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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To divorce DH over this?

161 replies

StoneCuttersStreet · 08/07/2015 13:00

DH is incredibly fussy.

For supper I am making a watermelon, halloumi and bulgur wheat salad (I know, but I meal planned when it was boiling hot). He likes all of these things separately, not just tolerates they are high on his favourites. But he does not like the idea of fruit with savoury. He has made it very clear that he is sceptical about it but has agreed to try it.

AIBU to think that he could just eat the watermelon and savoury parts in separate mouthfuls (the salad will literally be chunks of watermelon, halloumi, bulgur parsley and pumpkin seeds - dressing on the side Hmm )and just not say anything?

OP posts:
helenahandbag · 08/07/2015 13:44

So if someone gave you dog shit on toast, you'd graciously thank them and eat it? People are allowed to dislike something and they don't have to eat it just to save hassle.

He told you he doesn't want to eat that, you'd be an arse to push the subject with him.

googoodolly · 08/07/2015 13:45

Surely the obvious solution is to make everyone the salad without the watermelon, and do a fruit salad for dessert? I wouldn't make DP eat something he'd specifically said he didn't want to try - what does it achieve? He's a grown man and doesn't have to eat something he doesn't want to!

NomiMalone · 08/07/2015 13:46

You seem determined to make a mountain out of a molehill OP.

It's not setting a bad example to your DC for their dad to have a salad minus one ingredient.

It sets a bad example for you go badger him and try to force him to eat what you deem acceptable.

Spog · 08/07/2015 13:46

sounds like he's about 5.
tell him to make his own goddamn food if he's so put out about it.

Theycallmemellowjello · 08/07/2015 13:46

Eep just put the watermelon chunks in a separate bowl on the table and those who want to can mix them in with the salad? Am I missing something?

Original poster
StoneCuttersStreet · 08/07/2015 13:47

But I've already bought the food (we are quite poor by the way so good shopping is a military operation).

Of course people are allowed to dislike things. But I'd say a reasonable amount. I think it's pretty absurd to dislike quite so many things and new ways of disliking things keeps emerging.

Dog shit on toast is not comparable. There are only two foods I absolutely could not eat and even then, if I were at someone's house I would not make a fuss and would have a few bites.

OP posts:
OhEmGeee · 08/07/2015 13:48

But is not just a salad, you're putting fruit and savoury together which to me is just so very wrong. I would hate it. If you served me it as a guest I would eat it out of politeness, hate it and get chips on the way home. I would not serve my DH something he didn't like.

I hate my main course to taste sweet. I don't get why you can't just not give him the watermelon.

Nromanoff · 08/07/2015 13:48

The only person getting cross over a salad is you.

You are treating him like a child. You are expecting him to eat it because you say it's a winning combo. Like you say you do with your kids.

That's your opinion. My opinion is that hot halloumi and cold watermelon is not something I would eat. We all have different views on things. You and your dh does. Just because the bbc food website says something is a great idea, it doesn't mean everyone will like or want to eat it.

I don't see why you are reluctant to tell him to cook his own meal.

googoodolly · 08/07/2015 13:48

But he's said he doesn't want to eat it so why on earth would you try and make him do so? I don't get it. He's not a kid who needs to try new foods - he's a grown man who's perfectly capable of knowing whether he likes something or not.

I can't stand cooked spinach. If DP told me he was making, idk, spinach omelette and that I had to eat it, I would tell him where to go. I'm an adult and if I don't want to eat something IN MY OWN HOME I certainly wouldn't do so.

nokidshere · 08/07/2015 13:49

I wouldn't eat it - I don't like sweet and savoury together. But if someone served it to me I would just pick the watermelon out!

Original poster
StoneCuttersStreet · 08/07/2015 13:49

By the way this was meant to be a light hearted thread which I thought was pretty obvious. I'm obviously not going to force him to eat anything or LTB. Was just having a bit of a rant as people who have children whose children eat plain pasta exclusively also do on here.

