Yes, she was driving to a funeral, but if she was so upset that tears came that easily after a minor driving problem and encounter with a neighbour, maybe it would have been better not to drive, especially with children in the car.
She has also let this problem get the better of her imo, if it affected her judgement while driving --
"as soon as I saw them pull in I wanted to get away as I was already upset and really didn't want to be listening about the cat problem again so I tried to get out and misjudged the gap, I should have waited I know. An expensive lesson to be learnt."
All parties were in their cars as far as I can tell, and I do not understand how she would have been subjected to any more conversation about the cat, that being so.
OP, I think your cat is annoying more than just one neighbour at this point, and while the law is on your side (sensibly recognising that cats are laws unto themselves), I think you need to acknowledge that cats can be very annoying to neighbours despite the law -- pooing in gardens, fighting with other cats, and yours lets himself into other people's houses. It is very possible that the neighbour who brought your cat in while he was fighting with her cat could not hold him and knock and wait because of being scratched or bitten. I know my cat would put up a heck of a fight if someone picked her up and she objected. In short, I think you should consider keeping him indoors.
I hope the neighbour doesn't repeat that in a way I didn't say it as no doubt they will knock having a go at me about that too.
I just can't imagine them making that kind of comment being made to my husband if it was him who scraped the car so for that reason they seem to be picking on me.
We left London for this place and I wonder if they just don't like outsiders, they've made it clear in conversation I have heard in the garden how annoying having a rented property next door is so maybe it's that
What if we had opened the door and fallen over the bloody thing? At the least it would have sent the rubbish over which she would have moaned about anyway.
The lady across the road ( best friends with next door)
This is (pardon the pun) catastrophising, seeing malevolence where there is probably none intended at all and letting it all cascade.
I think you will look like a loon if you go knocking on doors complaining about bullying. They are going to bring up issues they have with your cat, which are legitimate issues despite what the law says, and you are going to complain about their complaints about your H not parking within the lines (despite the parking regulations) and your interpretation of things you have heard over the fence and that have been said to you, all of which is 'eye (ear) of the beholder' stuff...
Basically what is happening here as far as I can see is all parties are having a tough time getting used to each other. You forget to bring in your bin, your cat annoys people by letting himself into their houses and fighting with their pets, your H parks outside the lines, your TV was audible in their house -- all of these things have had an impact on them. For their part, they have been rather quick to point out where you have been going wrong it has to be said, but all the same I see this as a matter of everyone just getting used to each other. You do not know apart from the problem with the smoker what issues they have had with the previous renters they have had living next to them over the years, and you do not know if your LL has been receptive to complaints by the neighbours about tenants, which may have made them be more assertive and wish to nip issues in the bud.