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Original poster

Sex ed - shaving legs in year 5

700 replies

Candycoco · 02/07/2015 23:24

Have posted in education but posting here for traffic.

Dd came home from school today having had sex ed at school for the past 2 days.

I've always been very open with her and have answered questions as they've come up, so no big revelations this week.

However, she told me today that the boys were taught how to shave by male teacher, and girls were taught how to shave their legs. This just doesn't sit right with me. I know 99% of women do shave their legs and it's something I've already talked to dd about as she asked me last year about it and I told her she has to wait til end of year 6 before she starts secondary to do it.

I just feel it's a bit presumptuous and suggests all girls should. Maybe I'm being bit uptight about it but I don't like the message it sends. Is this normal to teach this as park of sex ed?

Thanks

OP posts:
NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 03/07/2015 13:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LaurieJuspeczyk · 03/07/2015 13:28

I'm with Worra on everything apart from sci-fi. I never butchered my legs, thankfully, but I was 18 before I found out (by chance) that I'd been doing it wrong my whole life, so some guidance would definitely have been appreciated! And my mother did act like I was stupid for worrying about it - she is generally fab but very much takes the view that anything vaguely fashion-related is pointless and people who conform to society's ideals are idiots - so no use asking for help there.

I have blonde leg hair and go out without shaving it all the time because I'm lazy and don't really give a shit, but it would have been nice to have felt comfortable doing it when I was a teenager. In fact I'm in my 20s and I've only just started having the confidence to go out wearing make-up and nice clothes, without worrying that everyone's secretly laughing at me for trying to look nice when I clearly don't know what I'm doing Sad So personally I would actually have liked guidance in a lot of things like shaving, make-up etc when I was younger.

Tizwailor · 03/07/2015 13:28

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LaurieJuspeczyk · 03/07/2015 13:28

Not that I'm saying schools should be teaching girls how to do make-up! Just that it would have been good for me personally.

LaurieJuspeczyk · 03/07/2015 13:30

Brushing our hair is also an aesthetic choice rather than a hygiene one, is that different from shaving? I feel like it is, but I'm not sure why.

SeeChooJimmy · 03/07/2015 13:44

I think surely its better to equip them with the know how of shaving, eyebrows even make up too so that if or when they choose to do such things they actually know what they are doing. I can see peoples points of view on the fact it should be a personal choice as it should, but not teaching them because you personally don't shave and it doesn't cause you any problems it taking away the choice from them too. I would much rather my daughters are well informed and educated on all these things and able to make an informed decision, as was the case when they both started to shave and have eyebrows shaped.

JohnFarleysRuskin · 03/07/2015 13:46

It's not schools place to teach young girls how society expects women to look.

Teabagbeforemilk · 03/07/2015 13:46

Really confused by people who don't venture out without shaving their legs. I do it and where shorts and never heard or noticed anyone giving a shit about my legs

JohnFarleysRuskin · 03/07/2015 13:47

You want schools to teach girls how to put their make up on?

Fuck that!

Notso · 03/07/2015 13:49

I don't see shaving as any different to wearing deodorant. Not many people would bat an eyelid at a 10 year old wearing deodorant even though sweat and it's odour is perfectly natural.

LEM it may not be the norm to have sex in year 7 but it happens and I was most certainly not abused at that time. Having been in a sexually abusive relationship some years later I feel quite angry that you have suggested otherwise.

LaurieJuspeczyk · 03/07/2015 13:54

I think wearing deodorant is different as if you smell it's actively unpleasant for people around you. Although I agree that from a self-consciousness point of view it's probably similar.

ChloeMTurner77 · 03/07/2015 14:32

I rarely defuzz as I'm disabled so it's awkward. I plan to tell my daughter that hair removal is her choice but also to be aware that people will comment/bully if she chooses not to.

Micah · 03/07/2015 15:04

I plan to tell my daughter that hair removal is her choice but also to be aware that people will comment/bully if she chooses not to.

So you're telling her her choice is to remove her hair, or be bullied.

Hmm, wonder which she'll choose.

I will tell mine it's her choice. End of. I have taught them right from tiny if anyone teases or bullies them, it's the bullies issue and its them that needs to change. Not her.

If they do get bullied, I will help them deal with the bullies. Not seek ways in which they can change. Because the bullies will just find something else, or find another victim.

pinkfrocks · 03/07/2015 17:03

I do wonder if something was 'lost in translation' OP ?
I doubt your DD was taught how to shave her legs.
My guess is that she has used the word taught for something that was mentioned in passing.

