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Original poster

Sex ed - shaving legs in year 5

700 replies

Candycoco · 02/07/2015 23:24

Have posted in education but posting here for traffic.

Dd came home from school today having had sex ed at school for the past 2 days.

I've always been very open with her and have answered questions as they've come up, so no big revelations this week.

However, she told me today that the boys were taught how to shave by male teacher, and girls were taught how to shave their legs. This just doesn't sit right with me. I know 99% of women do shave their legs and it's something I've already talked to dd about as she asked me last year about it and I told her she has to wait til end of year 6 before she starts secondary to do it.

I just feel it's a bit presumptuous and suggests all girls should. Maybe I'm being bit uptight about it but I don't like the message it sends. Is this normal to teach this as park of sex ed?

Thanks

OP posts:
helenahandbag · 03/07/2015 11:00

I started shaving my legs at 10 or 11, they were really hairy and I was mortified. Nobody taught me how to do it, my mum just bought me a blue sparkly Gillette razor and left me to it so I would have appreciated some guidance!

My mum taught me to pluck my eyebrows properly when I was 12. I don't see these things as trying to look "sexy" or good for anyone else, I was self conscious so having nice brows and smooth legs made me feel better about myself.

cailindana · 03/07/2015 11:01

For clarity: I and most other feminists would never criticise any woman for shaving her legs, plucking her eyebrows, having breast augmentation, whatever. What an individual woman does to her own body is entirely her own business.

What feminism looks at is why these practices exist. Why do women shave their legs? Why do young girls feel ashamed of perfectly normal hair? Why do women undergo dangerous and invasive and possibly lethal and unnecessary surgery to have bigger breasts?

CherylBerylMeryl · 03/07/2015 11:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Teabagbeforemilk · 03/07/2015 11:04

What lesson would be plucking eyebrows and high heels be taught in.

Because from I can gather they were also talking about deodorant and grooming, as were the boys.

You fear they were told they should shave. But your words also say that they were told they don't have to. So your fears are unfounded

Original poster
Candycoco · 03/07/2015 11:06

I've never heard of any primary aged pupil plucking their eyebrows. I have nieces and never heard it from them either. I didn't do my eyebrows until secondary school and neither did any of my friends.

I think it's inappropriate for a teacher to be talking about that with 9 & 10 year olds. That's a discussion they need to have with their parent. I wouldn't be happy if my daughters teacher was talking about that with her.

OP posts:
Original poster
Candycoco · 03/07/2015 11:08

So why mention it at all teabag? For those girls who hadn't even considered shaving they'll have gone home thinking that they need to shave their legs because school brought it up and being conscious of their normal, hair-free child legs.

How is this related to sex ed was my original question?!

OP posts:
ghostyslovesheep · 03/07/2015 11:08

Worra why deny our daughters the feminist warrior queen that is Ripley? will no one think of the children!!!!!

ghostyslovesheep · 03/07/2015 11:10

Calin with the best will in the world and said with love and a touch of humour you do come across a bit as the 'only feminist in the village' Grin

I have been an active and campaigning feminist for 33 years - sorry I am genuinely not having a pop it just made me smile x

Keep fighting xxx

elderfloweriver · 03/07/2015 11:11

The problem is that girls in particular reach physical maturity quite quickly and things we may not have thought about until secondary school are now an issue by year 5 (bras, periods) and body hair is part of that.

My mum taught me nothing.

I won't make that mistake with my daughters.

CherylBerylMeryl · 03/07/2015 11:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Candycoco · 03/07/2015 11:18

Cheryl who are you to judge if child has unruly eyebrows or not! What unearth as that got to do with your role as teacher? Wow.

Call their mother and talk to them. Don't promote hair removal with a 9 year old

OP posts:
Kaekae · 03/07/2015 11:20

I am really open with my children too but this doesn't seem right to me either. I would want to be discussing things like this with my daughter anyway. My DS has recently had SE in year 3 and there were some words in a video he watched that made me feel very uncomfortable because he is only 7. Just feels like some of the decisions are forced upon and rushed.

cailindana · 03/07/2015 11:24

Ghost you were the one who pointed out your model friend was a feminist, which comes across as exactly the same thing as what I said, ie that what you do in your life doesn't preclude you from being a feminist, so I'm not sure what the patronising "only feminist in the village" bollocks is about.

