below) if THAT idn't a good reason to have one...

Sitzpinkler

MNHQ I really think you should delete it. Otherwise what's the point of banning posters. Think how delighted the troll would be if you kept it.

I say keep it! But perhaps the troll's original post could be deleted and replaced with some poo-related hilarity from MNHQ?

Please keep it!

Would (almost) rather have a drop toilet than have use a loo behind someone who has done the whole ball of toilet paper thing. Used to work with some one who did this drove me potty!

Never been to Japan, but I wish to even more now!

Fortunately I had read My Family and Other Animals before my first trip to Greece, and thus knew that the little basket next to the loo was for used paper, unlike Margo in the book ...

Every time I go to the U.S. I get the squits for the duration so I have no fond memories of their loos.

Ooooh BeccaMumsnet - so you are officially confirming that poo troll exists? About time too!

I am about to go on holiday to Germany for the first time ever - should I be worried?

As for Greece? You can flush down a bit of paper (as in first wipe - sorry is that tmi) and put the "tidying up" bits in the bin. Use those Sainsbury's basics nappy sacks if you feel faint at the thought. I am horribly prissy about public toilets and poos but don't remember seeing anything dreadful in Greece at all over the years. People know to fold it away neatly iykwim.

I really, really want a bum hose, we're definitely getting one when we replace the bathroom. Lovely clean fresh feeling, and they completely remove the whole toilet brush dilemma!

I really, really want a bum hose, we're definitely getting one when we replace the bathroom. Lovely clean fresh feeling, and they completely remove the whole toilet brush dilemma!

You use a toilet brush on your bum?

This, BTW, is the controls of a public toilet in a Japanese coffee shop.