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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

breastfeeding in the supermarket

426 replies

wtfisgoingonhere · 04/07/2015 18:51

Ok so I'm all for breastfeeding and think all mums should (assuming mother/baby are able to) but WALKING AROUND SAINSBURYS breastfeeding. . . Seriously? ?

Maybe it's only me that's shocked and I am not a mum myself if that makes a difference.
Don't get me wrong I certainly disagree with mums being ushered into toilets and the like but I felt a bit of modesty could have avoided awkwardness for both mum and others she may come across.

I have no issue with nudity either, i enjoy sunbathing topless and strolling around my home in various states of undress but I couldn't imagine ever feeling comfortable doing this myself

The last thing I expected on a Saturday afternoon trip to sainsburys was to round the corner of an aisle to come face to face with a woman with her top down and FULL BOOB OUT (I saw nipple and all!) strolling down the home entertainment aisle feeding baby. Yes I know this is what they are intended for but when men aren't allowed to enter shirtless is this not a bit much? Had she been sat outside the store on the benches or in a cafe (if they had one) I guess i or anyone else wouldn't have batted an eyelid

Just interested in others opinions

Is this taking things a bit far or perhaps it is just a multitasking achievement extraordinaire?

OP posts:
Buttercupsandaisies · 05/07/2015 23:18

I agree Apple.

People have breastfed for years but it was never as public as it is now. It really wasn't.

And even though I know that people have the right to do it, and agree that they should, I actually think the whole breast feeding brigade and forcefulness of a number of individuals actions (those going the papers every two minutes etc) is having a negative impact on breastfeeding generally (not mumsnet obviously as this doesn't represent normal public opinion).

I know many many mums now who breastfeed but can't stand to associate with that whole breastfeeding image who preach and look for opportunities to confront those who have an alternative opinion.

There are many such people who genuinely go out the way to make others feel uncomfortable or to test the reactions.

I genuinly worry that it'll go too far and the whole breastfeeding campaign will have the opposite affect of its original intentions.

SugarMiceInTheRain · 05/07/2015 23:32

Meh, I've done it. Not easy whilst pushing a trolley but preferable to the screaming I would encounter for the duration of my whole food shop otherwise. I expect most fellow shoppers would prefer me feeding the baby than having to put up with her wailing all the way round.

mrstweefromtweesville · 06/07/2015 01:34

People have breastfed for years but it was never as public as it is now. It really wasn't
My breastfeeding years were 1982 to 1986. I breastfed wherever I was, cafes, aeroplanes, church, and yes, in the supermarket with the toddler in the trolley seat feeding as we did the shopping.
I cannot imagine any breastfeeding mother thinking she'd use bfg to test the reactions of others, or to make them uncomfortable.

ungratefulfecker · 06/07/2015 01:37

No children, but I don't think I'd do that ever. Randoms seeing my nipples in the supermarket? Sounds delightful.

ungratefulfecker · 06/07/2015 01:42

Maybe with a blanket or something slung on top, but full nipple out? Noooo.

Jenny70 · 06/07/2015 03:12

I've done it (not this time!!), full load in trolley, big queue and hungry baby. Wasn't going to abandon groceries, listen to bub cry for 15+ mins in queue. My babies fed quickly and discretely, hardest bit was steering wonky trolley!!

Best multitask was at pg, feeding and on the phone when toddlergot stuck on high platform, had to climb step reach up and grab toddler with one arm, phone held by shoulder, baby still feeding. Random Dad at pg complimented me on my multitasking!

Offred · 06/07/2015 04:33

There are people who think that breastfeeding women are not aware that some ignorant people take offence at seeing breastfeeding?! Hmm

I'm with Saul yes you are free to think what you like but some thoughts are wrong and some are not. In this case it is against the law to act on thoughts of offence at seeing breastfeeding. I think that's a pretty conclusive sign of which side of the argument is the wrong one.

Plus people have explained many times the very logical reasoning that breastfeeding is appropriate to do when a baby feels hungry because it is how the baby is fed.

No-one has coherently suggested why it might be offensive to some people. Cultural reasons cannot be an answer btw when the law says it is not offensive and should be protected.

Offred · 06/07/2015 04:37

And what anyone might not do themselves or think other people should do is beyond irrelevant. The law says it is not offensive and furthermore that it is protected and discriminating against women breastfeeding is illegal. HTH.

Bambambini · 06/07/2015 06:53

Buttercups - what makes you think that this shaming of public breastfeeding isn't actually a new things. I've read articles and seen plenty of images and photos that suggest very much the opposite.

This painting from 1270 seems to suggest it was seen as perfectly natural.

breastfeeding in the supermarket
Totality22 · 06/07/2015 07:10

Personally I'd have parked the trolley up and gone somewhere I could sit down. I've been ebf for 5 months and prefer to sit down when I feed. I have no issue feeding in public though.

