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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WWYD Would you go and pick your OH up from work late at night?

87 replies

redgoat · 03/07/2015 20:48

DH works shifts and car shares with another guy. Work is almost an hours' drive away. It's the other guy's turn to drive this week.

Due to traffic and delivery routes (they drive), other guys keeps getting held up so DH ends up hanging about for over an hour for him to get back to the depot.

DH had mentioned about 4.30pm about me going to get him tonight. I don't want to. We have 2 DC (11 and 7), it's Friday night, I just want to chill and veg. It also negates the petrol saving of the car share and money is tight. He won't be due to finish until about 11pm. Other guy may not get back until after midnight.

WWYD, take kids and go and get him or go to bed and make him wait. Shock (shocked face is the closest smilie to a yawn lol)

OP posts:
Raasay · 03/07/2015 21:41

I used to go and get him from a city an hour away at 3am pre kids (to be fair he'd do it for me too).

As soon as kids arrived the rule became drive or get the last train.

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/07/2015 21:42

Not wanky at all Libraries well a bit but I like wanky so I don't care.

Good for you redgoat. Can't he MN while he waits like I would? Grin

LibrariesGaveUsPower · 03/07/2015 21:45

Grin MrsTerryPratchet

elderfloweriver · 03/07/2015 21:45

Yes.

LibrariesGaveUsPower · 03/07/2015 21:48

I'm quite surprised that anyone would wake up the kids to spend two hours in the car. It's not as if they are tiny babies who go straight back to sleep (if you have good sleepers).

CrispyFern · 03/07/2015 21:50

I probably would if it was pre-children.
There's no way I'd get a 7 and 11 yr old out of bed!

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/07/2015 21:51

I'd love to know why, elder. Why is his time and convenience worth more than OP's, and two kids'? Also, kids need sleep. It's very important.

BigRedBall · 03/07/2015 21:51

Well we do this occasionally but DH is 20mins away. As it happens we're waiting until 10pm today to go and pick up DH. All my children are awake (7, 3 and 1), and we've been promised an icecream on the way home. Obviously I have days where I cba and wouldn't leave the house at this hour with small kids but its summer. If you don't want to go then don't.

VixxFace · 03/07/2015 21:52

I'd go get. yabu

elderfloweriver · 03/07/2015 21:53

Terry's, because I guess it's been a long day for him, it's late, it's a weekend and the kids would be able to have a lie in, but must honestly because he'd do it for me unquestioningly.

WhereYouLeftIt · 03/07/2015 21:54

Pour a sleepy/newly awakened 7 and 11 year olds into a car at 10pm so that they can be in that car for TWO HOURS just to then be poured back into their beds Confused?

I'd be doing my damnedest to make him see how selfish he is being here.

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/07/2015 21:58

elder I would never ask DH to wake a sleeping child for anything except an emergency. He wouldn't ask me. I may be biased because my DD doesn't sleep in but DH could.

elderfloweriver · 03/07/2015 21:59

You don't have to do it then but the thread asked us all if we would and I would.

NurNochKurzDieWeltRetten · 03/07/2015 22:02

Do kuds lie in? Mine don't.

I would if it was an emergency (his lift had gone home sick broken down and he had no actual transport home) - or maybe pre kids or when they're old enough not to be bothered waking in the night with no adult in the house... Just two adults it's got a sort of novelty road trip value. But not to save him an hour's wait - it's taking the pies to ask when there are kids that age in the equation in the middle of the night. I certainly wouldn't ask or want my DH to do that for me.

pamish · 03/07/2015 22:03

Doesn't he have any books? Or if not, take a TV. Being unable to find a good use for a spare hour is really sad.

LibrariesGaveUsPower · 03/07/2015 22:04

kids lie in.Shock Shock Shock Shock

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/07/2015 22:04

True. I suppose I'm just shocked that someone would put his comfort and convenience ahead of his spouse and children's.

BTW I am picking DH up today from work. I would absolutely put myself out, and do regularly, to ferry DH around. But never at the expense of DD.

elderfloweriver · 03/07/2015 22:04

the kids aren't toddlers Hmm

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/07/2015 22:07

Neither is the DH Grin

elderfloweriver · 03/07/2015 22:07

Absolutely - but older children do lie in, was what I meant!

Honestly, they do!

LibrariesGaveUsPower · 03/07/2015 22:08

My kids are younger but I know a lot of 9 year olds. They don't lie in. I know my brother and I were teens before we did (esp in high summer). it's not as if everyone but toddlers lays in. Hmm

MsVestibule · 03/07/2015 22:08

No, I wouldn't. My DCs (6 and 8) were up late after a school show last night so I volunteered to collect DH from a train station 10 minutes away at 10pm and I thought that was amazingly good of me. No way would he even think to ask me to do a two hour round trip with them at that time of night unless it was absolutely essential.

elderflower fair enough that you would, the OP did ask for opinions!

elderfloweriver · 03/07/2015 22:09

My 8 year old does if he is tired. Not for hours and hours but they don't get up at the crack of dawn either.

BathshebaDarkstone · 03/07/2015 22:09

Is there any other way he can get home?

Fluffy40 · 03/07/2015 22:10

Only in an emergency , it's not as though tomorrow's a school day.

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