To write to a death row inmate?

[FanfeckintasticFitbit]

This is something that's crossed my mind a bit in the past. I'm really interested in the lives of others and love books and documentaries about life behind bars.

I have a really happy and fulfilled life with DC and DP so it's not out of loneliness, I love to write but it's been years since I've written actual letters as everybody is online now.

Has anyone else ever written to someone in prison?

I've "chosen" a prisoner (because there are certain criminals I could absolutely not communicate with, child abusers etc) and have written a letter but I'd first like to get some experiences from anyone who has done similar?

Samaritans still have a letter writing branch. You would be able to listen to and provide comfort to a wide range of society from sick children to child rapist and everyone in-between. the training is excellent. Might be a little less Egocentric than selecting a criminal to write to?

Amnesty international need letter writers on behalf of people banged up around the world who often have committed no crimes.

Would that not be better op?

Dreaming Dzhokar Tsarnaev's victims didn't get to walk into a room, or any prewarning that they were going to die. Most of the victims won't have. How can you rationalise that away?

Laurie That case was a travesty, but most of these cases are black and white.

I don't support the death penalty. It's definitely not a flawless process. We have plenty of people who are serving life in prison and they get a lot less letters than DR prisoners, but that's probably because we hear all the horrid details about their crimes. Like Mark Bridger. He did the same as a lot of those prisoners did, killed a little girl, but no one writes to him because that crime is real to us all, we know the details and the horror of her family. We know the story of the victim.

DR prisoners are in another country, there is rarely a photo of the victim or any real information about them or their lives before they were murdered. It makes it so much easier to write to them if the crime is just words.

No, it's not DR offenders or elderly people but if you're picking someone to write to you can hardly claim your reasons are purely good and compassionate when one of them is a murderer/rapist and the other is just lonely!

Do it if you really want to it's up to you. Although how does your DP feel about it? YWBVU to do it behind his back in my view.

I personally think it's a bit odd and I wouldn't want to get into something like that. I like watching those trashy serial killer documentaries sometimes because I find them interesting but I'm sure I've seen ones where they've referred to inmates getting infatuated and obsessed with their penpals (and the other way around too).

I think I'd be scared shitless at the prospect of a letter from a violent rapist/murderer dropping on the doormat

I saw Peter Sutcliffe being visited by a woman (not a relative) in the top security hospital he is being detained in. My personal opinion is that a woman who befriends him is deeply damaged herself in some way. No doubt hundreds will disagree on here, but that's my view.

I agree with you, mooth, it's very disturbing.

Actually I should say a woman or a man.

But then dozens of women wrote to Ted Bundy and one married him, and conceived a child with him, whilst he was on DR. Deeply disturbing.

Ugh! It is beyond my comprehension that a grown woman would want to do this. I remember aged 14 thinking it sounded 'cool.'

Who have you chosen to write to? You mention boys getting caught up in gangs when they're young etc etc. Do you realise that the poor misunderstood gang members will be few and far between and the majority of these men will be drug addicted killers of women and children?

I'd echo what other posters have said and consider contacting Age UK. Write to a lonely older person! That's seems a worthwhile and satisfying thing to do although I appreciate that it's not very exciting..

But a prisoner on DR? Be honest and admit that it's giving you some sort of thrill

This reminds me of the fellow Post Grad Student on my Post Grad Diploma Counselling course who told us earnestly that survivors of child Sexual Abuse could not truly 'move on' from their abuse until they had forgiven their abusers ...
AND visited Child abusers in prison to demonstrate their acceptance of it.

Lots of others in the circle of students of person-centred therapy, including the lecturers, nodded solemnly.

Then one person - the voice of sanity - stood up and said: 'as a survivor of child abuse I can tell you that you have not THE FIRST IDEA of what you are actually talking about, and if you think I need to do that you can fuck right off to 'person centred land'.

I applauded.

Agree with scottish. If you have Real Life experience to refer to you don't need to engage in theories about 'different views of humanity' and don't have much time for people satisfying their misplaced curiosity.

YY to Worra - Have a look at PostPals - if you want to make a difference

I think it is a nice thing to consider. Yes these people have done terrible things, but that doesn't mean you aren't doing something nice by writing to them. As someone who has encountered many offenders of all different crimes through work I would say be careful though. It can be really disappointing if you allow yourself to believe a persons story only to discover they are lying. Just remember not to get too drawn into whatever they say and try not to give too much of yourself.

What do you mean, you don't get the anger? It's fairly obvious. It makes me furious because I see absolutely no sensible reason that anyone would offer sympathy to someone who was in prison forever.

Surely thesortingtwat you can see that there are other points of view though? Even if you don't agree with them?

Why would a convicted criminal want some random stranger writing to them? They don't automatically lose the right or the ability to choose their friends when they have been convicted. And how would you choose who is more worthy? And by the way, not all convicted criminals are unpleasant and unloveable. Many are deeply loved by their families and many are really quite charming. (How do I know? Met them). The crimes they committed are like.y to be pretty unpleasant, obviously.

Plenty of people do have the stomach for this kind of thing for all the wrong reasons, and that's in no-one's best interests. (Refer to my earlier posts).

I think it's up to you what you do but be aware these types of criminals are very manipulative and usually charming and can sway your usual morals.

MrsDeVere, I think in my example it was because the theory was being pushed that you 'should' engage, as a survivor, to prove you have 'moved on'. I appreciate this isn't quite what the thread is about. But it reminded me.

I think the OP is probably naïve.
I also think if she has time and energy there are far more 'deserving' causes out there, imo.
I would wonder about the motivation and the likelihood of getting 'drawn in' emotionally is high. Plenty of examples of this.

Sounds like you are trying to satisfy some morbid curiosity. Stick to the crime programmes