People who are doing it WRONG

[GloGirl]

My Dad loves to talk about how he enjoys a good barbecue in this weather, once he even invited a lot of family round for one.

His version of a BBQ is a George Formby grill (natch), and in nice weather he plugs it in outside to cook a burger or sausage on. He is quite evangelical about how clever it is to barbecue that way.

It gives me the gritted teeth rage.

Anyone else who is doing it ALL WRONG? Offload here

My very last post on BBQs. My comments come from growing up in the "Deep South" in the country. Doesn't mean my view of BBQ is "right" just means I've been to a lot of them. And many people around the world would consider them the classic scenario for BBQ.

Let me paint the picture:
We "assemble" for the BBQ on a friend's 1,000+ ranch. The men have been hunting a couple of days before. They've shot a couple of wild hogs and maybe a deer. The animals have been hung on a tree, gutted, bled out, then butchered. A ranch hand spends all day lovingly BBQing the meat on a huge BBQ which is on wheels and pulled into place by a pick up truck so big it looks like it eats Range Rover Vogues for lunch. There is a flat bed tailer to the side that is covered in side dishes that all the women have brought: devilled eggs, potato salads, baked beens, odd jello concoctions, pasta salads, corn bread, succotash, pole beans, green beans with bacon, etc. In the horse barn, the local judge's son who wants to be a music star is playing country songs with his band. The scene could not be more stereotypical.

And what fuel is the BBQ running on?

Gas

When you fuss about only charcoal and wood chips being authentic. You aren't "wrong." But you aren't definitively "right" either. You sound like you learned everything you know from the lifestyle section of one of the broad sheet papers. Like your knowledge has been funnelled through some young, hipster journalist who revels in being a "connoisseur."

Discussing BBQ with Americans is a bit like talking politics or religion. Perhaps best not to go there.

Jam and butter on bread? Or just jam? DH thinks I'm mad because I don't mix the two. Butter is greasy, it's horrible with jam. Jam and cream cheese (Philadelphia type) is yummy though, like a cheesecake.

And he likes cold toast. Nope, the point of toast is that it's hot.

Best not to go there?

Best not to tell people what to do.

If people like to declare loudly and repeatedly that gas barbecues don't cut the barbecue mustard then so be it!

But feel free to continue with the huffing and puffing.

The jam thing on bread jam and butter if it is a slice, just jam if a sandwich.

I do not care to explain the difference. Just understand this id right.

Can you get front fastening bras anymore?

I miss front fastening bras.

Discussing BBQ with Americans is a bit like talking politics or religion. Perhaps best not to go there. So true

Whattodo Sorry, but what you describe does sound like authentic barbecue until you got to the part about gas. Where was this? I would have guessed Texas because everyone knows Texans don't do it right but you said hogs, which suggests not Texas.

I'm a Georgian whose family originally came from North Carolina. Carolina is the cradle of 'cue and thus the final authority.

what yeah what do I know! Only married to an American built his own pit in the back garden!

And regardless. My opinion is cooking over an actual gas flame isn't bbq

Victoria secrets do front fastening sports bras

I have a ketchup gripe: What possesses people to put ketchup anywhere near an egg yolk? Red runniness should never mix with yellow, everyone should know that.

Um, um, um - no!! Whoever said double pegging is wrong is just... wrong!!!
If you have 54 pillowcases to hang out you are better off with double pegs. I used to spend hours hanging laundry out and I had a SYSTEM and everything, and it was awesome. Single pegging is for amateurs.

I went to a wedding and when the tea and coffee was served they made us put the milk in first (as in, the staff member with the milk came first, then the one with the tea or coffee). I was so confused. How are you supposed to know how much to put in?! Surely the appropriate amount of milk can only be gauged by the shade your tea or coffee turns when milk is added.

All wrong.

I won't be drawn any further on BBQ.

What's the connection to Seneca Falls? Did your family like to vacation there in the summer or something?

Well, DH is from upstate NY, but my NN is a feminist reference.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seneca_Falls_Convention

I don't know if it has been asked earlier, but would you barbecue weetabix?

I am a "do the bra up then swivel it round and hook over the arms" girl. when you have to wear an over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder with about 15 hooks, it's just not possible to do them from behind (so to speak). humph.

The following disproportionately irritate me to the point where I have been known to have leave the room:

My father who believes the correct, and only way to eat crisps is off a plate with a knife and fork.

A good friend of mine who pronounces the word salmon "sall-mone". When everyone in their right mind knows you say it "sammon".

Your dad uses a knife and fork to eat crisps??!!

Is he very posh? Is he very eccentric? Posh and eccentric, that's not an unheard of combo?

He is both very elderly and very posh. (Although sadly his poshness never rubbed off on me)!

If you think that having to listen to someone scoff crisps out of a bag is annoying (which it is) that's nothing compared to hearing metal cutlery scrape against a china plate as they attempt to eat crisps miniscule crumb by miniscule crumb

Horrified to realise that I'm a swivelling heathen ???? I'm bendy but I just can't see how this would be doable.
I do have massive boobs and short arms like a T-Rex, would this exonerate me?
DH has just finished building his OUTDOOR GRILL, totally with you all who agree that this should in no way come under the umbrella of barbecuing. Other wrongness includes me and my crisp and jam butties. Anyone who has brown sauce on bacon butties is wrong too.

My DP just got home and peeped over my shoulder as I was reading intensely skimming through this thread.

He said if there was to be a law about how women put on bras he would be applying for a job as an Inspector :)

54 pillowcases!?!?!?!?! What the seven hells is happening here!!

As for the tea and milk situation I'm guessing at the wedding that the tea was out of a teapot? It is therefore acceptable to put the milk in first.

Milk first is incorrect if you are making the tea in the mug. It needs to be tea bag, boiling water then milk.

Obviously if you don't take milk it's all wrong.

Is it wrong that I read this
DP used to slice up frankfurters, mix them with a tin of vegetable soup and call it a casserole
and thought 'That would be a great idea next time we go camping'?

Sally, im glad others here have my problems with bras. I hate them, cost loads, cant put them on correctly. Who would be a woman eh!?

Milk is acceptable first, if the tea is from a tea pot. Otherwise absolutely not.

Mum told me when I was young that 1 teabag made at least 2 cups of tea. I didn't taste a proper cup of tea until by uncle told her off for making tea wrong