WWYD Would you go and pick your OH up from work late at night?

[redgoat]

DH works shifts and car shares with another guy. Work is almost an hours' drive away. It's the other guy's turn to drive this week.

Due to traffic and delivery routes (they drive), other guys keeps getting held up so DH ends up hanging about for over an hour for him to get back to the depot.

DH had mentioned about 4.30pm about me going to get him tonight. I don't want to. We have 2 DC (11 and 7), it's Friday night, I just want to chill and veg. It also negates the petrol saving of the car share and money is tight. He won't be due to finish until about 11pm. Other guy may not get back until after midnight.

WWYD, take kids and go and get him or go to bed and make him wait. (shocked face is the closest smilie to a yawn lol)

I would say not to disturb the kids so he'll have to wait. It looks like the car share thing isn't really working if he has to wait an hour

No, I wouldn't in that situation. An hour's drive is far too far - he could make a cup of tea, sit and read and wind down after the day until his colleague arrives. If it was just 10 minutes up the road, then fair enough, but that's a long trek for you

No kids or a teen, I'd go fetch him. Dragging kids out of the house for an hour, DH wouldn't even consider asking.

I don't think it's fair to drag a 7 year old and an 11 year old out at 10pm to sit them in a car for 2 hours. If it was 10/15 mins away maybe but not an hour away.

And, thinking about it, isn't this wasting two hours time for the whole family, versus one hour for him?

No. I wouldn't put three of you through a two hour round trip to avoid him having a two hour trip (one hour wait, one travel).

If you do it then your kids are 'paying' for his one hour saving with four of theirs (plus your two).

I might without the kids if I was feeling extra nice and money wasn't an issue.

x post

no

Also if you go its 2 journeys. That's a lot of petrol as well.

MrsTerry was rather more concise than me. I went a bit economics student.

I might with no kids but I 100% wouldn't drag them out of bed to sit in a car for 2 hours.

I wouldn't probably because my dh wouldn't want me to wake up the kids and drive at that time. He would just stick the hour out. I think your dh should too.

Yours makes sense Libraries. I really like your NN.

Thanks. It is my Manics tribute (vaguely inspired by CultureSucksDownWords). And to the power of learning (if that is not too wanky).

No way. Completely unfair on the kids.

Nope, your DH basically can't be arsed to wait. It's unfair on the DC and on you. He needs to wait for his friend this time, but in the future maybe find another solution because this car share doesn't seem to be working.

What everyone else said. You're "spending" 6 hours of everyone else's time in order to save him (max) 90 minutes' hanging around. Not to mention the petrol. Put it that way to him and say "is that really what you're asking? Do you really think that's a reasonable request?"

Thank you. That's my thoughts too. Sometimes he's had to wait longer. He can be a bit "woe is me" which in my mind makes him quite selfish.

He's just phoned while I was typing and is now in a huff because I've said I'm not going to get him. He's saying he is due back in the yard about 10 and his mate is 2 hours behind him. Ah well. I'm not dragging kids out of bed to then not get home till gone 11pm. Grrrrrrrr.

He does have a knack of making me feel bad. Standing firm.

MrsTerryPratchett has nailed it.

Leave him to kick back for an hour n u do the same .

Point out the maths.

His request is six hours of time plus petrol costs to save him max two hours. That is a rubbish trade. Unless his time is worth more. ....

Nope. I wouldn't. I just wouldn't.

Not fair on anyone. Least of all you. It won't hurt him to sit back with a cup of tea for an hour or so.

An hours drive? He must be having a giraffe.

Fuck that circus. No way.

Yes I would.

Would you wake your kids up to go elderflower?