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Original poster

Sex ed - shaving legs in year 5

700 replies

Candycoco · 02/07/2015 23:24

Have posted in education but posting here for traffic.

Dd came home from school today having had sex ed at school for the past 2 days.

I've always been very open with her and have answered questions as they've come up, so no big revelations this week.

However, she told me today that the boys were taught how to shave by male teacher, and girls were taught how to shave their legs. This just doesn't sit right with me. I know 99% of women do shave their legs and it's something I've already talked to dd about as she asked me last year about it and I told her she has to wait til end of year 6 before she starts secondary to do it.

I just feel it's a bit presumptuous and suggests all girls should. Maybe I'm being bit uptight about it but I don't like the message it sends. Is this normal to teach this as park of sex ed?

Thanks

OP posts:
SeeChooJimmy · 03/07/2015 12:02

I don't think teaching them how to shave properly promotes bullying or teasing, its ensuring them that when they are ready to start hair removal they can do so safely, just because you teach them how to shave does not mean they have to start straight away does it same as sex ed does not mean now they know about it they are ready to go start having sex.

cailindana · 03/07/2015 12:02

Worra, who has said girls should be told not to shave?

WorraLiberty · 03/07/2015 12:06

Read the bold part of my last post cailindana

not the teased to change themselves

I didn't say anyone has said girls should be told not to shave?

But some people in RL do feel that they shouldn't.

TheoriginalLEM · 03/07/2015 12:10

Sex Ed in year 5???? Shock My DD is in year 5 and there has been no such thing (thank God!) There is plenty of time for that

TheoriginalLEM · 03/07/2015 12:13

WEll not having rtft I am saying that girls as young as year 5 should most definately told not to shave. Are we really REALLY ok with this? I don't shave my legs, nor do i shave under my arms - Im 45 years old and this has never caused me a problem. If you have a problem with that, well then thats your problem not mine.

cailindana · 03/07/2015 12:13

Are you saying your daughter has had no sex ed LEM?

WorraLiberty · 03/07/2015 12:13

LEM no-one has been told to shave.

WorraLiberty · 03/07/2015 12:17

Sorry I misread your post.

So you're actually saying that they should be told NOT to shave, and that it's perfectly ok to dismiss their feelings, because it's never caused you a problem personally?

You sound a bit like my Mum, which is why I butchered my legs with my Dad's razor.

Notso · 03/07/2015 12:18

I started growing breasts, getting spots and needing deodorant in year 5 TheoriginalLEM I started my periods at the end of year 6 and having sexual contact in year 7. So no, there is not always 'plenty of time for that'.
I needed sex education, but got virtually none.

Idontseeanydragons · 03/07/2015 12:19

Surely being told that this is what happens to their body at a certain age and they can choose to do something about it if they want to can only be a good thing?

Notso · 03/07/2015 12:20

Oh and I started shaving my arms and legs at age 5 after several weeks of being called ape arms.

TheoriginalLEM · 03/07/2015 12:23

No, she hasn't - i would have assumed this would have been something that would have been taught in secondary school. I am going to ask at the school today. I am more than happy and capable of answering any questions she might have about her body but if sex education talks about shaving legs im rather glad she isn't having it! Sexual contact in year 7 isn't normal, that is abuse - that is about having the right to say no to inappropriate touching. not sex ed.

TheoriginalLEM · 03/07/2015 12:23

Well worra, you should have listened to your mum then shouldnt you!! everyone knows you should be waxing not shaving ;)

ouryve · 03/07/2015 12:25

I'm pretty meh about shaving and probably wouldn't bother if I wasn't fair with thick black hair - as it is I only shave in summer and I've invested in a Lumea to get rid of the 5 o'clock shadow I inevitably spend most of the summer with.

That said, I have no problem with 10 year old girls being told that it's an option and how to do it safely.

I also think that showing boys how to shave is absolutely relevant. If they have a bearded father or no father around, then they're not going to see it being done. And while some cultures don't shave, WASP culture does and most boys aren't blessed with facial hair they really want to cultivate for a few years.

