To ask if you are not thin do you still consider yourself confident & attractive?

[Onesugar]

Couldn't quite get the meaning of my AIBU into the title but I'm asking if you are not thin, do you still maintain your confidence, do you consider yourself sexy, intelligent and the 'same person you always were?' Confidence is the key here because I've been a little bit on the plus size for a year and always wore black outfits; trousers and jackets. Now summer is here I'm in black maxi dresses, and I'm sure that this is more to do with confidence than the fact that I'd look terrible in anything with a bit of colour.

[littlejohnnydory]

No, I don't feel confident or attractive but I didn't when I was thin either. I don't feel worse about myself for being "plus size". In fact, I probably feel better - I had an Eating Disorder and although I think I still have difficulty leaving food alone and eating moderately, it doesn't have that power over me that it did then. I'd like to be thinner but it doesn't affect my view of myself day to day.

[gruffaloshmuffalo]

I'm a size 14/16 and 5'5. I have a wobbly belly, but I have a great arse, fantastic legs, brilliant boobs, and beautiful eyes.

I've lost 5 stone over the last 24 months and I'm looking awesome. I will be wearing a bikini on holiday, saggy wobbly tummy and all.

It's taken me a long time to see the beautiful in myself, and what helped (although it's pretty shallow) is knowing that not only does dh find me attractive, but there's guys at work who have told me they do too. And that's after two babies.

I'm more confident now with myself and my body than I have ever been. I accept myself for who I am, and it's liberating.

[Sazzle41]

Size 14 nearly a 16 now in middle age, after being a size 10 for years and back then eating crap all day long and staying skinny. Then I hit 30 and it piled on. Its affected my confidence big time. I feel bloated and am at the upper end of healthy BMI and i feel nothing looks good. Ive cut down on crap Mon to Fri. But i have to factor in some cake at weekend or it feels so grim i fall of the wagon and binge - whole carrot cake the other night (tho most of the cake was left and i just ate the icing).

[fastdaytears]

Sazzle I can't believe the crap I used to get away with eating but now I just have to look at it. Icing is the best bit though- totally worth it.

[thebear1]

I have a bmi of 22 having lost 3 stone and kept it off for several years. I still lack confidence in clothes. I wear something black on either bottom or top half every day. I love clothes and admire other people's style but my own choices are very safe.

[RoobyTuesday]

Over the last 13 years with 3 children I've been a size 8,10,12 and then a 10 again.
No difference in confidence levels at any size, it's more about where I am psychologically. I had a period of acute anxiety about two years ago and lost a lot of weight and felt I looked awful - I was too thin and felt I 'looked' unhappy.

[Strokethefurrywall]

I remember being near 185lbs when I was 16/17 and built like a linebacker. I was never lacking guys knocking on my door and I didn't "see" the weight until I baulked at a picture of me lying on box hill in a short black dress looking like a beached whale. And I was no prize really, stupid semi afro, braces on my teeth. And yet my confidence must have dazzled guys!

Fast forward a few years, I lost the puppy fat and bang, there I was a size 10 with an amazing rack. I find it ironic that I struggled far more with my appearance after I lost the weight than before.

I think I felt at my most beautiful about 5 weeks after I had DS1 - my already massive boobs were lovely, my waist had shrunk but my hips had remained a little larger and I looks like Jessica Rabbit!

Now 14 months after DS2 and I go from loving how I look to being very critical of my appearance depending on where in my yo-yo weight gain/loss I am. At the moment I'm at an uncomfortable level where I'm not toned, haven't run in 6 weeks and eating too many carbs. When I'm back and focused on exercising again and eating well, I feel so much better and more confident.

For me, whatever I put in my mouth determines my frame of mind and my level of confidence but given I spend a vast amount of my life in a bikini, there is no room to feel shit about myself.

[valrhona]

I'm 45, around 10 stone and 5'6" tall. The heaviest I've been was skirting 11 stone after 6mos in the US and eating out most evenings. I looked like a minecraft character. Blocky.
I could with effort drop the half stone to get me in a happy zone weight wise, but the first place it goes is off my face which is ageing.
I am happy with myself as I am. Could be skinnier, (or richer, or have a nicer house, or whatever you fancy) but I'm only aiming to be fitter cos I'm a lazy git for the past 2 years.

[LondonLady29]

I'm thin (size 8) but have cellulite all over my legs from knee upwards, a delightful trait I inherited from my mum! No matter what I do I can't get smooth thighs and it's something that bothers me every day. I don't feel comfortable at all wearing anything above the knee my thighs are so bad. I have days when I dress well/ good hair:'/ make up where I feel confident but constantly compare myself unfavourably to other women. Futile I know!

[Ineedtimeoff]

I've had the best times, best sex, most fun on the days or nights where I've been completely unprepared for going out, with my big pants on and where my legs have been the hairiest.

Being attractive has nothing to do with what you wear or how over weight you are but how you feel inside. When your smile comes from inside out and you are genuinely feeling happy and content, that shows.

You need to surround yourself with people who make you feel good and work on how you feel about yourself and the rest will fall into place.

Good luck

[velvetspoon]

I've always been very confident in how I've dressed. At my fattest I was 4st fatter than I am now. In my teens I was nearly 4st lighter than my current weight. I love clothes and wear colours, patterns, short skirts, sleeveless or even strapless dresses, etc. I'm lucky in that my figure is fairly well proportioned, I have slim-ish arms and well toned legs, and when I was fatter I was fatter all over, iyswim. I always think I look great, and even when overweight I still like what I see in the mirror.

I also have a pretty face and nice hair. That said I've never been a massive hit with the opposite sex. I always had lots of blokes fancying me, but none that really saw me as girlfriend material. However I have now met a lovely man who likes me exactly as I am.

[trashcanjunkie]

On good days, most definitely yes! I'm just under 6ft and currently weigh 16st 10 so am much heavier than I should be (approx four stone) however I carry myself tall, and have 'good' hair and big brown eyes, and a smiley face. My Dp thinks I'm perfect, which definitely helps. I see thin people who are much less attractive because of their lack of inner confidence. That said on a bad day I can look and feel like a troll!

[Lavenderice]

I have no idea what my BMI is, I have no idea how much I weigh, I am a 5 ft size 14 and I would come across as confident. It's not that I think I have an amazing body, it's just that I really don't give a shit what anyone else thinks.

[hollieberrie]

Being attractive has nothing to do with what you wear or how overweight you are but how you feel inside

Agree with this. I'm very slim and never have to worry about clothes fitting etc, but i'm not confident at all.

[Jux]

I used to be fairly normal sized and was confident and happy with myself. I have put on quite a lot of weight since I got my mobility scooter, but don't worry too much about it, though I need to be slimmer for health reasons, not for confidence.

My belief in my attractiveness has plunged but it's due to ancientness not size; however, with ancientness has also come the fact that I care less and less about what others think of my looks. Compensation for extreme age!

[BabyGanoush]

I got quite chubby in pregnancy, and took a while to lose the weight.

I felt super sexy, like a fertility goddess .

Slimmer now, but not thin (bmi of 23, so not fat either) and very confident.

Fuck knows where I get my confidence, I must have been birn with it? My parents never commented on people's appearance, and I grew up thinking looks don't matter much.

I don't spend a lot of time looking in mirrors, think that helps too

It saddens me how many women hate their bodies.

[Twowrongsdontmakearight]

Fat now and my thighs rub together in the heat and it hurts, so I need to lose some before hols. At 'goal weight' I was about 3 stone lighter but was too thin and it didn't suit me. I looked older. I look at my best at about size 12 but gaining enough but not too much weight was impossible so here I am! I've always been confident whatever my size, but didn't like being either extreme (if you can call size 10 extreme!) They say you can keep your face or your figure as you get older and in my case it was true. Too thin looked awful and ageing.

[AnnieOnAMapleLeaf]

I can't control the eating. I am 5'3, over 17 stone and gaining! It's disgusting.

[funkybuddah]

Yep. I want to lose weight bit I feel sexy a lot of the time and this is reflected in male attention (not wanting to seen big headed but it happens) however I think it is due to dressing for my shape, no hiding in tents and just not giving a crap about what people I don't know think of me. Attitude is everything. I exercise loads so am fairly toned , just need to stop bloody eating .
That said there are days when I feel angry with myself .

[pinkdelight]

Great reply theimprobable. I'm also 12st and keep intending to lose a bit, but have concluded I'm too happy. Like you I'm fit, I run 5-8k every other day, but I also eat and drink and feel more confident and sexy than I ever did skinny. In fact I feel slim, body-image-wise, it's only when I go out and see proper skinny chicks that I realise I'm bigger, but it doesn't make me feel bad. As long as it doesn't tip over into discomfort (was 14.5st once and had the whole bad knees, sweaty rubbings and other issues) I'm cool with it.

[specialsubject]

don't think I've been 'thin' since I was 12 - not made that way. But never fat either. Healthy weight, sometimes moving towards the 'step away from the biscuits and move more' which is what I then do.

and I am much more confident now than when I was 12!

[RachelRagged]

Been both chubby and very thin (5ft 2 and was 7 and half stone once). Weight when larger was around 12 stone (for my height etc 9 and half is tops apparently). Then I got depressed and stressed and it has dropped from 9 stone to 8 and half . .Happy enough BUT I miss my boobs, I miss my curves if I am honest.

[MrsNextDoor]

Annie Have you seen the GP about it?

[TriJo]

I've been quite big (15 stone, was a size 18 at that size) and as small as a size 8-10 as an adult, I do prefer to be on the smaller end of that but will never be very thin. I like how I am at the moment - size 10 and carrying a good bit of muscle, and I really don't like when I start pushing up past a big 12 towards a 14. I do some kind of workout every day, either running, swimming, cycling or strength work or some combination, it's just the way I prefer to be.

[AnnieOnAMapleLeaf]

I'm in Canada Mrs. I don't know if it's different here but the time I tried to talk to my doctor about it he just told me to eat less and move more. Not helpful.