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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

breastfeeding in the supermarket

426 replies

wtfisgoingonhere · 04/07/2015 18:51

Ok so I'm all for breastfeeding and think all mums should (assuming mother/baby are able to) but WALKING AROUND SAINSBURYS breastfeeding. . . Seriously? ?

Maybe it's only me that's shocked and I am not a mum myself if that makes a difference.
Don't get me wrong I certainly disagree with mums being ushered into toilets and the like but I felt a bit of modesty could have avoided awkwardness for both mum and others she may come across.

I have no issue with nudity either, i enjoy sunbathing topless and strolling around my home in various states of undress but I couldn't imagine ever feeling comfortable doing this myself

The last thing I expected on a Saturday afternoon trip to sainsburys was to round the corner of an aisle to come face to face with a woman with her top down and FULL BOOB OUT (I saw nipple and all!) strolling down the home entertainment aisle feeding baby. Yes I know this is what they are intended for but when men aren't allowed to enter shirtless is this not a bit much? Had she been sat outside the store on the benches or in a cafe (if they had one) I guess i or anyone else wouldn't have batted an eyelid

Just interested in others opinions

Is this taking things a bit far or perhaps it is just a multitasking achievement extraordinaire?

OP posts:
shitebag · 06/07/2015 09:31

Sorry Salene, completely agree that everyone is entitled to an opinion but your comment just made me snort tea!

"Its a well known fact"... " based on discussions I've had" :o

In that case its a well known fact that our very own Royal family are indeed lizards. Because we've had that discussion on here.

As for "what's wrong with using a breastfeeding apron?"

Nothing, if that's what you choose to do. Others choose not to because they don't have the spare cash for a ridiculous looking contraption, their baby doesn't want to feed with a blanket over their head, they don't get on with them or just because quite frankly it draws more attention than just getting on with it!

I never wanted one nor do I have a car so I fed when/where and I did it discreetly, no one ever noticed. Yes there's no need to wander with breasts flying around but there are more "uncomfortable" going on in the world.

PickledSprout · 06/07/2015 09:41

I have breastfed in Sainsburys! It was discrete. Nobody saw my nipple as it was inside my baby's mouth! Much of my breast was covered by clothes and a sling.

I have seen more skin (and more breast) on display on other shoppers dressed for the summer weather.

I have breast fed pretty much everywhere: plane, train, boat, shop, cafe, walking down the street, weddings, funerals and everywhere in between. I am not doing it for attention. I do it to feed my baby. I am usually as discrete as possible whilst meeting my baby's needs and comfort.

Nobody breast feeds for attention!

Seffina · 06/07/2015 10:20

Anecdotally, every elderly person that has noticed me breastfeeding has smiled at me or talked to me. Not uncomfortable in the slightest. One time I did try and refrain from feeding whilst I was sat with an older woman in her living room with a wriggly, whingey baby she actually insisted I fed the baby and went on to tell me how she fed both her children for over 18 months.

Is it not a bit of an ageist assumption to say "but elderly people are made uncomfortable by breastfeeding"?

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 06/07/2015 10:36

Never ceases to surprise me what people notice while they're out shopping.

Doesn't anyone just crack on with the shopping? I just want to get in and out of these places with the least amount of agro as possible. I don't even think I'd notice someone breastfeeding and it wouldn't stay in my mind long enough to think about mentioning it on a forum.

My mind boggles.

maybebabybee · 06/07/2015 10:48

I'm pregnant with my first. Assuming I can get the hang of breastfeeding ok then I fully intend to breastfeed him/her in any and all public places I visit, just to annoy uptight people like you, OP.

My mum used to whip her boob out anywhere to feed my siblings. It's feeding your baby. I assume you wouldn't complain about a mother walking round Sainsbury's feeding her baby with a bottle?

I think it's total bollocks that elderly people are uncomfortable with breastfeeding, but even if it were true, then that's their issue, not mine or anyone else's.

Maya15 · 06/07/2015 10:55

YABU

I have seen women in other countries breast feeding in shops, supermarkets, on busses and even whilst walking down the street. Nobody gave it a second look or seemed offended. It is a nipple/boob and they are feeding a baby/small infant. Get over it. If it offends you or if you would not feel comfortable doing it then that's your problem.

Offred · 06/07/2015 18:27

Is this a bit like "YANBU gay people kissing make me uncomfortable, I know that the law now says it is ok to be gay but can't they be a bit more discreet about it? Don't they realise some people will be offended/made uncomfortable?! I mean socially and culturally this is a primarily heterosexual country and rightly or wrongly this kind of thing IS likely to offend the elderly..."

Offred · 06/07/2015 18:30

Do people still not understand that breastfeeding women have the legal right to feed their babies however they see fit? Ergo it does not matter if some people take offence, those people are wrong and the law now requires they reconsider their offence taking rather than the breastfeeding mother reconsider her breastfeeding.

NinkyNonkers · 06/07/2015 18:34

'...a well known fact'...because you spoke to someone? Methinks you do not know what that phrase means...

