To think my husband is at fault here?

[AmIjustgrumpy]

Husband has a track record of ruining my clothes by either washing whites with colours or tumble drying everything. He has no need to get involved in my washing at all and I gave up washing his clothes a few years ago when he couldn't be bothered to even make sure they made it into the laundry basket. This morning he suddenly realises that he has no clothes so needs to do some washing, he finds a load of mine in the machine which has been there for a couple of days. He takes it all out and puts it in the tumble dryer and then asks me to take out the things I don't want tumbled. I go to the tumble dryer and notice that it all smells and needs re-washing and tell him so and as I was going out ask him to re-wash it when his wash is finished. At the same time I put some new clothes on the utility room floor which are dry. Instead of re-washing the stuff in the machine he tumbled the stuff in the machine. He is absolutely furious and saying it's all my fault.

But none of this would've happened if you'd taken the clothes out 2 days ago when the wash finished rather than having to waste more time and electricity re-washing it all. The whole thing is unnecessary drama

Blimey if you argue this much about laundry how do you get past such bumps in the road such as what to have for tea or whose turn it is to clean the bog?

What crystalhaze said.

It's not a lot of fuss about nothing and not that petty when you have been married for 15 years and have had a lot of stuff ruined. In this wash is a very nice dress that can't be tumble dried as well as a new pair of trousers that again have shrunk. He ruined a brand new white camisole that I had worn only once. I don't think it's at all petty to be annoyed that a top you just paid ?25 is ruined - maybe you all have more money than me!

YANBU but you should have taken your clothes out of the tumble drier - or did you? If he put them back in the tumble drier after you'd removed them then that is completely rude; but if you left them in the tumble drier then, under the circs of his previous record with washing, I'd say you're at least as much to blame as he is.

I think it's a bit dopy to do any washing without being sure it's suitable so yanbu. You realised you'd left the things too long, he'd already moved them to the dryer assuming they'd be bring dried next, then you intervened and said " don't dry these I will wash them again" and yet he did. Why is he furious not apologetic for ruining your clothes? Seems like hibu because he's doing the washing on autopilot without checking to see whether his actions are actually suitable. Does he just wear v basic clothes - ie all washable, all tumbleable, cotton tshirts and jeans etc? My DH does not get the concept that some things need different washing cycles.

Eggyface - EXACTLY and glad someone finally gets it :) thank you!

I've re-read and I'm still confused. Did he not take your smelly clothes out of the tumble drier as you asked, and instead tumbled dried and shrank them?

Your question: is my husband at fault here
The answer: no he is not.

Extra free answer: you are at fault

I just can't understand why you put new clothes on the utility room floor.....if I were your husband I would be counter-moaning at you about that

Well if he's as crap as you say, I think that you should have taken the stuff out of the tumble drier to deal with yourself.

You need to reword your op

"My husband and I do separate washing. He took my clothes out of the washing machine and tumbled dried them despite me asking him not to. In doing so he has ruined 3 items, and not for the first time. Yet he is the one mad at me! Aibu or is he?"

Ewwww...wet clothes should not be left in the machine for a couple of days...especially in this heat! Regardless of what he did, they'd have needed washing again.

how come you do separate washing? I find that interesting? Do you have separate dirty washing baskets?

Do you draw lines down the middle of rooms and make him dust one half and you do the other?

That could be tricky though, because some of HIS dust might just accidentally fall onto your dust-free side..

The trials of married life. Thank God I'm single.

I guess he's mad as he wanted to use the washing machine & couldn't.

I don't know why he dried your stuff when you asked him not to though.

You were lazy leaving you stuff in the tumble you should have placed it by the washing machine a risky place to leave things that can't be tumbled.

No one died live and learn

Has he ruined any of his own clothes since he has been doing his own washing?

YABU
You are at fault, not your husband.

You know he ruins your clothes when he gets involved with the laundering of them.

However you asked him to get involved with your clothes. Why would you do that, regardless of whether you think the request was straightforward.

It sounds to me as if it was not clear to him that you needed to re-wash your clothes before tumbling them - I know most people wouldn't bother tumbling things that needed to be washed, but maybe he needs things spelled out in detail.

I am not sure, though, why you left the clothes in the tumble dryer - he had a wash on, so he was going to need the tumble dryer before you did, so it would have made more sense for you to take your stuff out and dump,it by the washing machine - I suspect there's a better chance he would have realised what needed doing if you'd done that.

YANBU to be upset that some of your clothes have been ruined, but I don't think he is completely to blame for what happened.

I think it's absolutely mad that 2 adults can't come to an agreement on doing the washing together.
If you don't want your clothes to get ruined wash them yourself fucking ell.

I don't really understand why people on eyer can't see it is annoying that a grown man didn't follow a simple request.

on here