An over-zealous and maybe insensitive teacher could easily have said that at puberty, boys start to shave and (not to let girls feel left out) mentioned the 'equivalent ' ( which it's not) of shaving their legs.

It could be just something that was mentioned in passing by an inexperienced teacher, who maybe thinks that leg hair in women is the same sign of puberty as in men and he didn't want to talk more any more about periods and pubic hair.

You just don't know- but I do know only too well that what is said in the classroom can be changed ever so slightly once it's repeated at home by a young child.

NobodyLivesHere · 03/07/2015 17:24

I would, and in fact do, allow my girls aged 8 and 11 to pluck their eyebrows. I do it for them.

exLtEveDallasNoBollocks · 03/07/2015 17:33

DD has watched me pluck my eyebrows, and do her dads monobrow - he's even let her loose on him with the tweasers Grin. She has commented a couple of times that she wishes her eyebrows were like her sisters (professional eagle wing things) so I expect she will want to do hers soon. I won't stop her, although I will take her to a salon the first time so they can get them 'right' and DD can then just tidy them as and when she needs to.

Again I don't see the issue. It's DDs body, DDs choice. All I will do will make it easier/safer when she wants to do these things.

kali110 · 03/07/2015 19:31

I wouldn't have a problem with it. My mother did not teach me ( nor would i have asked her!!) how to shave my legs so those first few months were not pleasant!!

Original poster
Candycoco · 03/07/2015 19:45

All of you saying you were never taught to shave and hacked your legs to bits. Come on really ..?

I was never taught and managed to work it out myself. A combination of speaking to friends, just seventeen magazine in the 90s and trial and error was all it took. Really don't see how it's something schools need to be talking about.

OP posts:
Foogy · 03/07/2015 20:05

That's not sex ed!! Although if it was a passing comment it's no big deal...but you said they actually demonstrated it Shock. My friend once went ballistic when her daughter came home and said the teacher had told them not to wear knickers in bed, but the teacher was talking about thrush. Friend did not like it still!

exLtEveDallasNoBollocks · 03/07/2015 20:11

All of you saying you were never taught to shave and hacked your legs to bits. Come on really

It's not a great pic, but this is the back of my right leg, just above my ankle. I hacked a one inch chunk out of my leg when I was 11. It bled for ages and the scar is because I was too scared to tell my mum what I had done. IIRC it took a couple of months to heal.

So yeah. Really

Sex ed - shaving legs in year 5
elementofsurprise · 03/07/2015 20:14

Candycoco That's what I thought! I was never 'shown' how to shave my legs but figured it out. I did cut myself a few times but that's because it took practice like anything does - not anything someone could have shown me. I'm not actually sure how I knew how to do it, my mum didn't shave... hmm.

The way people are talking about it shows how ingrained the idea of women having smooth legs is. "They can do something about it if they want" etc. As if there's something there that needs doing, rather than an optional, non-natural extra!

It is different from boys being taught how to shave - although that raises questions too - because in the main, only boys grow full beards they may want to shave off. Both boys and girls have leg hair - and actually, boys in general have thicker, darker, more obvious leg hair - yet only the girls are being shown how to shave it off. That is sexist.

CherylBerylMeryl · 03/07/2015 20:17

This reply has been deleted

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fredfredgeorgejnr · 03/07/2015 20:19

When I was a teenager, I used to burn hair away with matches / lighters, being taught about hair removal options would've welcome, although I'm not sure what options there were in the 80's compared to now.

Parents and their Children are often not the best people to talk to about all these issues, especially ones where embarrassment / normality is concerned and potentially not recognised by the other group.

And men, even ones well over 30 do not only shave their faces, lots of other hair removal etc. happens for a whole variety of reasons.

elementofsurprise · 03/07/2015 20:19

NoBollocks Wow. I just can't understand how you did that though! Maybe I'd had the sharpness of blades drummed into me loads or something? Actually I was always quite arty/craftsy so maybe had a more precise touch? Hmm.

exLtEveDallasNoBollocks · 03/07/2015 20:24

Why do people keep saying the girls were "shown how to do it" - the OPs own words were Female teacher talked about shaving against the growth etc but didn't actually do it

So she talked about it.
She didn't say anyone had to do it.
She mentioned it briefly

Getting this upset about something - especially when you are basing it on something a 10 year old told you happened, and you could have gone in and had the same talk prior, but chose not to, is more than bloody ridiculous. It's bordering on the hysterical.

Posters are getting worked up over something that almost certainly didn't even happen Grin

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