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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Sex ed - shaving legs in year 5

700 replies

Candycoco · 02/07/2015 23:24

Have posted in education but posting here for traffic.

Dd came home from school today having had sex ed at school for the past 2 days.

I've always been very open with her and have answered questions as they've come up, so no big revelations this week.

However, she told me today that the boys were taught how to shave by male teacher, and girls were taught how to shave their legs. This just doesn't sit right with me. I know 99% of women do shave their legs and it's something I've already talked to dd about as she asked me last year about it and I told her she has to wait til end of year 6 before she starts secondary to do it.

I just feel it's a bit presumptuous and suggests all girls should. Maybe I'm being bit uptight about it but I don't like the message it sends. Is this normal to teach this as park of sex ed?

Thanks

OP posts:

LassUnparalleled · 09/07/2015 22:20

Lass you don't agree with feminism. We get it. I don't know why you post so much on these threads.

I agree women should have equal rights. I am pro-choice and anti-porn. I don't call myself a feminist because of the sort of nonsense that gets spouted on threads like this.

I also happen to be a woman who is very successful in what used to be a male dominated sector I am as entitled to my opinions and to post on MN as you are.

rabbitstew · 09/07/2015 22:30

But cailindana, now you just appear to be making a mountain out of a stubble hill. You don't have to have sex if you don't want to have babies, or don't want to risk having babies. Either way, you do get taught the mechanics of it and how to do it if you don't want a baby to result from it. So, you could say you are being taught something that some people strongly believe to be unnecessary, and that society is pressurising us into believing that to have sex without wanting to procreate is what we are all supposed to do. Why on earth you think it is harmful to talk about leg shaving when the only consequences if it is done properly are a bit of stubble, but is not harmful to talk about trying to avoid the natural consequences of sex, when, whichever means you use, no method is infallible? Sex without wanting to procreate could be seen as unnecessary, just as shaving can. On the one hand, you accept that people will indulge in risky behaviours regardless of whether or not you talk about them, and on the other, you are worried about talking openly about shaving your legs, in case that's catching, when even if it is, catching a case of stubble is not going to kill you. not talking about it is not going to reduce the number of people who do it.

cailindana · 09/07/2015 22:31

So do you think schools should cover everything that might be associated with sexuality math - pubic grooming, dildos, etc?

cailindana · 09/07/2015 22:35

I have no interest in reducing the number of people who shave rabbit.

rabbitstew · 09/07/2015 22:36

Then why the horror of talking about it in school?

cailindana · 09/07/2015 22:38

Because there are better things for school to teach and because schools are promoting it as the norm.

rabbitstew · 09/07/2015 22:39

Like it or not, you've already agreed it is the norm.

cailindana · 09/07/2015 22:40

Yes, and school is promoting it, which I don't agree with.

rabbitstew · 09/07/2015 22:44

Accepting it is the norm and promoting it are two different things. I don't believe that talking about why people do things and showing them how to do them safely is promoting them, just accepting that they will do them and if they have to, they ought to do them safely.

cailindana · 09/07/2015 22:46

I don't agree.

Catsize · 09/07/2015 22:49

I have no interest in reducing the number of people who shave rabbit

But what about hare??

rabbitstew · 09/07/2015 22:52

So, you believe that teachers are promoting the idea that people should have sex when they don't want to procreate, not just accepting it is inevitable that they will because it's what people do?

mrsmootoo · 09/07/2015 22:53

Tricky this. I am very hairy and hated my teenage (shaving) years. After years of waxing it is now quite manageable and I use an epilator. I paid for DD1 and DD2 (also quite hairy) to have their legs waxed as quite young teenagers and promised it would be worth it in the long run - even bought them epilators for in between waxing. However they couldn't bear to wait and all their friends are shaving so that's what they do they'll be sorry one day and wish they'd listened to me anyway, given that most girls do shave I suppose it doesn't hurt to be told about it. I hope that none of the objectors are those fairskinned people who have nothing to worry about! But YANBU that Year 5 is too young.

LassUnparalleled · 09/07/2015 22:53

I have no interest in reducing the number of people who shave rabbit

No just insisting that women who do, don't, or can't ,think about why they do. You have no idea if they do or not. By "you" a certain type of feminist not "you" personally.

Reading this thread I'd say quite a lot of posters did think about it and decided shaving is no big deal. That however seems from "your" (again meaning a certain type of feminist, not you personally) view not to be good enough.

Perhaps you can tell all the non-thinkers what the appropriate length and frequency of thinking about this is ?

Is it every time one shaves? Or when legs come out of their winter hibernation? Or can I park it with other things I thought about decades ago such as being pro-choice, anti-death penalty, not believing in God. I could analyse all of them till the cows come home- not going to change my mind.

Lurkedforever1 · 09/07/2015 22:55

Actually cailia I'd say the pressure to conform for your children, or in your household is far more and any decision a child or teen takes is more likely to be preconditioned by your influence, than any decision my child makes. I think it's highly unlikely any teen, let alone preteen or child would want to do anything or express an interest in anything you as their mother would view to be conforming to society as a whole, or gender expected behavior. And by the very action of bringing a child up under the mantra of thou shalt not conform, you forget they are conforming with your expected behaviors.

cailindana · 09/07/2015 22:58

Do you think recreational sex and shaving are similar rabbit?

rabbitstew · 09/07/2015 22:59

Yes - they have both become societal norms.

cailindana · 09/07/2015 23:03

I have no interest in preventing my children from conforming Lurked. I shave, my DD will likely shave. It'll be up to them what they want to do. I'm interested to know though why you think I'll have such influence over my children when you feel you have so little influence over yours?

cailindana · 09/07/2015 23:07

So do you think our ancestors never had recreational sex rabbit?

rabbitstew · 09/07/2015 23:12

So you think our ancestors never shaved their legs? I think the ancient Egyptians were quite keen on being hair free.

Lurkedforever1 · 09/07/2015 23:12

Because you implied my daughter only decided to shave because of my influence, when I strongly believe it was her personal choice. Although for the record it was/is hair removal cream for her

rabbitstew · 09/07/2015 23:13

Tbh, I don't think most women who shave their legs mourn the loss of their beautiful hairiness. I don't know many women who find hairy legs to be beautiful, and those who do have hairy legs.

cailindana · 09/07/2015 23:13

The desire to have sex is something that develops at puberty and always has done. I don't think a particular desire to shave has been identified in humans.

rabbitstew · 09/07/2015 23:14

Our ancestors also wore jewellery and combed their hair.

cailindana · 09/07/2015 23:14

So Lurked, you say your DD made an entirely free choice but my children won't. Why?

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