to ask how many of you had a mum who was naked at home a lot?

[ladyrosy]

A couple of days ago, I had spent all day in PJs and no bra (my excuse being my beautiful DS1 is 9 weeks old and some days are trickier than others!) and I thought to myself "I am turning into my mum by not wearing a bra! No wait, I would have to be naked in the house all the time to be my mum. Wait... what?"

It was a moment of realising that something that was completely normal to me as a child may not actually be that normal. I suspect this will end up filed under "more evidence my mum is bonkers", but to make sure I am not being unreasonable, may I ask you if your mums (or either parent I guess!) spent most of their time in the house naked? She would do it with the curtains/blinds open, and it would be all day, not just a pre-shower moment, so pretty extensive nakedness.

I don't feel I can ask the people I know in real life. I suspect I'll sound a bit odd.

Thankfully no. Don't want to see other people's cracks and holes thanks either my families or others.

Highly wierd to roam around naked and them attempt to teach your children how to protect themselves from abuse and bodily autonomy.

Our kids were taught to knock at our bedroom door and we at theirs from a really young age. Boundaries matter. Boundaries keep kids safe.

As for weeing and pooing with the door open. Just bloody awful.

As a cm I teach my mindees the same. Their bodies are beautiful but private.

Of course jim jams and bra less breast feeding are completely ok.

my mum did walk around naked a lot but not for the sake of deliberately making a point of being naked. I suppose it was before or after bath and only upstairs but i do remember seeing her naked a lot. There wasn't any issue with it. She was comfortable with it. My dad didn't do the same. As kids, brother and I went naked a lot in back garden until a fairly late age by some people's standards. Mum always thought it was the best thing in summer especially if we were going to get wet or grubby.

(this was 70s/80s btw. She came from a strict family so it would have def never have been the norm when she was growing up!)

I have never seen my mother naked.

And I would prefer not to.

Not odd at all in your own home.

My parents were often naked in front of us when we were children, but not naked-all-day. More around bath/shower times and when getting ready to go to the beach etc. It stopped as we got old enough to not want to be unclothed in front of them, I was about 8yo. Even after that we would happily let another family member into the bathroom, with the only toilet in the house, as long as the shower curtain was closed.

(my father still nude-sunbathes in his own garden - I have been known to say 'Hi Dad, DON'T TURN OVER)

My DDs (6 and 4) have seen us naked. They'll still have showers with us if they need a morning clean up, rather than their usual evening bath. We all get changed together for swimming. DD1 is beginning to have occasional moments where she doesn't want to be seen by us and we'll leave her be.

I can understand parents with very young families being nude round each other - baths, showers, getting changed..
My children saw me nude a lot when they were little. It's natural.

But as they get older and reach the teenage years, then I think it's a bit to subject your teenagers into what really, is being forced to view their mother and fathers fannys and willys.
And it is forcing them!
If you are walking round most of the time with no clothes on, then where else are they supposed to look?

And I mean - Get real!

Is it right for a boy (between say 13 & 16) to be sat there while his mother insists on swanning round in the nude in front of him?

I'm sure it would make most teenagers (who are full of raging hormones) feel really uncomfortable and possibly confused.

I'm sure I won't be popular for saying the above.
But I feel it does need to be pointed out that there is a world of difference between having very young children and adolescent children, especially when it comes to how a family nudity.

especially when it comes to family nudity.

bricknit- I totally agree.

And my children saw me regularly naked when they were younger- getting changed, coming out of the shower- as toddlers they stuck to me like glue so it was all pretty natural.

As natural and comfortable as it feels to be naked in front of a 3 year old, it is not appropriate for me to be naked in front on my 17 year old son.
If I shower I take my robe with me, dry off put on my robe to walk to the bedroom to get dressed.
I know he wouldn't appreciate seeing me walking around naked and I wouldn't feel comfortable either.

Mum and Dad are both nudies. The neighbors regularly got an eyeful when we were younger.
Neighbors dropped subtle hints then unsubtle hints.
Parents said they should stop looking out of their windows?

I was teased so much at school.

Parents are more discrete now but still don't close doors when using the bathrooms/downstairs cloakroom. All boyfriends have learnt to avert their eyes.

The bathroom doors don't have locks so you have to listen out for anyone coming and yell ' I'm in the bathroom' - it still doesn't always stop them coming in for a chat! They just don't get it.

I tell them to get out now.

I'm not going to even mention their sex life.

They strip off a lot in summer and mum wears very revealing clothes - Dad's topless chest in Waitrose is very cringe worthy.

I'm a bit of a prude except when I do naked house-cleaning. Today is a naked cleaning day. All the curtains are closed tightly though and it's something I do on my own. I wear clothes when doing the windows.

I agree too Brickinit. I may be a bit uptight but I just can't feel right about my DS seeing me naked now he's 10. With a DD, it's a bit different as it's more normal for women to see each other naked anyway in changing rooms etc. But surely boys of 10 and up are going to start to find seeing their naked mum a bit embarrassing and awkward.

Only if they were brought up that way cat. My brothers and I grew up in a nude family and it was just the natural thing. We learned that nudity had nothing to do with sex and that genitals are no different to fingers or elbows.

Humans only started wearing clothing to keep warm when they moved to cold climates. It's unnatural to cover up all the time and stops the skin from doing its natural cooling process, as everyone discovers in this hot weather.

I think it's a bit more complex than that though. There are taboos about genitals – as we're not actually wild animals, it's "natural" for humans to have cultural taboos and norms. If, as an adult, you get your minge or knob out at work or in the park and wave it around, you'll get sacked/arrested. In that way, genitals are, in fact, very, very different to fingers and elbows. We teach children to be aware of what's inappropriate behaviour in an adult and what kinds of contact are not OK. they involve genital areas. And so on.

"Nudity had nothing to do with sex" – no not necessarily, but genitals do have something to do with sex. They are also taboo because of the associations with excretion.

I don't think walking around naked in front of your children is in itself some kind of crime or abuse. I do however think it could be confusing and awkward. Maybe not for all children, of course. It just makes sense to me that as your DC get older and you teach them about bits that are private, you also model that.

I am oversensitive about it all though and I do admit that. I hate the thought of being inappropriate around my DC like my parents were and I do take steps to avoid any possibility of it (while trying to stay as relaxed as possible).

it's "natural" for humans to have cultural taboos and norms

I would question your "natural". Just because something has become a habit doesn't mean it's automatically sensible or correct.
If you were brought up in a family where nudity is frowned upon, you will think the same.
If you were brought up in a family where nudity was normal and you weren't told or shown by behaviour that genitals were 'dirty', you wouldn't be bothered by nudity. Humans just aren't pre-programmed that way - it's learned behaviour.

Norms - In some cultures MGM and FGM are the norm - doesn't mean it's right.

Taboos - In some cultures, perfectly healthy foods are forbidden - doesn't mean it's right.

There is nothing 'natural' about covering the body, and at times it can be positively unhealthy. I'm sitting here without anything on and I'm far more comfortable than having sweaty clothes stuck to my skin.

But I don't think genitals are dirty, or anything to be ashamed of. They're just private, which is different.

I also don't think all cultural norms are right. But it is human to have them. There are some animals that have culture, too – they're natural, presumably.

Mum never walked around the house naked as such, but she'd often wonder into my bedroom to get the hairdryer etc in the buff, and I would do the same as well. It was just normal for me I guess iyswim? We didn't exactly flaunt nudity but if we did see each others 'bits' it wasn't an issue. I wasn't a very self conscious/private teen though, could have been an issue if I was