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AIBU?

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Original poster

I'm so angry I may explode

120 replies

Edenviolet · 21/06/2015 17:22

For a while I've been 'losing' random things, leggings, tops, cardigans, eyeliner etc etc etc.

Thought I was being scatty and disorganised.

Gutted my room this weekend in prep for decorating and still couldn't find lost bits..... Just bumped into my cleaner who was wearing two of the items I've lost (one very distinctive) at first I thought no it can't be but as she scuttled off I thought wtf ? She looked mortified and I was speechless.

She still has a key and is due to come mon or tues. I'm so angry, I don't know why I didn't say something I think it was disbelief at first

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Original poster
Edenviolet · 21/06/2015 21:03

She usually takes dd1 to her physio/Pilates but he was unwell so couldn't today so I took her and on the way back the cleaner was by the shops

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Original poster
Edenviolet · 21/06/2015 21:04

Dh not she !

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Original poster
Edenviolet · 21/06/2015 21:06

I don't think I can say in detail what Google showed other than it all related to thefts and jail sentences were involved. As Ive called police I don't think I should give any more info than that

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needanewlook · 21/06/2015 21:17

Shocked that she has form after all. She probably gets referrals through word of mouth as she wouldn't be able to supply suitable references Hmm

CrystalHaze · 21/06/2015 21:24

Did you ask for references when you hired her? I know you say she was recommended by your previous cleaner, but (if I've understood correctly) you'd only known your previous cleaner for a short time too.

Original poster
Edenviolet · 21/06/2015 21:29

No references so I admit I've been foolish. The previous cleaner was very good but had to leave due to starting full time work and she recommended the current cleaner and said how good she was etc.
The first few times I was at home when she cleaned and she did a brilliant job, was friendly and nice (obviously all an act) and after four weeks of twice weekly cleaning with me there I gave her a key as we have so many hosp appts etc etc I can't always be there.

I should have been more careful and I do feel very foolish trusting her

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lljkk · 21/06/2015 21:57

Oh nuts, if she has so much form then she has a lots of problems.
I think my fury would turn to pity.
NOT saying you should still employ her. But easier to put it behind when you realise how big her problems must be.
Still must try to get your stuff back.
Better news than confirming you have dementia, I suppose??

CrystalHaze · 21/06/2015 22:04

Oh nuts, if she has so much form then she has a lots of problems.
I think my fury would turn to pity.

Why? Is it not possible that she's just a cheeky thieving cow?

Kitkatatonia · 21/06/2015 22:28

Whoops, that'll teach me to not read the posts properly Blush

TheHouseCleaner · 21/06/2015 23:11

Pity? What!!!!!

I cleaned houses for a less than impressive wage throughout treatment for life-threatening illness. I had babies to feed and no-one else was going to provide for them. Life wasn't exactly a bed of roses. It still isn't. Still there's no car outside, no holidays, no luxuries to speak of but I don't steal from my clients!

She doesn't need pity, she needs a criminal sentence.

ilovelamp82 · 21/06/2015 23:32

What did the police say?

SoldierBear · 22/06/2015 06:15

You'd feel Pity for a habitual criminal who has served time and steals from you and your children?
Really?
I'd feel bloody furious. And I'd feel pity for the victims of this females light fingered activities, not for the thief.
She is deliberately stealing and causing all sorts of grief. Okay, so far Hedgehog hasn't lost items of huge value (that she knows about) but that isn't the point. It is still theft and a betrayal of trust. Nobody actually needs eyeliner after all.

If it turns out that she'd stolen £100 a little old lady had hidden to pay her winter fuel bills, would you still feel pity for the thief?

hesterton · 22/06/2015 06:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

grapejuicerocks · 22/06/2015 09:16

Have you got details of these old ladies? The police need to visit them, to help build their case.

Chinhairscare · 22/06/2015 09:22

PLEASE PLEASE CALL THE POLICE and help protect other people from this woman! What a hideous abuse of trust!Sad

lapetitesiren · 22/06/2015 09:28

So glad you have called the police. Similar happened to me. The woman was a serial con artist and I was not the only victim. some of the others were very vulnerable. She pleaded ill health and got suspended community service. moved away and probably started again in the next place. It's a horrible crime. Until I found out I suspected friends-awful.

Chinhairscare · 22/06/2015 09:29

Sorry I see you've already called them. Well done.

Tangerineandturquoise · 22/06/2015 09:35

I am sorry it happened-and that you feel violated Flowers We used to trust a cleaner with a key but don't anymore it makes the cleaning day a pain for us and them but I feel better about it.

carolineannabel22 · 22/06/2015 16:06

Exactly the same thing happened to me and I kept losing things which was driving me scatty. Turned out the 20 yr old cleaner had nicked them. I asked her if she had "taken them home by mistake" and she did return a few items. I was pretty pissed off!!!

SolitaryInTheVoid · 22/06/2015 16:10

Yes, when I discover someone has been rummaging around in my children's toybox choosing things to steal, I pity them.

Nothing odd about that. Carry on.

grapejuicerocks · 22/06/2015 18:23

Any news?

sashh · 22/06/2015 20:52

I don't wish to alarm you but it might be worth getting a credit reference agency check.

www.callcredit.co.uk/consumer-solutions/help/credit-reference-agency.

I have used 'Merry Maids' in the past (when I could afford) and the are very good about checking staff criminal records. Not cheap but worth it.

Original poster
Edenviolet · 22/06/2015 21:36

Well, I gave a statement and listed all the items that are missing (tbh I'm expecting to find that other things are missing at some point but I have a lot of clutter so she will probably have gotten away with more than I realise).
The police, although helpful and sympathetic don't seem to be very confident of this actually going any further as she would have to admit to it which I doubt very much she will.

I found out her surname and address and gave them that info so hopefully they will have gone to see her. I wish there was a way of warning others what she's done to protect whoever else she cleans for but I've no way of finding out.
I text the person who recommended her and she replied with "I'm so sorry I had no idea. I would not have given you her details if I'd known this would happen." She has not recommended her to anyone else she said she only did to me as she knew this lady was a cleaner and as she had had to give her notice in with us and thought she was helping by finding us someone who could step in immediately. She said she does not know any of the others she cleans for unfortunately.

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AnyoneForTennis · 22/06/2015 21:49

You 'found out' her surname and address? Did you not get it at the point of employment?

Original poster
Edenviolet · 22/06/2015 22:06

She gave me a different surname so when I tried to google her yesterday (and find her on fb) I couldn't I then had to go to the fb I know she is associated with and scroll through the names on every 'like' and then check all with same first name to find her real surname.

She had not given me an address, only phone numbers and a false name

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