And Sandgrown I do have to laugh a little at the irony of you spouting on about supporting other mums when it comes to formula (be honest, it is sub optimal...perfectly good just not 'as' good. Don't feel bad, we all do what we have to) whilst not supporting a mum in her choice to breastfeed in the supermarket. Or is it just some mums and choices we should be supporting unquestioningly?

PiperChapstick · 06/07/2015 19:29

NRTFT as its too fecking long like breastfeeding ones usually are

When DD was a newborn she was sometimes hungry when I happened to be shopping. I have fed her loads walking round Tesco. I figured that-
A) I didn't wanna faff on finding a place to sit when I had a full trolley
B) people would much rather see a bit of inoffensive skin than hear my DD scream blue murder
C) I wouldn't wanna leave her hungry in case a clenched stranger got offended
D) if I fed her now she'll be asleep when we get home and I could paint my nails - hooray!

I find it hard to believe that someone thinks it's ok to go topless because there's sand and water in the vicinity but a child having its dinner, which just happens to be from a breast, is shocking. And how could you see the nipple exactly?

PiperChapstick · 06/07/2015 19:31

Also why exactly does it have to be done discreetly? What is in indiscreet part about breastfeeding? Unless you ask everyone woman who has a slight bit of chest showing to stick a polo neck on, you really can't be choosy about which part of the cheat offends you

tobysmum77 · 06/07/2015 19:46

it makes people feel uncomfortable especially older people

I always think of my grandmother who sadly died 3 years ago. She lived through 2 wars and in the second her place of work was blown to smithereens killing off a proportion of her workmates.

She'd seen far more shocking things in her life that a nipple in sainsburys. Why do people have to infantalise the elderly? They have much greater experience of life than the rest of us!

Gymtortoise · 06/07/2015 19:51

Of course every mother should use a blanket or an apron when breastfeeding.

They can use it to put over your head if you don't like it. You can't see any boob, they can't see your stupid judgemental face. Win win.

sleeponeday · 06/07/2015 20:26

I carried a BF apron around with me, what's wrong with using one of them..??

Put one over your head next time you have a meal - then come here with that experience fresh in your mind, and we'll talk.

JassyRadlett · 06/07/2015 20:39

it makes people feel uncomfortable especially older people

I am everlastingly glad that the elderly woman who perched next to me on a bench in a large shopping centre while I was trying to BF my first at 3 weeks old simply told me she thought I was doing a lovely and wonderful thing.

I was so wound up by comments like the above that I'd thought she was going to tell me off, and I nearly cried when she was nice. None of the subsequent dirty looks or pointed comments I received were from elderly people.

Stereotyping the elderly based on one's own assumptions is a pretty shitty thing to do.

Offred · 06/07/2015 20:39

IMO it is fine if you wanted to use a breastfeeding apron because you felt uncomfortable for whatever reason.

It is not fine to expect that others should take on the burden of people's stupid, irrational and now illegal (if acted on) offence taking and do what you did.

WTAF is a breastfeeding apron?

Runningupthathill82 · 06/07/2015 20:41

What the fuck is a breastfeeding apron?! I fed for a year and never came across such a thing.

sleeponeday · 06/07/2015 20:43

Oh sure, I have friends who used one. But when I tried, my child hated it and would scream and try to struggle out, so in the end I just fed whenever. Nobody ever seemed to mind, in fairness... which was not the case when I bottlefed (with expressed milk, ironically) when I got a couple of nasty looks and one snide comment, though I did live in one of the rare areas where breastfeeding is the norm.

A woman's place is in the wrong. And other women, sadly, are often eager enforcers.

sleeponeday · 06/07/2015 20:44

Breastfeeding cover/apron.

Runningupthathill82 · 06/07/2015 20:47

Oh! I was imagining a pinny. How confusing. Never had any need for a weird sheet either.
A big patterned cover is far less subtle than just getting on and feeding IMO. And I can't imagine it's much fun for the baby to feed under a tent.

Offred · 06/07/2015 20:51

Yes, small babies are most at risk from overheating and suffocation so i think it's a bit sad that women feel they have to use them in order to 'be discreet'.

sourpotato · 06/07/2015 21:09

I've seen this before, except in my case it was walking around Tesco. I was surprised, because I'd never see it before, but not 'shocked'. Thought it was a good thing tbh. I don't get why anyone would be bothered by it unless bfing in general makes them uncomfortable, in which case that's very much their issue.

sleeponeday · 06/07/2015 21:09

Yeah, I didn't blame her for screaming.

I'm not someone who is that comfy with people I don't know seeing me naked, as a general rule, but it's extraordinary how fast you just stop noticing, never mind caring, when breastfeeding regularly. Which is a good thing, IMO.

sleeponeday · 06/07/2015 21:10

And for the record, I hope DD sees lots of other women openly breastfeeding as she grows up, so she doesn't have hangups about it herself.

BeverlyGoldberg · 06/07/2015 21:16

I would breastfeed my baby stark bollock naked in front of the town hall clock if I could, I miss it so much and I'd give anything for it back.

It's the most natural thing in the world whether it takes place in a supermarket or not.

Live and let live.