AIBU to want to send my DC to private school after seeing kids in park?

[Fishnchipsagain]

DS is 2 so schools haven't really been on our radar yet. But the local primary is rated Outstanding so we just assumed he'd go there in due course.

This afternoon we met some friends at a park at 4pm. The park is close both to the state primary and local prep but is not one we usually go to (and we normally avoid parks at school turning out time).

The park is big but was packed with school children most of whom looked about 7 or younger, so was pretty chaotic. Most of the kids were dressed in polos and shorts or summer dresses and looked pretty much the same. However I rapidly realized that the children in one uniform were generally behaving far better than the others, so I looked at the uniforms to see which schools the kids attended.

There was a lot of pushing and shoving between the primary school kids, and one was utterly foul mouthed. These kids were also the ones who tried to shove the toddlers out of the way on the climbing frame, were clambering the wrong way up the slide, not waiting their turn or yelling at/pushing my DS and his friends if they tried to go in the play house. They took no notice of me when I suggested they wait. One picked up my son's toy and pulled the string so hard he broke it, then just chucked it down and ran off laughing. Obviously they weren't all like this, but a significant number were.

In contrast, the prep school kids we met were universally respectful and friendly to the toddlers, waiting their turn and not sliding into the child in front, one said sorry when he ran into my buggy and they generally seemed to be playing much more nicely together and have more social awareness.

AIBU to want to send my DS private after witnessing this or am I just not used to 4-7 year olds and this is normal? Ive looked on the prep school website and we could just about afford it if we scrimped and saved.

Interesting how people assume independent school teachers are better qualified. I have two friends who work in "good" (one very prestigious) private senior schools and neither are qualified teachers. This wouldn't be allowed in the state sector.

Massive massive ROFL @ teachers of course being better at private schools

That's the biggest load of codswallop I have ever read on MN

diplodocus some parents, particularly at secondary level, will seek out teachers with degrees from prestigious universities in the subject they are teaching. Those parents won't be interested in any specific training about teaching itself.

maggieryan Thu 25-Jun-15 12:07:47
I'm really not used to the ways of this site at all. . I'm allowed use the word cunt and fuck(which I never would),but I call someone a gobshite for not being able to understand a tongue in cheek reaponse and my message gets deleted?,Strange!!

You personally attacked someone, that is Not Allowed. If you had called another poster a fucking cunt, that would also be Not Allowed.

WhattodowithMum Thu 25-Jun-15 13:03:32
diplodocus some parents, particularly at secondary level, will seek out teachers with degrees from prestigious universities in the subject they are teaching. Those parents won't be interested in any specific training about teaching itself.

Really? So subject knowledge is the only important thing to some parents? What if the teacher has poor communication skills, is unable to diffrent itape work based on needs, doesn't understand different learning styles etc?

Bonkers

Diffrent itape = differentiate

Theoreticalorder, "Learning styles" have been discredited. There is no scientific evidence to support them, and plenty to disprove they exist in any meaningful way, except for a few children with very special needs. Yet Teacher Training Institutions are still teaching them, despite this. This is one of the problems with QTS - some of what is taught in at least some of the institutions is very questionable.

bigthink.com/neurobonkers/why-the-widespread-belief-in-learning-styles-is-not-just-wrong-its-also-dangerous

A teaching qualification from the UK most definitely does not guarantee good comms skills or ability to differentiate.

I think the state system misses out on lots of excellent teachers because they are unable to be flexible over qualification.

Let's put it this way: for secondary education I will be looking for people with in depth knowledge of a subject and out of them I will choose the ones that are good at explaining it. Not the other way around: good teacher first and whether he knows well above required second. I would be disappointed if a teacher knew a subject only within the school programme.

I believe parenting has more influence over how a child behaves than the school he/she attends.

Theoretical order. I understand now. Its okay to slag me for going to state school and calling me uneducated as LONG as you don't actually mention my name. Well in that case some people are stuck up gobsites for assuming people are uneducated if they go to state school..now I get how this works

where indeed.

