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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WWYD Would you go and pick your OH up from work late at night?

87 replies

redgoat · 03/07/2015 20:48

DH works shifts and car shares with another guy. Work is almost an hours' drive away. It's the other guy's turn to drive this week.

Due to traffic and delivery routes (they drive), other guys keeps getting held up so DH ends up hanging about for over an hour for him to get back to the depot.

DH had mentioned about 4.30pm about me going to get him tonight. I don't want to. We have 2 DC (11 and 7), it's Friday night, I just want to chill and veg. It also negates the petrol saving of the car share and money is tight. He won't be due to finish until about 11pm. Other guy may not get back until after midnight.

WWYD, take kids and go and get him or go to bed and make him wait. Shock (shocked face is the closest smilie to a yawn lol)

OP posts:
Hairylegs007 · 04/07/2015 11:04

Being woken/moved would disturb the kids and make them too exhausted the next day

Portobelly · 04/07/2015 13:42

I'd collect him. When I was a young kid my mum would bundle us into the car and drive to collect my pa, we'd sleep or look at the lights, and it felt like an adventure, something other kids didn't do.
He's working to support the family, he's tired, you can veg out before you pick him up, and he'll be happier in the morning.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 04/07/2015 13:46

It sounds like this isn't a one off occurrence so to those saying you would collect him, would you do it every time? If so wouldn't that completely negate the financial benefits of the car share?

ChipsOnChips · 04/07/2015 13:52

No way - very selfish of him to ask.

If he is not happy with his sharing arrangement then he needs to sort something else out. You know like and adult would Hmm

mommyof23kids · 04/07/2015 14:21

I would but I'm picking/dropping my dh off at the airport 45mins away at least once a week. I'm about to do it 3 times in the next 8 days. The kids never had a problem sleeping.
I'd pick him up this time and tell him to stop the car share. It's costing him at least 5 hours of his free time every week which adds up significantly over a year.

tilliebob · 04/07/2015 14:28

I've done similar plenty of times. Kids thought it was an adventure going out at night to get Daddy. Now they are older I can leave eldest DS in charge of smallest, but I'd still go and pick up DH just as he'd come and get me if I asked.

Hairylegs007 · 04/07/2015 20:21

Mommy - it's also costing the kids and wife an hour of their lives - so three hours in total compared to just the one hour of DH waiting.

Hairylegs007 · 04/07/2015 20:23

My kids would be a mess the next day if they did this

LibrariesGaveUsPower · 04/07/2015 20:26

Hairy - six actually. They are going there and back for no reason. He always had to do the one hour journey so is just gaining the wait.

Hairylegs007 · 04/07/2015 20:27

Nightmare!

Hairylegs007 · 04/07/2015 20:28

And the extra unessessary petrol costs. And the fact he will ask again and again if OP does it once.

Beth2511 · 04/07/2015 20:36

I would say no! Before DD was here I'd go and pick him if he'd had a particularly rubbish shift or the weather was awful but otherwise he cycles the 90 minute ride. Now DD is here I've got him once in 7 months when it was an emergancy!

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