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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I know I am but I just need to get it off my chest

33 replies

slightlyconfused85 · 20/06/2015 20:49

Dh and I have had his siblings and cousins over totalling 8 adults plus our 2 year old for a barbeque. About 8pm they decided they'd go off into town for drinks etc and catch the bus in 20 mins. Assumed I'd just be staying here with 2 year old, which of course I have as it's not like I can arrange babysitting with no notice. I thought we'd be having drinks (soft for me as 8 months pregnant) at home as siblings are staying over too. Suddenly I'm home alone with a house to tidy, no invitation to join them and not enough time to arrange otherwise. Feel royally pissed off and left out - would have been nice to have been considered seeing as I've spent all day hosting them and they are staying here. Dh is away for work next week too so it would have been nice to have company tonight. Will get over it but if I don't vent then I will def bu to dh when he gets back

OP posts:
Horsemad · 20/06/2015 20:51

YADefinitelyNBU!

CaptainAnkles · 20/06/2015 20:51

I don't think you're being that unreasonable actually - I'd be rather pissed off if everybody had eaten food and made a mess and then buggered off for a nice evening out leaving me behind to clean up and look after a small child. I'm not surprised you feel deflated.

RandomMess · 20/06/2015 20:51

That sucks, I would be seriously unhappy. Can't believe they didn't at the very least help clear up before they abandoned you on your own!

redexpat · 20/06/2015 20:52

I dont think yabu.

PresidentTwonk · 20/06/2015 20:53

YANBU!! I'd be Angry

NotNob · 20/06/2015 20:54

I would feel the same, OP, especially with an invitation lacking. Could you not leave some of the tidying, especially as you are 8 months pregnant; you must be tired? Flowers

LibrariesGaveUsPower · 20/06/2015 20:54

That is massively rude. Massively.

Ilovenannyplum · 20/06/2015 20:54

YANBU - I would be royally pissed off if I were you

HumphreyCobbler · 20/06/2015 20:54

I would be livid. That is extremely rude of them all.

LongDistanceLove · 20/06/2015 20:54

Yanbu at all. Angry Sad

LibrariesGaveUsPower · 20/06/2015 20:55

Do NOT do all their tidying. Just don't.

Original poster
slightlyconfused85 · 20/06/2015 20:55

I might just have a nice bath, read a book and leave the house in a mess. Dh and his bro can do it in the morning! I would have loved to have gone out just for a bit of social activity- don't get out that much with work, toddler and pregnancy. A bit of notice and I could have got a babysitter pretty easily, dm would have offered but no way am I going to take the piss and call on her with no notice. Thanks for saying I'm not bu! Smile

OP posts:
Jackw · 20/06/2015 21:05

YANBU. Thoughtless and selfish of them all but especially your H. Definitely leave the clearing up plus don't cater breakfast. You can tell your H that you are expecting some spoiling in return for you enabling this little jaunt.

scarlets · 20/06/2015 21:10

Leave some of the housework for your OH to do in the morning.

When you get up tomorrow, go shopping/swimming/whatever for an hour or two. Alone.

FryOneFatManic · 20/06/2015 21:11

Absolutely leave them the mess to clear up, YANBU in the slightest.

BitchBags · 20/06/2015 21:12

Yanbu at all! Please leave all of the tidying to them and go and relax and enjoy the peace and quiet. I am Shock that they could actually be that rude to bugger off and leave you alone.

Cantbelievethisishappening · 20/06/2015 21:13

That is just rude. YANBU

crazykat · 20/06/2015 21:13

I'd have a nice bath and go to bed. Leave the tidying for them to do tomorrow.

Yanbu in the least, especially at 8 months pregnant. I'd have gone batshit and locked them all out, regretting it when I felt bad and had to get up to let them in.

Don't tidy a thing just sort ds and yourself out and have a relaxing evening in bed. Let them deal with the mess.

Original poster
slightlyconfused85 · 20/06/2015 21:15

Thanks all. Dd has been asleep for a while, bath is running and I've totally cracked out the chocolate. I'm looking forward to pushing Dh out of bed with dd when she wakes up (early) and then buggering off for a bit of me time in the morning. Smile

OP posts:
TheOddity · 20/06/2015 21:15

Ooph I am so cross for you. Do not lift a finger tonight and I agree be out at hangover/breakfast time. Trip to your mum's for a cuppa then or some nice cafe breakfast for you and toddler. How horrible of them all. So thoughtless and selfish.

maddening · 20/06/2015 21:16

if you were my dd and I knew you were in your last month before the upheaval of a new born along with a 2yo and I was home I would definitely not mind you calling me at an unexpected opportunity to go out for a few drinks with friends, it's still not too late.

TheOddity · 20/06/2015 21:17

Oh yes! Leave toddler if he is trustworthy with a hangover, even better!

expatinscotland · 20/06/2015 21:23

YANBU. Leave it for them to clean up.

Original poster
slightlyconfused85 · 20/06/2015 21:42

My dm is lovely but doesn't drive so getting her here would have taken a while on public transport and they would have been long gone! If they had just said about 6-7pm then I could have arranged it but they didn't. No one even acknowledged me! Getting very cross about it in the bath, raging hormones not helping!

OP posts:
Georgethesecond · 20/06/2015 21:46

Whatever you do, DO nOT tidy the house! They can do it.