CherylBerylMeryl · 03/07/2015 11:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Teabagbeforemilk · 03/07/2015 11:28

Why not mention it though? Shaving legs is part of most women's routines. I only shave mine once a week at most and s wear shorts with hairy legs. I couldn't give a shit what people think.

They were talking about personal grooming boys were shown how to shave their face girls were told how to shave their legs. Not told they have to shave their legs.

Do you expect a long drawn out discussion on which deodorant to use and natural alternatives, in detail.

Why so much angst that some girls may have thought it meant they had to shave their legs. I am sure some boys in the class will someday have a beard.

You don't know exactly what was said or the tone. For all you know all the girls in the class cpdbhave come away knowing they don't have to shave their legs.

You are making a huge issue out of something based on your assumption that some girls may have felt a particular way, from a conversation you didn't hear

Teabagbeforemilk · 03/07/2015 11:29

Where has Cheryl judges the child for unruly eyebrows?

Original poster
Candycoco · 03/07/2015 11:32

Ok then teabag. Clearly other posters feel the same so I'm not making a huge deal out of nothing. That's your opinion.

Cheryl I can imagine the hilarity but at first you said I talk to girls about their eyebrows... It's no different to leg hair. You presented it in a different way at first.

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 03/07/2015 11:39

I'm another who had a mum who didn't shave and told me I didn't need to conform even though I wanted to. Guess what? Stole dad's razor and butchered my legs.

I cannot believe things have changed so much in 20 years that every mum discusses and guides their daughters with shaving. Yes, it's shit people feel the need to conform but my daughter is not going to feel like an outcast like I did just to prove a point.

WorraLiberty · 03/07/2015 11:46

I think it's inappropriate for a teacher to be talking about that with 9 & 10 year olds. That's a discussion they need to have with their parent. I wouldn't be happy if my daughters teacher was talking about that with her.

Again with the parent thing

Not all parents will entertain these conversations with their children. They hide their heads in the sand and pretend because it doesn't matter to them, it doesn't matter to their children.

cailindana · 03/07/2015 11:46

Absolutely no one on this thread has talked about girls being outcasts to prove a point NerrSnerr.

Micah · 03/07/2015 11:52

So how do I deal with my DD who may want to shave her legs, but can't?
(no hair removal at all. I won't post reasons as it would out me)

Of course kids are going to want to shave to fit in. Who wants to stand out and be teased? But even if everyone shaves their legs, there'll be something else to be teased about. Where does it stop, keep on changing yourself?

I saw a 3 year old being teased in the park about her hairy back by a bunch of 11 year olds.

Victim blaming again. Tell the teasers (bullies) not to tease (bully), not the teased to change themselves.

SeeChooJimmy · 03/07/2015 11:53

I think its extremely sensible thing to teach them and will save a few accidents. both my daughters shave their legs and my oldest shaves her underarms, both also get their eyebrows shaped and plucked every other week, they are 10 and 12. they asked and we agreed. I fail to see that shaving is making yourself sexy!! shaving is just part of our grooming routine like washing our hair, using moisturiser imo. people on mn get so uptight about the little things in life, there must be some very uptight stressed out people.

cailindana · 03/07/2015 11:56

I think most normal parents get stressed at a situation where their children will be teased or made to feel ashamed of a normal part of their body SeeChoo.

WorraLiberty · 03/07/2015 11:59

Victim blaming again. Tell the teasers (bullies) not to tease (bully), not the teased to change themselves

I would tell the teased that they don't have to change themselves.

But if they truly want to, then that's ok too as no-one has the right to dismiss their feelings, and tell them that they must not.

Micah · 03/07/2015 12:02

shaving is just part of our grooming routine like washing our hair, using moisturiser imo.

I really wish it wasn't though! I'd love to be able to go out au natural and not be stared at or commented on. Hairy armpits should be as normal as non hairy.

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