UK mum separated by force from newborn in Spain. AIBU to be shocked this is taking so long to resolve?

[wigglylines]

Poor woman, poor baby too. I can't imagine what she's going through.

Why would they drag it out so long? How long does it take to get a DNA test FFS?

Story here www.theguardian.com/world/2015/jul/03/british-woman-says-she-was-separated-from-newborn-daughter-in-spain

[Petition link removed by MNHQ as we don't allow them in AIBU or anywhere other than our Petitions topic]

In all reports she has been named as Stacie Cottle. In the last one Stacie Thompson Cottle.
May be nothing strange about it as her baby's surname is Thompson, but there are now so many inconsistencies that one wonders

Maybe the delay wasn't DNA at all but the fact that the baby was premature and needed to be in hospital until then and that behind the scenes there were all sorts of investigations being done into the woman and her clearly very questionable account of events.

Moving from hotel to hotel, gallivating around the country side during the hottest summer on record in southern Spain, looking for rental accomodation while heavily pregnant with a 3 year old in tow and all with not even a change of clothes.
Turns up at hospital with baby under her arm in a taxi, expected to just walk in off the street and they would just hand her a birth certificate.
When it becomes obvious there's going to questions asked she takes off in the same taxi which brought her there.
Police have to be called.

Now she tells all and sundry this would not happen in England, according to her there you have a baby at home and when you are well and ready you hop in a taxi, go to hospital and you are handed a birth certificate. Naive

I'm glad that the mother has been re-united with her baby but I still think the story is a bit odd. In the last few weeks of pregnancy, I had to visit my maternity hospital weekly for check ups. It appears that the mother didn't present to any maternity hospital in Spain which is irresponsible, to say the least. Not to mention the fact that she didn't make any allowances for the possibility that she might go into labour prematurely, in a foreign country (could have been Spain or France).

When I had ds3, I refused induction and he came 16days late weighing 10lb 3oz. He was huge with lots of hair and could practically hold his head up. He was not at all wobbly like my others were as newborns.

I had him at home with an independent midwife. She actually went on holiday 2days later and I saw the NHS midwife who really couldn't believe DS was just 2days old. Kept saying he seemed more like 2 or 3wks old. But then having 3 other children I can agree and say no way was he like a newborn. Not just his size but how physically stable he seemed.

I think if I'd given birth unexpectedly with my granny there in the middle of the night, she'd have tied off the cord with string, then cut it, delivered the placenta, cleared up and told me to get de sleep and take baby to be checked over in the morning. She wasn't a midwife but born in 1902, the oldest of 14 and quite used to seeing and assisting in childbirth.
So I don't think any of it seems fishy to me. She spoke to press at the hospital but didn't want to leave the grounds to see the lawyer.
I'm glad the DNA proved her right. I hope she has managed to bond and I hope she's not stuck in Spain for another yr trying to obtain a British passport for her daughter.

She can just get a Spanish passport in half an hour for 18 euros at the police station! I don't think she will be stuck in Spain for a year unless she wants to be.

When I had ds3, I refused induction and he came 16days late weighing 10lb 3oz. He was huge with lots of hair and could practically hold his head up. He was not at all wobbly like my others were as newborns

But if you had turned up at hospital claiming you were 38 weeks that would have been fishy, wouldn't it?

I think if I'd given birth unexpectedly with my granny there in the middle of the night, she'd have tied off the cord with string, then cut it, delivered the placenta, cleared up and told me to get de sleep and take baby to be checked over in the morning. She wasn't a midwife but born in 1902, the oldest of 14 and quite used to seeing and assisting in childbirth

Even if you were in a rented that day apartment in a foreign country with no clothes, posessions, and a supposedly early baby, when you hadn't seen a midwife or dr in weeks?

Come off it. You're not comparing like with like, are you?

She can just get a Spanish passport in half an hour for 18 euros at the police station! I don't think she will be stuck in Spain for a year unless she wants to be.

Shes not entitled to a spanish passport though, is she? If neither parent is spanish.

Just because all the other stuff such as the rental and being in a foreign country all seem bizarre to us, it doesn't mean she is automatically lying. Some people just lead very laid back, massively disorganised lives.

The baby isn't entitled to a Spanish passport as neither parent is Spanish. As she was born in Spain she is entitled to residency and then after 5 years (I think) she can apply for a Spanish passport.
The point I think is if you turn up saying you had a baby the night before at 38 weeks pregnant, when the baby is clearly older than that and premature ( was in a neonatal unit at the hospital for 3 weeks) then the medical staff and social services have to investigte.

