AIBU to keep my daughter in her bedroom until school has finished

[gamerwidow]

Had a phone call from school to pick DD aged nearly 5 up from reception because she felt sick. I have picked her up and she is clearly not sick and has admitted she lied because she didn't want to be at school.

I have made her go to her room and told her that if she is too sick to be at school she is too sick to be out of bed and she has to stay there until school ends.

I need her to understand that what she did was wrong and can't be repeated but at the same time I wonder if I am being too harsh and if there is a more appropriate punishment.

She is crying upstairs at the minute and I feel awful but I can't have lying at school so she can come home.

So AIBU? Any better ideas to handle this?

Sometimes my five year old is exhautsed and teary on a monday, if we have had a busy weekend. Tiredness can make a child feel ill anyway. Sometimes something has upset them. Atm it is someone saying she cant do a handstand properly that does it! Anyway, theres always a reason. I have to work our what it is and help her deal with that in an appropriate way that doeant make her hate school. Theyre there a long time.

I cant believe some of the responses. She's 5! She's got a long time left of school. Let her have one day off ffs.

Stinker - sounds like your harsh upbringing has rubbed off on you and you're inflicting it on your kids.

I'm assuming that those who advocate allowing children to lie their way out of school at 5 still only have five year olds or younger. The thing is that if you let a child lie to get out of school what message are you sending them? And at what age does it suddenly become inappropriate?

It's one thing to have a child who gets teary saying they want to spend a day with mummy, some parents may indulge that, some may not. But the instant you start allowing lying and pandering to it on one level you open up the door to lying about other things. You can't expect a five year old to know that it's ok to lie about being ill to get a day off school, but it's not ok to lie about who broke something to avoid getting into trouble.

So if you allow lying for one thing then you are bringing up your child to learn that honesty is not important. It also teaches them how to manipulate others, and that mummy will back them up regardless of whether they've done wrong or not. All they have to do is lie and mummy will believe them.

She fessed up. At what age can a child be a child? Seriously l sometimes think my dc are bloody lucky I'm not British.

Give her lots of love and cuddles ..and next time she pulls her stunt might be on a day mum is working and will cost her a days holiday or a days pay.

Thanks georgiana

I'm gobsmacked that some posters really think that UNDER 5s will sit down and think clearly about lying. As Stoned says they are children, their brains are not fully developed, it's just not possible for them to premedidate and LIE for goodness sake.

Even our courts of law understand this.

Oh and though I live 50% in Fr. Iam British Stoned !!

In her op the op says that her little girl said that she lied !!! I don't think for one minute she's manipulative in any way but the op has said that there's often a performance a Monday and Friday (the days she's at home). So, it could be that she's exhausted after the weekend/week or a uti, or that school is too loud (on Mondays and Fridays), or an anathema to her or she's been bullied...
or It could be that she's as bright as a button, has cotttoned on that Mummy's at home and if she pretends to be ill she gets to go home with her! In which case the op was right and NBU to make her stay in her room for a bit!

But what's wrong with wanting to be at home with her mummy for a day or so? I'm just on a thread where we are bemoaning how stultifying the ed system is for the early years, it's not right IME and O.

Nothing's wrong with it. It's just that it needs to be nipped in the bud now because, as OP doesn't appear to be home edding, DD will have to go to school as of September, and she'll have to be there the vast majority of the time. I'm not saying this is a good thing, just that it's a thing.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to be at home with Mummy but if every time a child wants to be at home have cuddles watching c beebies actually gets to ,schools will be empty!

And, of course it would be a bit of a piss take if op had to take days off work to do it!