Take my DD's Spanish teacher.
Native speaker, though trilingual.
Has a degree from Spain and the UK.
Qualified and trained in Spain as a teacher.

Came to the UK and is not allowed to work as a teacher in the state system here.

DD describes her as the best of all the teachers she has ever had. In addition to teaching Spanish she also takes extra curricular clubs, and is an excellent member of the management team.

I'm committing the sin of not RTT and someone else has probably brought this up already but you do know that it was privately educated stuedents who stole from Auschwitz recently?
I do recall that it was a privately educated drug addled hooligan hanging off the War Memorial in central London during the student protests.

Yes pax that one has already been rolled out. But don't let that stop you...

I wonder if I should start linking to all the news stories of state educated young people commiting crimes? We might be a while of course....

Im wondering if its not a private/state school thing, more of a small/large school issue?

My DCs (private school) have pretty good manners, the village school children do seem quite boisterous and loud in comparison - BUT I put alot of this down to the fact there are only 10 in their class, so any bad behaviour, rudeness, poor table manners is spotted by the teacher and TA.

The village school has classes of 40, I suspect poor behaviour is just not seen. Also its hard for a group of 10 to be raucous and noisy when they're playing. In a busy playground the children probably have to shout a bit more to be heard and are used to running in bigger groups, more rough and tumble etc.

I wonder though if the state school was a smaller village school if good manners would be easier to police. Also, private schools can much more easily get rid of any real trouble makers. State schools seem to have to jump through hoops.

At the end of the day state or private, good manners is a lesson that has to be taught at home.

I am guessing that "prestigious private schools" that hire teachers without teaching degrees, are hiring graduates with degrees in their subject matter from prestigious universities. These private schools probably feel they have the expertise to judge wether the candidate, on top of knowing their subject, is well organised, empathetic, a good communicator, etc.

The parents paying the school fees, must feel that the schools are well placed to make that judgement.

It's fair not to see it that way. Nobody is forced to send their children to private schools with unqualified teachers.

and private schools vary a lot. Not all are good by any means and not all schools suit all children.

Sunny I think you have just summed up the back and forth of these threads in a single line.

TheWordFactory: well, I did say it probably had already been mentioned.

Oh TheWordFactory, this business of native speakers with teaching qualifications from their own countries not being allowed to teach their MT in other countries' state education system is one of my bugbears. All sorts of progress has been made in the EU on getting recognition and official equivalence of much more contentious academic and professional qualifications - why, oh why, hasn't the teaching profession caught up.

I went to a state comp in a very deprived area of East London, fairly near Essex. In the part of Essex nearest to us, there was a vair posh and proper private school. I had a boyfriend who went there at one point, and his mother was absolutely horrified that he was going out with a 'rough' girl, and that I would probably get him into drugs and all kinds of terrible things.

Hilarious as the private school kids were the absolute worst for misbehaving - none of my friends of myself drank at all but they were getting drunk at house parties every weekend, ditto with drugs (private school kids tended to be able to afford the harder stuff), ditto with underage sex. She had no idea what her precious DS was up to behind her back and in fact of his classmates were doing the same.

Obviously that's only one experience but my DSIS has just started sixth form at a vair posh school (think st marylebone c of e, but not that one) and she is shocked at the behaviour of many of her current classmates compared to those at her former school (same shit school that I went to). Loads of sex, drinking, very very liberal parents etc etc.

Yet I'm sure if a group of parents had seen students from my school out in the streets vs students from the private school out in the streets they probably would have seen what you did OP. I had a foul mouth then and I still have one now and have no intention of changing it, either. But I was a good girl - the little private school darlings were most certainly not, you just couldn't tell from the outside.

sorry for typos and missed words, on my phone!

I think the kid who is the arrogant shit in private would be even worse in state where he/she would have substantially more than most of the other kids.

No he wouldn't, he'd get the shit ripped out of him if he tried to flaunt it. And probably be a much nicer person for it TBH.

Interesting post bakedapple, in terms of scratching beneath the surface of manners and polish.