AIBU to want to send my DC to private school after seeing kids in park?

[Fishnchipsagain]

DS is 2 so schools haven't really been on our radar yet. But the local primary is rated Outstanding so we just assumed he'd go there in due course.

This afternoon we met some friends at a park at 4pm. The park is close both to the state primary and local prep but is not one we usually go to (and we normally avoid parks at school turning out time).

The park is big but was packed with school children most of whom looked about 7 or younger, so was pretty chaotic. Most of the kids were dressed in polos and shorts or summer dresses and looked pretty much the same. However I rapidly realized that the children in one uniform were generally behaving far better than the others, so I looked at the uniforms to see which schools the kids attended.

There was a lot of pushing and shoving between the primary school kids, and one was utterly foul mouthed. These kids were also the ones who tried to shove the toddlers out of the way on the climbing frame, were clambering the wrong way up the slide, not waiting their turn or yelling at/pushing my DS and his friends if they tried to go in the play house. They took no notice of me when I suggested they wait. One picked up my son's toy and pulled the string so hard he broke it, then just chucked it down and ran off laughing. Obviously they weren't all like this, but a significant number were.

In contrast, the prep school kids we met were universally respectful and friendly to the toddlers, waiting their turn and not sliding into the child in front, one said sorry when he ran into my buggy and they generally seemed to be playing much more nicely together and have more social awareness.

AIBU to want to send my DS private after witnessing this or am I just not used to 4-7 year olds and this is normal? Ive looked on the prep school website and we could just about afford it if we scrimped and saved.

FFS Lotus, there are "some children" who are in care at DS' private school. Their fees and all of their expenses are paid for by the school. I actually view this as a very good thing.

Not all private school parents are as concerned about our children's peer group as Lotus.

Ah. So not quite the flat cap and whippet NE 'get on your bike' image that I'd got the impression of.

That's the thing, usualsuspects, I don't think Lotus's DDs earning £100K+ will be mixing with "plebs." They likely work in elite environments with other high flyers. I expect they live in "nice" places. Their friends are likely to be of similar status and outlook.

And frankly, Lotus has bluntly explained to us that this was the purpose of sending her children private school. It's what she wanted for them, and she assumes it is what we want too. (Forgive me Lotus if I have misread you, or am putting words into your mouth.)

Meanwhile, it sounds like her postman son has adjusted just fine.

I've always assumed Lotus and Xenia are one and the same - there can't be that many people with that life story (right down to the island and posting style.

I really can't take someone like Lotus seriously.

This is one of the reasons that we sent our DCs to our local.independent school. We live just around the corner from a comprehensive and the behaviour and attitude of so many of its pupils is just dire.

Hooting and hollering in the street. Vile language even in front of little children. Shoving and barging through a queue for the bus every morning.

I am involved with the comprehensive on a voluntary basis and very few of the pupils have any social skills at all. Can't make eye contact, can't make conversation. Don't know how to introduce themselves and their table manners are dreadful.

In contrast our DCs friends have beautiful manners and are socially very skilled. They are comfortable chatting with adults and know how to carry a conversation. They have a subtle self assurance that is just missing from so many of the comprehensive pupils.

If you have a group o f parents probably both working hard full time in professional jobs paying a small fortune to fund school fees and compare that with parents at your local comp where some will be in prison, some children who are in care, some parents not interested in education, some children whose parents cannot even guarantee to get them to school every day and some with an IQ sub 100 of course you are going to get worse behaviour in the state schools.

Another laughable assumption. In our private prep we have/have had children with parents in prison, children in care, many many parents not interested in education (or not in the way of actively involving themselves in their child's education anyway), and loads with an IQ under 100. As well as children living with domestic violence, neglect, abuse, addiction and probably anything else you think you're paying to avoid.

You're a dick

The thing that I find so utterly depressing is that it is the people like Lotus who end up running the country (and please don't kid yourself that is purely through good teaching and merit).

All schools have a mix of pupils, some with good behaviour & others with bad behaviour. Most human beings have a mixture of both types of behaviour and you are kidding yourself if you think your own children are always perfect.

We are all on a wheel of fortune that is carrying us up or down through time. People with the best manners have an innate respect for others.

Whoregasm are you lotus in another form?

I went to state school and I assure you my table manners are impeccable.

I will swear though, especially at snobs like you. It was my Cambridge graduate mother who taught me to swear!

Whoregasm are you lotus in another form?

Furnishing her island in floor to ceiling Laura Ashley? What a thought!

Island? Laura Ashley? Huh?

That's a bit 'sexual' for Lotus surely? I can't for one moment imagine her using the word whore in connection with herself but she might consider any sahm as one, trading services including sex for her keep

No they're not the same person.

I'm to see Whore praising independents though.

I'm shock to see Whore praising independents though.

Me, too. Weird!

Posh dysfunctional parents often send their DCs to boarding school, if they were poor the DCs would be in care.

There are many very rich drug addict, alcoholic, abusive and or neglectful parents but being posh seems to make it ok.

I don't write about sex on line.

Actually getting children through the "posh test" and with a good chance to run the country is only a small part of what I paid for. There are lots of other things you buy too - like for us classical music, children singing in primary school difficult church music in parts in latin you tend not to get in the state sector sadly which is ridiculous as it costs zero (!). My 3 sons won music scholarships to their schools. I sing every day etc.

Another reason is I like selection by IQ which is of course something state grammars also can provide.

Another is that I prefer single sex education - all the children have been/are at schools which are single sexed.

I could go on but it's 7am and am already in the midst of work.

Don't under-estimate the accuracy of hazey's words.

I'm with SparklingBrook - love a good comedy thread! Some posts are far too outrageous to be taken seriously.

I think it may have tipped over from comedy to bizarre Mehitabel. Very entertaining though.

Probably my dark sense of humour!

I can't even get worked up enough to post a serious reply- it has got so silly.

It's really not the thread for serious replies. Pinch of salt required.

Just caught back up with this thread and the last page has been great.

whore your post was Definatly the pick if the bunch though. Very funny.

Did the op ever come back or is she now asking about sahm v working mums?

Please please be Xenia. I can't bear the thought of two people with the same ignorant stereotypical view of the real world. I'm having doubts though, there's no mention of 'thick' which used to litter Xenia's posts about state school children.