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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to move house because of a neighbour?

107 replies

Confusedmartie999 · 26/06/2015 16:50

Have only lived here 5 months and signed into 12 month contract so can't go anywhere before then :(
They are making my life bloody hell, first it was knocking as the cat was going in their cat flap at night so now we chase the cat around all evening trying to catch him. I'm apokugised and bought them chocolates.
Then they knocked about him going in during the day at siting on their sofa.
Then they knocked about hearing the TV through the living room walls and today they saw me scuff another neighbours car ( mainly due to them coming around the corner and I thought they were going to stop to let me out and they didn't so I turned too much ) and as I got out to go and knock on the neighbours door said " not good not good " even know I was in tears with 2 young children in the back.
I can't live there any longer than I have to.

OP posts:
CainInThePunting · 27/06/2015 10:54

I have a very similar neighbour, it's the husband who is the worst and I think because I am a lone parent he feels he has the right to dictate how I live in this house.
He too used to knock on to complain about various petty little things, I finally had enough of him when he came knocking one Saturday evening before 9pm, I only had the TV on so I refused to open the door to him. He shouted at me through the letterbox and called me a 'fucking bitch'. The next morning I saw him outside and told him not to dare knock on again and that he was no longer welcome to cross onto the property. He doesn't dare speak to me any more but he called the police to my house telling them I was shouting and banging on the walls - complete lies.
I started to keep a log of all the incidents and recently opened a case with the police to log it all. Four years worth of harassment, little things on their own but it's mounted up to a catalogue. Mainly shouting abuse but there was one incident when he followed me to the shop and made lecherous comments.

You need to log this too. One of these days he will cross the line and you will have the evidence.
Make sure the letting agent and/or landlord are aware too.
Every time your neighbour does or says something don't get upset, just think to yourself "you carry on sweetheart, have another length of rope with which to hang yourself".

sonjadog · 27/06/2015 11:10

Stop being nice.

I had a busybody, bullying neighbour where I lived before. For years I just tried to struggle it off and ignore it as I really didn't want a conflict. It used to stress me more than it ever needed to. Then one day I snapped and told her firmly to back off and leave me alone. She never bothered me again. Like many bullies, she couldn't deal with someone standing up to her. I should have told her to stop years before I did.

It was a real learning experience for me. Being nice is fine, but you have to stand up for yourself or people will walk all over you. Clear boundaries are important.

Penfold007 · 27/06/2015 11:14

Sorry but scratches along both doors is more than a slight bump. You have to declare the incident to your insurance company so just let the neighbour claim through their own insurance.

You've moved the telly so that should solve that problem. They need to simply shoo your cat out and buy a new cat flap.

EducationalWelfareMakeMeCry · 27/06/2015 11:16

It is a relief when you stop engaging with a busybody or bully.

gymboywalton · 27/06/2015 11:18

sorry-your cat was sitting on their sofa!! and you scraped a neighboyrs car and they passed comment? it's hardly a regime of terror!

Klayden · 27/06/2015 11:25

I don't think YABU about the cat but nothing you've said about them makes me think they are nasty. It's also completely your fault for hitting another car, so blaming someone else is silly. As a new driver, you'll need to quickly learn that!

Original poster
Confusedmartie999 · 27/06/2015 11:32

Of course we will pay for the damage!
It isn't their car though if that's how it came across it's another neighbours car, I've rang our insurance this morning and they will deal with it all. The scratch was about 4 inches long it just happens it's in the middle of the cars falls across both doors.
I will move come March, life is too short to live next door to people who make me feel this shit.
For an early 30s couple we do fuck all wrong, no parties no loud music no smoking ( the last tenant left as he continually moaned about her smoking in the garden as the fumes were affecting his chickens and when she smoked outside the front made it look like a " council estate " )
I take the kids out most days for the whole day whilst my husband works and then give the kids dinner and a bath and put them to bed before I leave for work.
All our family and friends are a distance away and we tend to visit them rather than them us so there's no noise here.
Personally thinking of friends and family they've been very lucky getting us as neighbours but clearly I've been too soft and now they think they can say and do as they please.

OP posts:
EastMidsMummy · 27/06/2015 11:57

These people sound outrageous, knocking on your door twice in five months and passing four words of comment to you after you scraped a neighbour's car. You could not have more unpleasant and interfering neighbours.