We're currently trying to get our 11yo into using deodorant. He has ASD and needs a lot of help with basic hygiene, as it is, and isn't impressed with the newly necessary addition to his evening routine.

WorraLiberty · 03/07/2015 12:27

LEM, having sexual contact in year 7 might not be 'normal' (though I think that's arguable)

But it does happen so kids should be equipped with all the relevant facts imo.

ouryve · 03/07/2015 12:28

LEM, my 11 year old boy is well into puberty already. I started my periods at just turned 11 and the little talk about periods we had when I was 13 was far too late.

5madthings · 03/07/2015 12:29

I think it depends how I have done, I don't want shaving to be something anyone feels they have to do, but bring taught hoe to do it safely is good, as long as it's with context about bodily changes and general good hygiene and how you nay want to do this and if you do here is how to do it safely. Rather than girls shave their legs because they must.

I plan on making sure my dd k own how to do it and I hope we will have the kind of relationship where we can talk about this stuff. I do with my older kids and though dd is only four she already knows the basics of how an egg grows into a baby after a sperm joins it,because she asked. She knows ladies have eggs in their tummy and men have sperm in their balls... She found it funny to think he brothers gave them. But she hadn't asked how the sperm get into the lady... Yet. But then I am pretty matter if fact with my kids, we discuss stuff as it comes up and are open about it in an age appropriate way. I would far rather I explain it than they hear it in the playground!

pinkfrocks · 03/07/2015 12:29

Oh and I started shaving my arms and legs at age 5 after several weeks of being called ape arms

OMG- your parents let you loose with a razor when you were 5 years old?????

5madthings · 03/07/2015 12:33

Sex ed isn't just about Sex though, it's about the changes of puberty, healthy relationships and yrs about informed and enthusiastic consent. Teaching Sex ed is not going to make kids have Sex, but not teaching them means if or when they start experimenting they won't have the knowledge to stay safe. It's basic biology and it's really important kids have a clear understanding of how their bodies work.

ouryve · 03/07/2015 12:33

And while my mum did bury her head in the sand about my leg hair, simply because hers had never needed much attention, I was glad that she showed me how to convert my eyebrow into a nice tidy pair.

TheoriginalLEM · 03/07/2015 12:40

This is something that my mother never taught me ouryve - i have never forgiven her for this and have spent my life looking like ted heath (is it ted heath with the big eye brows?) whatever, its not a good look.

Surely shaving young is to be discouraged though - just from the point of view that once you start you really can't stop.

lovetomatoes · 03/07/2015 13:06

I doubt you'd cut "lumps" out of your legs with an imperfect shaving method. It's not a real safety issue. I'm sure lots of the girls would appreciate the lesson, just like they'd appreciate one on applying fake-tan, but that's not what school is for, not even sex-ed class.

I don't see the point of showing them any kind of "products". Why would the teacher feel this is necessary? Is this what adulthood is? A new kind of consumerism? Kids can see cans of deodorant on the supermarket shelves and if they're in the unlikely position of never having seen a tampon, they could buy a box quite cheaply. I do agree with warning girls about their correct use; if the teacher wanted to bring some in to make the lesson more memorable I'd suggest bringing a few different ones with all brand-identifying packaging removed.

For most of us removing the hair from our legs is so normal that it just seems part of routine maintenance, like brushing our teeth, but it isn't. It's an aesthetic choice with no biological/functional reason.

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 03/07/2015 13:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cailindana · 03/07/2015 13:13

FWIW Need I don't think the school should be teaching the boys how to shave either, purely because there are more important things to teach in sex ed.

The issue with teaching girls how to shave is that it then normalises it as something expected - if a girl doesn't want to shave and goes into school with hairy legs she's likely to get more comments and teasing from a class that's been shown how to shave (and so consider it a 'normal' thing to do) than from a class that hasn't been shown how to shave (and who don't necessarily talk about it yet).

Notso · 03/07/2015 13:24

pinkfrocks I consistently got in to trouble for doing it until I was about 13. Weirdly though I knew how to shave because I was allowed to shave my Dad's chin when we shared a bath from about 3 or 4 so yes they let me loose with a razor but not on myself Confused

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