OP posts:
Costacoffeeplease · 08/07/2015 13:50

No watermelon in a halloumi salad - delicious as it is on its own, that combination sounds horrible - I'm with your DH on this one

Nromanoff · 08/07/2015 13:50

So he is ok to dislike some foods as long as it's a reasonable amount of foods?

Just put the melon separate or make him cook something for himself

OhEmGeee · 08/07/2015 13:51

I am of the opinion that if someone makes you something you eat it and say thanks

But I wouldn't make something which my DH didn't like. Why would you make a meal if someone hated one of the ingredients? My DH would not make this salad as he knows I hate sweet and savoury together. It's really not that difficult.

Original poster
StoneCuttersStreet · 08/07/2015 13:51

Why is everyone acting as though I've said 'DH hates cheese and I have made macaroni and cheese and cheesecake for supper I am going to make him sit at the table til he finishes it and if he doesn't then it's bed without supper or bedtime stories'

OP posts:
midnightvelvetPart2 · 08/07/2015 13:51

There's been a few 'picky eater' threads recently OP & its a subject that some posters feel very strongly about, particularly if its linked to ASD or similar. Dislike of food can be about texture & visibility as well as flavour.

Does your DH have a reason for his small list of foods or is it that he's just picky/fussy?

bumblingbovine49 · 08/07/2015 13:51

I am afraid I don't like fruit and savoury together at all and would say so if Dh made this meal for me. However I would it it anyway because I pretty much eat anything.

If dh or I try making something new, I think it is important to decide if we both (and DS) like it before making it again. How would you do that if everyone ate it and said nothing? We always check fi the new thing is something we would eat again.

If I am visiting someone I always eat what I am given and make no complaint. If it is a meal we have at home and that dh has made and I hate it, then I say and I expect dh to do the same if I have cooked it and he doesn't like it. That way we can avoid any thigns we don't like in future

murphys · 08/07/2015 13:52

OP I did get that the thread was light hearted Grin

But the post is in AIBU Wink...

Theycallmemellowjello · 08/07/2015 13:54

Op I just can't really imagine getting annoyed because someone doesn't want a certain ingredient in a salad. It is no work at all to have that ingredient separate and then have people put it either on the side of their plate or in the salad itself depending on what they prefer. Just seems like a non issue.

Contraryish · 08/07/2015 13:54

OK, say he likes strawberries and gravy, so you make him strawberries in gravy. He's not allowed to object he has to just eat it and make polite faces?

diddl · 08/07/2015 13:55

I get that you can like individual things & not like them combined.

I also think it's odd not to try it as you don't like the idea of it.

Can't you make some up with & let him try & if he likes it just make it all the same?

Original poster
StoneCuttersStreet · 08/07/2015 13:56

Yes fair enough I made my bed by posting here! Grin

To be clear I think if DH doesn't like something but has never tried it before he should give it a try and then if he doesn't like it fair enough (although the overwhelming list is frustrating to me). To retiterate these are all preapproved foods and I did not realise this would be disliked.

Also I am sceptical about the combination of texture too but I wanted us to have something different that would suit everyone. I try very hard to pander to his dislikes whilst us not being on a rotation of about six meals.

OP posts:
misskatamari · 08/07/2015 13:56

It sounds yummy op! I've just had sweet potato, salad and haloumi for lunch and wish I'd added grapes to it. I'm a big fan of sweet and savoury together though :)

Nromanoff · 08/07/2015 13:59

I think the lighthearted but got lost when you started saying people were dicks because they wouldn't eat a salad they way you want them to eat it

WixingMords · 08/07/2015 14:00

Don't like the sound of it at all. I'd eat it though, I have been well trained by the dinner ladies of my past.

I get the irritation OP. You made the effort to ensure ingredients are to his liking and he's expanded his fussiness to exclude them

I find fussy eater threads attract those who think you should go to lengthens to ensure all fussiness is catered to, and all the better if it entails more time and effort from you the food provide, and you never eating what you want all the better.