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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want a present to myself and not want my husband to have it!!!

96 replies

Nanc123 · 29/06/2015 21:57

I've had a significant birthday and my husband has encouraged me to buy a flash digital camera way over the price I would feel comfortable spending - my friends and family have chipped in too and it's a big deal present. He never mentioned about him using it until we were in the shop , as I assumed as i do art projects too that this would be my camera and not clogged up with his pics as well. Tonight I've come downstairs and he is playing with the camera and apparently I am being a bitch if I want it to myself... Is it too much to ask to have something to myself??? I would rather have a cheaper one and it be just mine!!

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 29/06/2015 22:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Nanc123 · 29/06/2015 22:06

He did say being a bitch about rather than "you bitch give me the camera!"......but I'm I being a bitch?

OP posts:
MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 29/06/2015 22:06

So he basically wanted a new toy and used your birthday as an excuse to buy it?

CalleighDoodle · 29/06/2015 22:06

Youre being a bitch?! Wtf?! Is he normally a nob?

steppedonlego · 29/06/2015 22:07

Completely not unreasonable. Return it and get something that you really want, not something that he corrals you into getting secretly for himself.

TeenageMutantNinjaTurtle · 29/06/2015 22:07

Um... He basically organized everyone to buy him a present and pretend it was for you. Nice. You are definitely not being a bitch.

KirstyJC · 29/06/2015 22:08

Sounds like he just wanted it for himself and found a way of getting it without paying for it. Nice.

HirplesWithHaggis · 29/06/2015 22:08

He encouraged you to spend your own money, and that of your friends and family, to buy a camera for him to play with? Did he contribute too? Even if he did, it's your new toy, not his.

StayWithMe · 29/06/2015 22:10

What an arse. I wouldn't let him near the camera. As a matter if fact I wouldn't even let him know where it is when you're not using it. And again, what an arse!

TTWK · 29/06/2015 22:11

Out of line calling you a bitch, very worrying. As is your "it's mine" attitude. Very weird.

A digital camera should be enjoyed by all the family. No need for it to be clogged up with his pics, you can have his and hers SD cards.

Don't see the problem. The more people that get enjoyment out of something, the better value it becomes.

If you were a pro photographer then I could see your issue, you have it all set up for work and you don't want him fiddling with it. But other than that, get a grip.

Notgrumpyjustquiet · 29/06/2015 22:11

Shock I agree with steppedon. He's totally out of order. Take it back to the shop.

Original poster
Nanc123 · 29/06/2015 22:13

He did put in a lot of his own money but slightly disappointed that all the research wasnt completely unselfish - gracias sometimes a mum just wants something to herself!

OP posts:
StayWithMe · 29/06/2015 22:15

Does your husband know you're on mumsnet? Hmm

Original poster
Nanc123 · 29/06/2015 22:16

The separate SD cards is a good point but TTWK have you never wanted anything for yourself? We have a good digital camera already this is a SLR manual camera and I have studied photography. ( but used film)

OP posts:
Original poster
Nanc123 · 29/06/2015 22:17

Stay with me - should he know I'm on Mumsnet????

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 29/06/2015 22:17

A digital camera should be enjoyed by all the family.

Not if it belongs to one member of the family. It was for a special birthday. What if someone else fiddles and breaks it?

Tell your DH to leave it alone!

Imustgodowntotheseaagain · 29/06/2015 22:17

What a selfish twat (him.
Not you) Sell it and keep the money. If it was your birthday present then of course if is yours. A family camera, as TTWK is describing, shouldn't have been given as your personal gift.

MrsSchadenfreude · 29/06/2015 22:19

I don't agree with TTWK at all. I have a super whizzy MacBook, that was also a present from DH. A present for me to use for my writing, among other things. It is used by everyone - the documents bit is stuffed full of DD1's homework, the favourites are all DH's favourites (and he seems to have deleted all of mine). It pisses me off no end. It's not mine if everyone else can feel free to use it. And yes, like a family present, rather than something specifically for me. I feel your pain. Oh and I also have a digital camera, that I can barely get my hands on, and don't really know how it works, as that seems to be common property too.

StayWithMe · 29/06/2015 22:23

No OP, defiantly not! I was just a bit gob smacked by the poster that suggests you should give your birthday present to the whole family to use.

steppedonlego · 29/06/2015 22:23

staywith why is relevant if he knows or not?

mumeeee · 29/06/2015 22:24

YANBU. My DH is an amateur photographer and he takes loads of photos. He has two cameras that are his and I would never ask if I could use them. I have a compact digital camera which I use myself and am happy with.

Original poster
Nanc123 · 29/06/2015 22:24

Thankyou I think we try and respect that our individual children need 'their space' 'their things' but we are fooking people too!!!

OP posts:
TTWK · 29/06/2015 22:26

I don't agree with TTWK at all. I have a super whizzy MacBook, that was also a present from DH. A present for me to use for my writing, among other things. It is used by everyone -

A laptop is different from a camera. Full of personal stuff, everyone in the house has their own laptop.

But a camera, ffs, it's only stuff. If a bloke came on here saying his wife had bought him a flash sports car for his birthday but he didn't want her driving it in case she damaged it, he'd get flamed. And rightly so.

The bloke sticks his willy in you, but you won't trust him with your camera. Utterly bonkers!

IsItIorAreTheOthersCrazy · 29/06/2015 22:26

YANBU!

Take your camera and tell him it is yours and he can ask nicely if he wants to use it.

Oh and calling you a bitch is VVVVU - don't let that go unchallenged

Original poster
Nanc123 · 29/06/2015 22:30

I get it StayWithMe yes I don't think men are expected to share their gadgets, or if they didn't wouldn't be judged as much

OP posts: