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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if you are not thin do you still consider yourself confident & attractive?

99 replies

Onesugar · 22/06/2015 20:56

Couldn't quite get the meaning of my AIBU into the title but I'm asking if you are not thin, do you still maintain your confidence, do you consider yourself sexy, intelligent and the 'same person you always were?' Confidence is the key here because I've been a little bit on the plus size for a year and always wore black outfits; trousers and jackets. Now summer is here I'm in black maxi dresses, and I'm sure that this is more to do with confidence than the fact that I'd look terrible in anything with a bit of colour.

OP posts:
GrumpyOldBiddy2 · 22/06/2015 21:00

I'm what others would call thin but still lack confidence / wear black - so definitely confidence rather than size is key I would say.

mrssmith79 · 22/06/2015 21:01

Nope. No confidence whatsoever. Chub rub, cankles, underboob sweat, bingo wings, I could go on.

I'm addressing it though and am making good headway.

mileend2bermondsey · 22/06/2015 21:01

I've never been 'thin' but often yoyo between weights. I recently lost 3 stone and have never felt better or more confident. Over the last month I've regained 1 stone and feel horrible.

I consider myself attractive. I have a pretty face and Im not drastically over weight either (BMI 26). I would consider myself more 'sexy' if I lost a bit more weight.

AudiR8 · 22/06/2015 21:03

You can feel confident whatever weight you are, It depends on the individual. I myself have lost 7 stone so far and I cannot believe how much more confidence I have. I am loving life a lot more and still have loads more to lose but I can't wait to reach my goal.

UglyBugaz · 22/06/2015 21:03

Tbh im a small 12 and I don't feel confident, I've stopped wearing skirts/dresses/shorts.
I've recently brought a juicer which I find is helping me lose weight, I replace breakfast and occasional dinner with veg/fruit that I juice.

originalusernamefail · 22/06/2015 21:04

I don't, but then I didn't when I was 5 stone lighter either. So. I think it maybe a state of mind you either have or you don't iykwim?

tumbletumble · 22/06/2015 21:05

I'm not thin (BMI around 27) but I consider myself confident and fairly attractive. I do think I'd be more attractive if I lost a stone or two.

BonnieNoClyde · 22/06/2015 21:06

I don't think I'm conventionally pretty, but after years of feeling I owed it to myself to be thin, now I feel I owe it to myself not to care quite as much. My bmi is 25.5 now, after maintaining it at about 23 for years. I'm short, so I don't look slim anymore. A relative even commented recently that my weight gain was noticeable. charmer I also have small boobs so all of the weight is bum, tum, thighs! None of the weight is chest!

But, I'm not sure I care as much as I used to. I tend to wear nice tops in any colour I like, but reasonably plain trousers. (grey, black, navy). I was thinking that royal blue and bottle green would be nice. Maybe coloured jeans are so over now Confused

WestEast · 22/06/2015 21:08

I'm not thin. I'm fat. Size 18, 18 stone. Have lost 4.5 stone. I'm confident most of the time looks wise, I've a cracking rack, good face, good hair.
But mainly I value myself, I am more than my body.

Jewels234 · 22/06/2015 21:08

People keep telling me that I'm 'tiny' (I've just lost 4 stone to get to 9 stone at 5 foot 5), but I feel so unconfident in myself. I till see the 13 stone girl.

NinkyNonkers · 22/06/2015 21:10

I don't know. I'm not huge at a 16, and am reasonably tall with it. I am not massively confident, but wasn't when I was a size 8 either. I do think that I dress well, have good taste, and an reasonably attractive. I was bordering on very attractive 10 years ago, but lack the time and motivation now!

Behooven · 22/06/2015 21:10

No, exact opposite Sad

HorraceTheOtter · 22/06/2015 21:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Murfles · 22/06/2015 21:14

I was thinking that royal blue and bottle green would be nice. Maybe coloured jeans are so over now

I have mint green, pink, red, baby blue, royal blue and white jeans. I must be a fashion failure yet again Grin

Glossybum · 22/06/2015 21:15

I'm over weight and not very pretty but I really like myself. I work out a lot so I may be fat but I am fit fat.

I think I am funny too and I can engage most people into conversation. Because of all this, I am confident and actually dont really want to change anything about me.

MargolottaOfUberwold · 22/06/2015 21:16

I am overweight, around a size 24

I am pretty and my husband definitely finds me attractive.

I am well-known in my professional field.

I do not dress in all black.

It is possible.

I am however trying to lose weight, for health reasons.

twirlypoo · 22/06/2015 21:18

I used to model and was a tiny 6stone. I never felt less attractive or lacking in confidence! I'm now double that weight and also unhappy, for me about 9stone is my happy weight. It all depends on what's going on in my head though, very little to do with my actual body shape!

LaurieFairyCake · 22/06/2015 21:18

4 stone overweight and wear colour every day. I feel very little difference fat or thin, still attractive.

I'm only losing weight now as I'm really hoping it helps my hips, if it doesn't they're going to need replacing.

The only time I get frustration is when ive put out what I'm going to wear and it randomly doesn't fit that day Hmm - but that only happens a couple of times a year (bad pmt plus horrible water weight)

mileend2bermondsey · 22/06/2015 21:19

Perhaps I should have said I am not 'body confident' I am a very confident person in all other respects.

molyholy · 22/06/2015 21:23

I have been fat 15st 5. I have been thin 10 st. Now I am in between and I expected to feel lile a new person when I reached my goal weight. I didn't. I just couldn't think of myself as 'slim'. I can honestly say I was no more confident slim than at my heaviest. It is all to do with your frame of mind.

SaucyJack · 22/06/2015 21:24

I'm bigger than I was after having DD3, and I don't feel like "me" at the moment tbh. I won't put on clothes that I would have enjoyed wearing this time two years ago. But I'm not crying in the corner about it either. I look like most other 30-something mums I see around at toddler groups/school.

Definitely lost my mojo tho. Am hoping to get it back before I'm totally past it.

fastdaytears · 22/06/2015 21:25

I need to lose weight so that my body works a bit better but I think I'm deluded because I still think I look mostly ok (not so much my face...see spot thread!). BMI 30 so a lot bigger than most people on this tread and it's all my own fault. I will fix it but I think in terms of looking good it's 50% wiggle, 25% being in proportion and 25% pretty clothes. That said I definitely enjoy shopping more when I'm smaller.

AnnieOnAMapleLeaf · 22/06/2015 21:26

No, not at all. I hate basically everything about my appearance but I am a comfort binge eater and cannot control my eating habits. I am resigned to the fact that I will never be slim and beautiful.

fastdaytears · 22/06/2015 21:27

Laurie my hips are so painful that's my big motivation. Haven't dared see anyone about it though and I know perfectly well they are no problem when I weigh 3 stone less than I do now...

ghostyslovesheep · 22/06/2015 21:28

I've been anything from a 4 to an 18 - weight isn't an issue for me I am confident in myself

age on the other hand - being invisible is a more difficult one to face - but I'm almost there