to be pleased that I can't lick both nipples with little physical contortion?

[chippednailvarnish]

Just sayin'

Did you try then?

that's nice, dear

Who's nipples?

Pleased that you CAN'T?

Having tried?

I'm really not going to ask

It really is much easier if you get someone else to lick them ( I really have no idea what's going on but I like nipples)

Actually I have a dodgy disc in my neck, so no I didn't try.

Sorry

just you wait, gravity makes everything head south, no physical contortion will be needed. just lifting the saggy things.

Even though I'm a SAHM with school aged children

Would it be wrong for me to hire someone to lick my nipples for me?

It's just that I get a bit overwhelmed and DH works long hours.

and small norks.

There's not much to lift.

Worra how much would you pay eyes up an employment opportunity for DH

I haven't tried, but I think I could also do this.

I'm also VERY proud. I am a little-titted lady, but I've put on weight and have gravity issues, so I think if I did a backwards roll, I could now do this.

My dd has sucked my nipples, so has my DH. I am the only person in this house who hasn't (although, nor has my dog...). Maybe now is my chance to try.

Sadly, I'm not keen enough to experiment and come back and report.

Backwards roll? Sod that, that's sport.

No more than NMW to begin with chipped and on a zero hours contract

My nipples refuse to commit to just anyone!

I don't think my DH will meet your nipple's high standards...

Nope. Can't quite get there yet.

Give it a couple of years

scrub that; !

I don't think my DH will meet your nipple's high standards...

Would he consider a training scheme, if I can secure funding?

I can, with minimal effort, lick my nipples.

Either lying down or standing up.

I have gigantic and saggy norks.

I was going to put at my nipple-licking ability, but I think i'll just slink off to the corner.

Just to add.

This is only something I tried after reading this thread.

I previously had no knowledge of my ability.

I'd be worried if you could only lick one.

I discovered years ago that due weight gain and gravity, I could. DH was, um, impressivly impressed with the sight.

I can get mine in my nostrils.

That will be useful if there's a gas leak Norma

I can use mine as a sleep mask

Well thanks to this thread I've just pulled a muscle in my neck giving it a go...

dying here!! (not gonna try and lick mine though as at almost 38 weeks pregnant I might get more than I bargained for I bet I can though, they're pretty massive and propped up by my bump )