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For mil to present fil with professionally made cake and dh with a shitty supermarket one

112 replies

answersonapostcardplease · 20/06/2015 21:12

Dh have come to visit pil for dh's 40th and fil's 70th, its also father's day on sunday (as you'll be aware)

Its a flight away with 4 dcs in toe and expensive, so an effort.

Mil called everyone to the dining room for cakes, blowing out candles. On the table is a massive professionally made cake for fil and a shitty little morrison's one for dh.Angry

Am I being UR to think this is really unkind?

OP posts:
answersonapostcardplease · 20/06/2015 21:36

Mil insisted we came to visit. I'd rather not have. But I did for dh and dcs. How was I supposed to sort cake out?

OP posts:
PtolemysNeedle · 20/06/2015 21:40

Is there something going on like it being FILs birthday yesterday and your DHs being next month?

patienceisvirtuous · 20/06/2015 21:41

Too petty a reason to cause a feud.

Does DH care? The men in my family don't really care... this would be laughed off...

SayThisOnlyOnce · 20/06/2015 21:42

When are the dates of the actual birthdays?

patienceisvirtuous · 20/06/2015 21:42

*the men in my family don't really care about cake

MuttonCadet · 20/06/2015 21:45

There's this fabulous new invention called the internet which lets you contact companies in other countries and order stuff (like a cake for example).
Given the forum, I'm surprised you haven't heard of it. Wink
Sorry, there is clearly a huge backstory here, but on the evidence of the cake incident I think you should let this one go.

BettyRooster · 20/06/2015 21:46

Maybe she thought the kids would prefer the supermarket cake and the adults the other one, so she had both.

I agree it's too petty of an issue to mention. It's not like you weren't allowed any of the better cake, was it?

SilverBirchWithout · 20/06/2015 21:46

So it isn't actually your DH's birthday yet? It sounds as if because Mil has form, you are tending to find fault, where none was intended this time.

dougierose · 20/06/2015 22:18

Marie Antoinette made a fuss over cake and look what happened to her.

jeanmiguelfangio · 20/06/2015 22:23

My MIL served DH a birthday cake on his birthday that he couldnt eat. He has an allergy she refuses to believe is real, and they sat around eating it saying how nice it was and how we had to miss out, whilst he watched. I wish i was kidding, he was cross to say the least. If DH is miffed, then I'd be miffed. If not, i think id chalk it up to experience and be glad i dont live in the same country.

NorfolkEnchance · 20/06/2015 22:30

Sounds really shitty behaviour to me and personally I would really struggle not to say something. What has DH said?

Thymeout · 20/06/2015 22:45

Surely the big event here is FIL's 70th. You're doing something special for your DH's 40th on the actual day. The smaller cake is a token, showing that she's acknowledging it, but really it's FIL's day.

BackforGood · 20/06/2015 22:51

Your MiL organised a get together for her husband's 70th Birthday. She got a cake made for the occasion. As it is almost your dh's birthday, she kindly went a got a cake for him to 'have' at the party, even though it wasn't his party and you are getting him one for his birthday.
I genuinely can't see what she is supposed to have done wrong here.
Even if you think it's disappointing, it's certainly not worth making a fuss over Hmm

Griphook · 20/06/2015 22:54

Yabvu your fil is 70! It's not even your dh's birthday. I think if you said anything you might come of worse, and look a bit like you at starting something to create an argument

RJnomore · 20/06/2015 22:56

And I'm betting if she had ordered him a big professionally made cake you would be on here not posting about stolen thunder and how you've got one ordered.

I think it was rather nice she got one for him too.

chippednailvarnish · 20/06/2015 22:58

Eat the nice cake, leave her the shit one. Job done.

SoldierBear · 20/06/2015 23:00

Why did she get your DH a cake when it isn't even his birthday?
Posh cake for the actual birthday boy, supermarket one for the unbirthday boy sounds ok.

LittleBearPad · 20/06/2015 23:02

I'm really struggling to see that this is sooooooo bad. They both had cakes - it isn't DH's birthday yet. Calm down. It's not worth the stress.

m0therofdragons · 20/06/2015 23:05

She bought her dh a nice cake. Maybe she thought you might get your dh a nice cake? Why is it up to her? Maybe I'm missing something.

Luckyfellow · 20/06/2015 23:05

I don't get what you are cross about at all. She got her DH a cake. You are getting your DH a cake. Everybody is getting a cake. Wonderful.

LapsedTwentysomething · 20/06/2015 23:06

You're getting your own husband a professionally-made cake ... on his birthday. Your MIL has provided a token gesture prior to his birthday. No issue.


m0therofdragons · 20/06/2015 23:08

Maybe fil had a shit cake for his 40th so 70 is the age for a good one.
You sound like a huffy teen - "I didn't want to come but did for dh and dc" yes well welcome to family life.

MomOfTwoGirls2 · 20/06/2015 23:20


member · 20/06/2015 23:35

YABU, it sounds as if there's history here but you need to pick your battles. It isn't actually your dh' birthday yet & presumably you haven't been banned from eating the specially made cake? You haven't said what your dh's thoughts were?

RB68 · 20/06/2015 23:35

They flew there so likely not in same country and a cake and plane trip don't exactly help. If MIL hosting I would assume she was organizing cake but I would likely have asked prior to the event - do you have cakes sorted or do I need to get one for DH? Or poss even offering to order and purchase cake for DH. But yes if expected to buy by MIL I would have been annoyed given she was hosting, he is her son, its at her premises and she has you guys flying there.

Annoying but not the end of the world - have your own family cake another time

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