My feed

to access all these features


AIBU to want to send my DC to private school after seeing kids in park?

463 replies

Fishnchipsagain · 24/06/2015 19:16

DS is 2 so schools haven't really been on our radar yet. But the local primary is rated Outstanding so we just assumed he'd go there in due course.

This afternoon we met some friends at a park at 4pm. The park is close both to the state primary and local prep but is not one we usually go to (and we normally avoid parks at school turning out time).

The park is big but was packed with school children most of whom looked about 7 or younger, so was pretty chaotic. Most of the kids were dressed in polos and shorts or summer dresses and looked pretty much the same. However I rapidly realized that the children in one uniform were generally behaving far better than the others, so I looked at the uniforms to see which schools the kids attended.

There was a lot of pushing and shoving between the primary school kids, and one was utterly foul mouthed. These kids were also the ones who tried to shove the toddlers out of the way on the climbing frame, were clambering the wrong way up the slide, not waiting their turn or yelling at/pushing my DS and his friends if they tried to go in the play house. They took no notice of me when I suggested they wait. One picked up my son's toy and pulled the string so hard he broke it, then just chucked it down and ran off laughing. Obviously they weren't all like this, but a significant number were.

In contrast, the prep school kids we met were universally respectful and friendly to the toddlers, waiting their turn and not sliding into the child in front, one said sorry when he ran into my buggy and they generally seemed to be playing much more nicely together and have more social awareness.

AIBU to want to send my DS private after witnessing this or am I just not used to 4-7 year olds and this is normal? Ive looked on the prep school website and we could just about afford it if we scrimped and saved.

OP posts:
Figmentofmyimagination · 26/06/2015 18:18

Hey. On the way home on train idling away reading this funny thread.

Behaviour issues aside, I do think one of the downsides of independent schooling (first DD just emerging after 15 years of it) is the risk of afflicting your DC with lifelong status anxiety. Instead of seeing the world in all its shades and valuing their own contribution, it's never going to be quite good enough.

I am ambivalent tbh.

MaggieJoyBlunt · 26/06/2015 18:20

I have a prejudice against straw boaters Mehitabel; ludicrous headwear.

I could weave that in?

Mehitabel6 · 26/06/2015 18:23

Are there any older girls left with hats these days? It is something they seem to lumber the poor little 5 yr old with- too young to complain!

MaggieJoyBlunt · 26/06/2015 18:25

too young to complain

Yes, that's probably it Smile

DocHollywood · 26/06/2015 19:09

Re bingo, have we had 'only 7% of children are educated privately but they account for 99.99% of Oxbridge grads'?

Mehitabel6 · 26/06/2015 19:19

Not yet- I am waiting for that one.

Mehitabel6 · 26/06/2015 19:22

I am not sure how you account for all the people who use state and private at different times -or for different children in the family. Or the many who could afford private but choose state.

Mehitabel6 · 26/06/2015 19:26

It certainly shouldn't happen that my DSs comprehensive won the school debating competition when many private schools took part. Highly odd since it is taken for fact that comprehensive pupils can't string together a coherent sentence or look anyone in the eye!

sunshield · 26/06/2015 20:05

I was wondering if it is just in the last twenty years or so that private/public school children have become 'Paragons of Virtue'. This is because that unless i was mistaken young men of 'immaculate ' pedigree and manners use to go round 'smashing' up restaurants , whereas the public school Oxbridge girls would be 'smashed' by Cocaine and vodka !.

This is nonsense of course, public school boys/girls still act out just the same way and use their daddy's credit card to settle the damage.

For the record my sons 'Secondary Modern' friends are extremely polite respectful and courteous more so than my daughter's grammar schools.

WhoreGasm · 26/06/2015 20:23

Sorry theoretical order. I suppose it's not really independent because it's a grammar, but it's a free grammar rather than a fee paying one, iyswim? So independent insofar that it just selects on ability rather than on financial ability etc.

MaggieJoyBlunt · 26/06/2015 20:33

So it's state?

DocHollywood · 26/06/2015 20:34

A school near me is a 'free grammar'. It used to be a grammar school but has been comprehensive for years and just maintains the free grammar bit in its title. To confuse people maybe? I've no idea. Love the idea of calling a state grammar an 'independent' because it is selective Grin

vindscreenviper · 26/06/2015 20:35

"state" - wash your mouth out Maggie Grin

MaggieJoyBlunt · 26/06/2015 20:49

Grin viper

Love the idea of calling a state grammar an 'independent' because it is selective

Bizarre. It does rather make a nonsense of Whore's earlier post, too.

Maybe she didn't read any of the other posts? Just wandered on to the wrong thread? Smile

BertrandRussell · 26/06/2015 21:00

Ooh- does that mean I can call my ds's secondary modern an independent because it's an Academy? I won't get so looked down on in Waitrose if I could do that..........

He has lovely manners..............

MayPolist · 26/06/2015 21:04

a grammar school has much more kudos than an independent

NickiFury · 26/06/2015 21:18

That earlier post was nonsense without the out and out fibbing about a grammar being an independent Hmm. I am afraid I find it extremely difficult to believe that a state school with, I should imagine, a considerably large student body is only turning out young people that supposedly have less social skills than a troop of chimps.

Marmitelover55 · 26/06/2015 21:29

My dd's state school has a uniform hat for ceremonial occasions. Just saying.

GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 26/06/2015 21:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TheHormonalHooker · 26/06/2015 22:01

Of course it is, Nicki. There are only 163 grammar schools in England, so the vast majority of teenagers go to comprehensive schools. Most of them have good manners and excellent social skills.

It absolutely drives me mad when snobby posters peddle myths about the children who go to comps. There is nothing wrong with them. The children who go to grammar schools are not some special breed who are better than the rest. I have been abused in the supermarket by girls from a grammar school and my friend had to take her dd out after 1 term of continual bullying.

It's a shame that certain posters can't get their heads out of their backsides and start telling the truth for a change!

Mehitabel6 · 26/06/2015 22:09

163 grammar schools is too insignificant to be counted. Very few people have it as an option (thankfully) .
Over 90% go to comprehensives and therefore the majority are just as intelligent, polite, aspirational etc etc as the pocketful who are in selective education or whose parents can afford to, and choose, to pay.

Mehitabel6 · 26/06/2015 22:10

I can't believe I have just allowed to let myself be drawn in when most of the thread is utter nonsense!

TheHormonalHooker · 26/06/2015 22:18

I can't believe I have just allowed to let myself be drawn in when most of the thread is utter nonsense!

I agree Mehitabel.

TheCatHimselfKnows · 26/06/2015 22:25

I am outraged that students at comps are made out to be some kind of feral mass. Surely most MNetters don't believe that - only the supremely snobby twats. My comp educated nephew (with his SEN statement) has a place at Cambridge for September.

TheCatHimselfKnows · 26/06/2015 22:32

My child, also state educated, is doing perfectly well with great exam results, and in no way resembles this cohort of pupils totally lacking in social skills that seem to exist only in the imagination of certain mumsnetters.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.