But somebody massively disorganised and laidback who presents with a premature baby older than she says it as and supposedly born at a later gestation than it appears to be (early enough to be kept in the neonatal unit) is someone who needs to have their story checked out before they waltz off into the sunset.

She says her clothes were at the hotel just not at the rental.
I have met people like this. We know one couple who I actually can't bare to spend time with socially because they do my head in. They are notBritish so I don't know if it's usual/how they were brought up. They are always at least an hour, often 2h late for everything.

Posted too soon

They never have anything they need be that swimwear or suncream for kids on trip to beach or any food for a bring something group picnic. Their child's school is always complaining to them that they're always late to pick up and they forget everything like parents eve etc. they both work from home and their house is just crazy. It drives me insane and I couldn't live like if but some people are just like that.

Ah, sorry, I stand corrected. DD got a passport instantly as was born in Madrid, but it is true her father is Spanish. I do have many friends though, who are from South America/Pakistan and as their children were born here, they have Spanish passports automatically, so I am not sure how that works, possibly because the parents have residency? Takes literally half an hour and is not like the whole circus you have to go through in the UK. (or the cost)

It will be tricky and expensive to apply for a first UK passport from here.

And people who are so massively disorganised that they don't get adequate pre-natal care and treat both birth and newborn baby in the same cavalier fashion often attract the attention of social services. Because they need it.

It doesn't mean she is lying, no (although some of it sounds very hard to believe as absolute truth). But even if its all true, there still seems every reason for investigations.
And there would have been investigations if the exact same story player out in the UK, or anywhere else.

This AIBU was not about whether her actions are odd or not.

We don't know enough about her back story to know IMO.

The AIBU was specifically about whether the hospital was grossly incompetent for making her wait 3 weeks for the results of a DNA test.

I can only assume that because people are finding it necessary to invent reasons why the hospital took so long (e.g. people suggesting they must have been checking out other concerns) that actually, yes people do think that 3 weeks for a DNA test is unreasonable.

But there's always the chance that actually, the paed was wrong in her assessment of the age if the baby. Drs are not infallible and ds3 would most def have appeared older yet may also have seemed prem as he had strange sullen features and no ability to suckle. He's actually autistic and both those are common with asd but also seen in prembabies.

Friends of mine are both long-term residents in Spain and their two children were born here but netiher child was entitled to a Spanish passport, only residency and then after (I think it was ) 5 years could apply to change that for a Spanish passport.

Three weeks is a long time for DNA results but the point is that the baby was in the neonatal unit, maybe it wasn't well enough to go home before then? Also it's not "excuses" that they were investigating, you know bugger all really about what happened except this woman's very weird, contradictory story. Who knows what was going on behind the scenes? I'd rather they checked it out than turned a blind eye to clear weirdness and suspicions when regarding a premature birth and ability to safegurd/parent adequately.

As the young Lady so eloquently stated in her 7/7 speech yesterday, sometimes people don't get over trauma like this.

There's a big difference between saying 'we have concerns re your parenting' and basically 'we don't believe that you are the mother of this child'.
I'd like to see your reaction if it had been you.

3 weeks isn't a long time for DNA results at all. Standard paternity testing takes a week as its long and complicated process and that's using a private company. This case would probably be using official testing labs and was probably run several times to check the results as well as being peer reviewed more than once. Doesn't take much to add up to a 3 week wait, particularly if the lab has a backlog.

CSI has a lot to bloody answer for as it doesn't take an hour and it won't auto-pop an answer on a whizzy looking application on a computer screen.

No I don't think she has been treated badly at all, in fact the hospital and authorities did exactly what I would hope they would given what has been reported which is put the child first and investigate.

Also had to wait for the Courts to give them the go ahead to begin with and then the judge had to look at all the evidence before releasing

She has certainly been treated badly if prevented from bf other than at strict 3h intervals. When mine were under 1mth they were on the breast almost constantly. Strict 3/4hour regime is a very outdated theory and most certainly would not have been enforced had this happened in the uk. I put my newborn to the breast for comfort and bonding as well as nourishment. How is it ok that both her and baby have missed out on that?

I breastfed both my ds's as and when they wanted. If I had been told I couldn't, told I could only hold my baby, and bf'eed them every 3 hours, because they believed I wasn't the real mother, I think I would be beyond outraged. Now and for long time to come.

So, if I'm hospitalised any where in the world I can demand that they change everything to accomodate me. OK then.

If she wanted to be sure things were done her way she should not travel. Period