Weirdest place I saw was a mum feeding on top of a big slide in the park. She had gone up with her young toddler with baby clamped to her boob... all 3 of them came down slide together..... it was so bizarre but she made it look quite effortless!!!

sandgrown · 06/07/2015 07:44

Buttercups I totally agree. And with the OP. I have no issue with breastfeeding wherever and whenever but what is wrong with being discreet? Some women feeding seem to want people to challenge them . And please do not make such horrible comments about formula feeding. I was devastated when I was unable to feed my youngest child . I felt I was failing him so being told I was giving him "sub-optimal" food would have made me feel even worse. So much for supporting other mums!

Seffina · 06/07/2015 07:44

I don't feel comfortable sunbathing topless therefore it is weird and NOBODY should do it ever again. Ever. It's so attention seeking. A bit of modesty can avoid making people feel uncomfortable.

Is that how this is working? Because it makes about as much sense.

No idea how someone could think that being actually topless is better than catching a glimpse of a nipple whilst baby has a nosy during a feed.

BTW, I quite like udders. Going to start using that when I feed DS. "Just gonna whip me udders out"

ElementaryMyDear · 06/07/2015 07:49

People have breastfed for years but it was never as public as it is now. It really wasn't.

Buttercups, you do realise that women have breastfed not just for years but for hundreds of centuries, don't you? Do you imagine that they have always hidden themselves away? The reality is that it is the concept of hiding yourself away which is actually the more recent phenomenon.

Seffina · 06/07/2015 07:56

I don't think that women 100,000 years ago were worried about breastfeeding in public.

Seffina · 06/07/2015 07:58

What I mean is, I think they had bigger issues to consider than how much nipple they were showing whilst breastfeeding.

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie · 06/07/2015 08:13

When bf was the only way to feed a baby no-one batted an eye at it. Because letting babies starve is wrong, obviously. It is only since formula and bottles became popular that people thought to take offense at a mother not letting her baby go hungry just because they were in public. Convenient for the formula and bottles manufacturers eh?

Salene · 06/07/2015 08:19

YANBU I'm a mother to a 9 month old baby who I BF and I would not do this, just because I'm allowed to do doesn't mean I would or should.

It's a well known fact it makes people feel uncomfortable especially older people. Personally I think it's distasteful and a little disrespectful to others.

She could have found a quiet spot to feed her baby, her baby is not going to starve to death in the 5 mins it would take to find somewhere to feed him/her. There really is no need to walk about with your boob hanging out doing your Sunday shop.

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie · 06/07/2015 08:22

It's not a well known fact that it makes older people uncomfortable. Many older people breastfed or saw breastfeeding happen all the time.

A screaming baby in the supermarket is much more likely to make everyone uncomfortable.

ElementaryMyDear · 06/07/2015 08:34

Oh, for goodness sake, not that old standard about elderly people feeling uncomfortable. It's not a "well-known fact" at all, if anything older people tend to be more robust about it and take it completely in their stride.

Salene · 06/07/2015 08:35

Ok well I can only go on discussion I've had with "older" people and they had told me it makes them feel uncomfortable, I cannot speak for the whole British population of older people. I can only go by the info I've had and I should of just said
it make people uncomfortable , it would have made me feel uncomfortable and I'm a bf mother myself .

No need to leave a child screaming for 15 minutes. Prioritise your child over your shopping. Go sort the baby out and then return and worry about your shopping.

That's what I would do anyway. We are all entitled to our views and in my eyes There is no need to walk about with your breast hanging out feeding your baby

But each to there own.

ElementaryMyDear · 06/07/2015 08:36

And Salene, precisely where in a supermarket do you find "a quiet spot to feed your baby" without abandoning your shopping and going out? I do hope you're not suggesting she should have been fed in the loo?

ElementaryMyDear · 06/07/2015 08:38

Salene, what you are asking for is not that people prioritise their babies over their shopping. What this woman did was clearly prioritising her baby. What you are asking for is that mothers prioritise the possibility that some idiot might feel "uncomfortable" over their baby's wellbeing.

Salene · 06/07/2015 08:43

I carried a BF apron around with me, what's wrong with using one of them..??

And had I forgot it yes I would have pushed my trolley to the customer service desk ask them to watch it while I took myself & my baby off to the car to feed in peace and quiet.

But anyway I'm not going to spend all morning defending my views. As I said each to there own but OP yes I agree with you, not required.

crapfatbanana · 06/07/2015 08:51

YABU.

jetsetlil · 06/07/2015 09:13

YANBU
No objections at all about breastfeeding, I did it myself, however it can be done descreetly as other people have pointed out. Sounds like she just wanted to make a production of it most likely get thrown out so she could go straight to the media

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