BettyCatKitten · 27/06/2015 12:01

I'm sorry you feel like this, but there are far worse neighbours you can have. Just tell him to do one!

Branleuse · 27/06/2015 12:12

they sound really fucking annoying. sympathies

clam · 27/06/2015 12:14

Have the rental laws changed then? Because I once had a 12 month contract, but could leave after 6 as long as we gave 2 months' notice.

That said, I agree with others, they don't sound that bad - vaguely irritating maybe, and not people you'd choose to be best friends with, but hey, that's life.

differentnameforthis · 27/06/2015 12:18

If strange cats come through your flap, it's time to consider buying a more secure device. So if the op was to go in their house through an open window, would that be the neighbours fault too? Is there no responsibility on cat owners to try & control what their cats do, after complaints?

Our neighbours cat seems to like sitting on my car at night & it sends my dog bat shit crazy! He barks, waking the whole house. I asked them to keep the cat contained (as it actually the law here) at night but still the sod sleeps on my car. I can see its prints & the scratches.

Perhaps I need to get a more secure car that cats can't climb on though...

SylvaniansAtEase · 27/06/2015 12:25

Next time they complain about the cat, just stare and say 'Oooh, not good, not good. You should really get an electronic cat flap. Oh and next time you have a complaint, can I ask that you wait to come around when my husband is here please- I don't like being deliberately doorstepped while alone. If you do it again, I'll have to take it further.'

EducationalWelfareMakeMeCry · 27/06/2015 12:25

Shock You have issues with a free roaming cat owner and your dog's behaviour is out of your control?

Original poster
Confusedmartie999 · 27/06/2015 12:25

But it's ok for their chickens to be clucking away at 6am?
And it's okay for us to have to catch a cat who doesn't want to be locked in on a summers evening and for us to change a litter tray every morning but not them?
What should I do with the cat, sit him down and talk to him about boundaries?
It's a wild animal hence the law agrees.
Four words of complete unnecessary judgment when I had 2 little kids in the car, was crying and on the way to a funeral.
I just don't know why people would want to make someone feel more shit than they already do.

OP posts:
differentnameforthis · 27/06/2015 12:40

EducationalWelfareMakeMeCry If you are talking to me, 1] cats are NT allowed to free roam where I live (in Australia) after dark. 2] the dog barks at the cat because it is on our property.

That does not equal my dog being out of control.

differentnameforthis · 27/06/2015 12:41

And it's okay for us to have to catch a cat who doesn't want to be locked in on a summers evening and for us to change a litter tray every morning but not them?

But it is YOUR cat causing the issue, is it not?

ChilliAndMint · 27/06/2015 12:48

They are harassing you and that is a criminal offence.
I would contact the police.

ollieplimsoles · 27/06/2015 12:56

I just wouldn't answer the door...how do they like them apples.

PrimalLass · 27/06/2015 13:00

But it is YOUR cat causing the issue, is it not?

No, it's the hole in their house that is causing the problem.

differentnameforthis · 27/06/2015 13:07

Oh so the hole in their door, which is there for THEIR cat has been enticing ops cat to go through it, has it?

Blimey! Clever hole!

PrimalLass · 27/06/2015 13:09

If you leave holes in your house then animals might come in. There is a simple solution but they are only interested in complaining by the sound of it. I bet they fed the cat at some point

If they have their own cats then they are being even stupider about thinking they can be controlled.

PrimalLass · 27/06/2015 13:10

My neighbour's cats kept coming in because a) I left the door or window open and b) I gave them some ham one day Blush That was my fault, not the cats' or the neighbour's.

yongnian · 27/06/2015 13:18

YANBU. Life is too short for these kind of fuckers - it will escalate, given their form with previous tenants and their trajectory with you. I speak from bitter experience.
As someone else said, cross off the days, ignore them in the meantime and put your efforts into finding somewhere else.
Also as someone else said, tell your landlord and keep a note of stuff. Don't engage in the meantime, it's what people like this love.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 27/06/2015 13:18

OP, I think it's fair enough they don't want your cat in their house. It's your cat who is being a nuisance.

The car issue might be a bit annoying, but id have just ignored them.

I dont think they're being that unreasonable tbh.

Just go about your business and ignore them for the next 7 months is all I can suggest. You clearly don't get on, but just one of those things.

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