British toilets are really badly designed, you can't poo without it ploping in water and splashing

[ethicsgalore]

I think toilets here are a really bad design. Why don't they have the style of toilet where you poo onto a slant without water and the hole is right at the front? I want to import a toilet. Fed up of making a nest out of paper that jams the system.

Holland has poo shelf toilets. its gross.
Why do you need to wad up paper first? am constantly baffled by the toilet threads on here...

US toilets are a nightmare if you have morning sickness, 3 years later and the thought of them still makes me heave!

Oh my god I'm dying here this is way funnier than it should be. Poached poo just made me snort loudly in public

Poo poking I'm laughing a lot more than I should be at this thread!

US toilets might be fine, US foul drains not so fine - as we found out just after we moved into a rental house and the drains blocked and overflowed all over the garden.

"Poached poo"
and in equal measure!

Why have they changed the design of the toilet seats so that you can't change them yourself

My Mother recently knackered her toilet seat (I'll forgive her, it's been there since 1986) but because of the change in design of toilets she can't get a replacement seat for it. She's now changing the entire bathroom (not a bad thing really) for the sake of a loo seat.

Older toilets like from the 80s are rubbish, I have one and recently brough a new slow close toilet seat and it's too big for the bowl. tge newer ones I think are better

There is a place where you can get replacements for older designed toilets.

Would you believe that it's called www.brokenbog.com/ ?

Germany and Poland have the 'inspection shelf' so you can have a good old look at your poo before flushing it away.
Bizarre.

Dear oh Dear

YABU and precious !

I must admit I hate going to the toilet if I know someone can hear me. I've used squat toilets, and that cuts down on the raging waterfall splashing sounds but for poos it's a guaranteed skid mark. especially if the consistency reflects a change in diet due to being in furrin lands

Hoping some squat toilet enthusiats show up because I have a question/gripe! Which is: I don't understand the washing yourself with water rather than bog roll if there's nothing to dry yourself with..? In hot, humid countries especially, this seems like a bad idea to be all damp down below..?

"Aren't the continental ones you're talking about (the ones with the front ledge) so you can inspect it closely? I've never worked out why you would want to. "

Many Some years ago, I attended a series of lectures on the effects of systemic disease on body chemistry*. One lecture was about changes in the GI tract. The eminent professor said he did not believe anyone who said they didn't look in the toilet after a bowel movement. In all his years as a doctor, when he asked a patient 'And how about your stool? Any changes there?' the response was never 'I don't look!' but usually started 'Well, doctor...' and he then got a reasonably detailed (and usually helpful) description!

*I am a medical scientist, this is not something I did for shits and giggles (pun intended).

YANBU

Germany and Poland have the 'inspection shelf' so you can have a good old look at your poo before flushing it away.

well, there are those rare days you need a sample for the doctor... But that's once every 30 years or so. Strange to design your country's toilets around them.

Yes, the Netherlands have the poo shelf. It makes the toilet room stink because of course it's not submerged in water. Also, i found the intense rushing of water needed to push the poo off the shelf a little scary. not my life is in danger scary, but I might get splashed by poo scary.

The Germans are odd about poo. My son had a book (translated from German) about a Little Mole Who Knew it was None of His Business - ie someone pooed on his head and he spent the entire story visiting different animals, inspecting their poo to determine who the culprit was.

This is one of those car crash and rubber necking threads isn't it? OP, YABU - perhaps you need to change diet or maybe consider this?

The 'lay and display' or 'inspect and reject' toilets do seem to be a particularly Germanic fascination, but as Poledra's professor observed, a quick post-movement inspection is a common habit.

We also have a copy of the Little Mole book!
Anyway if you're going to inspect your poo you'll need one of these handy to refer to.

I've only read the op and the first reply

Farfrom!!!

I don't mind American loos, but I strongly object to the doors on their public loos. A gap down the sides, and a door so short you can see someone's knees, simply isn't necessary.

just put a bit of paper in the loo to poo on.

And you are sitting down aren't you? I mean if you are standing on the cistern you will create a spash.

Maybe you could move to somewhere that still has a 'long drop' toilet?

I once considered writing a guide to the different loos of the world ....

back in the 80s I lived in an old unmodernised house in Tottenham that had a blue and white 'Thos Crapper' loo! OK so the floor was sinking beneath it, but it was superb!

We also have The Story of The Little Mole Who Knew it was None of His Business. I read it to ds2 yesterday.
Didn't know it was a german story.

Thanks all, you have put me off my packet couple of Oreos I was enjoying,

I once used a public loo in Crete, omfg it was gross with a capital G
It was stand over the hole and aim thingy but previous users didn't have a good aim and there were dried turds everywhere,
Oh the stench was awful I walked straight back out,

I refuse to holiday anywhere with a Greek tinge now