Non faith school re-arranging events because of eid

[reikizen]

My daughter's primary school is a large multicultural one, but is not a faith school. They sent a letter tonight saying the year 6 leavers assembly has been rearranged to accommodate children who may be kept off school for eid. This means I can't now go as I have to request my shifts at work well in advance and did so on the information the school originally gave. I am really cross and feel like contacting the school as I can't understand why the personal preferences of a certain group of parents should trump all other considerations. I know of at least 3 other year 6 parents who can't attend the new date, and my daughter will be very upset when I tell her. Would you complain?

That's right MistressMia, blame it on the Muslims!!! Of course its all their fault. Maybe some had mentioned it, maybe more mentioned it when it occurred to them. who knows.

Why do you feel the need to say that as the prayers are held in Arabic it will all be lost of those who don't speak Arabic? What nonsense. Its a time of coming together and doing the prayer, you still feel a lot even if you don't understand every single word that is said. And anyway, lots of mosques have sermons in Arabic and English, but then I suppose its a while since you sat through one. Yes, children will enjoy the sweets and presents and so on but I think it would be a very unfulfilling Eid if going to the prayers weren't included. I know lots of Christians don't go to church on Christmas day, say imagine having Christmas without the dinner or with no decorations up or perhaps not spending it with the people you usually spend it with, it wouldn't feel right.

Its the schools fault, plain and simple.

If I recall correctly MistressMia is a muslim - albeit one who is very disillusioned with it all.

I think MistressMia would be most unimpressed at being classed as a Muslim.

Thats neither here nor there.

The point Im making is that we just don't know who we are talking to when we say things like 'thats right lets blame it on Muslims' .

decision Its not about apportioning blame, its about being pragmatic and compromising. Somebody has to. Why does it have to be the non-muslims ? Its a muslim event that is causing the clash. Make a choice which is the more important to you and attend that.

It wasn't that long ago that muslim women didn't wholesale go to the mosque on Eid anyway. Very few of my mothers generation did and neither did girls from puberty onwards. I expect that has all changed and yes I can understand the sense of inclusiveness in being there, but then sometimes it's not to be.

Teaching children that sometimes compromises have to be made and something has to be forsaken is a valuable lesson in itself. Part of living in a multi-cultural, multi-faith society is give and take on both sides. In this case its a couple of hours. Not the whole day.

For many muslims without family in the UK the primary celebration of the Eid day is the Eid prayer. That's where you can dress up, see the rest of the community and celebrate your accomplishments together. It is simply not true that it is unimportant or irrelevant.

It's sad to see on a parenting site people showing so much open hostility towards children. What an ugly thread.

5secondstilltakeoff what about the children like the OPs who were looking forward to having their parents there ?

....newsflash: Eid al-Adha coming up on September 22-23, 2015 . Not exactly far away. You can dress up etc then.

Also all through Ramadan the mosques have special evening prayers on nightly. Nothing to stop you taking the kids to these at the weekend for some community bonding.

Granted that the school made a mistake in not realising that they had planned the leavers' assembly for a day which is likely to be a religious holiday for a number of the year 6 children, what they have done once the mistake is realised is what any school should do - to put the interests of the children above those of the parents. It may be disappointing for some children not to have their parents there, but it would be far worse for other children not to be able to take part at all.

It wasnt that long ago that 'Pakistani' muslim women didn't wholesale go to the mosque on Eid

Please dont project your cultural customs on to all muslims. My mother and even my grandmothers generation attended Eid prayers in the mosque. There are muslims that exist outside of Pakistan you know. Also I have grown up seeing Pakistani women at Eid prayers so even in that case I think you are massively generalising.

So basically you think that one child's parents attendance is more important than the children they actually teach attending? The school changed it for the kids not their parents. I would not have attended school as a child on eid day. It would have been madness.

Its very unusual where I live even for women to pray at the mosque any day let alone at Eid.

There are provisions for them but they're rarely used.

Oh and by the way evening prayers start around 11pm. Not many children attending that I think.

I'm referring to UK muslims, the majority of whom in the past and even now are of Pakistani origin.

Like I said, I accept that more women now attend the mosque than used to and I don't doubt that women from other countries have always had a tradition of doing so. However, the majority of first generation muslims in this country, who were in the main Pakistani, did not do so.

Not sure what the relevance of this is anyway. I'm not saying don't go to the mosque. Your choice. Just changing the assembly around at such short notice has benefited muslims but has had negative consequences on some non-muslims, which is unfair because there is absolutely nothing the latter can do about it.

I think MistressMia has a point that a way could have been found round this by the parents. Eid will most likely fall on Saturday so Monday will be the third day of Eid by which it all gets pretty boring. The most important thing is attending Eid prayers on the first day and then spending family time. My children only take the first day off and if there is something happening at school they go in. If dh has something important at work he will even go in on the first day. He would never say he couldn't make it.

So what does that prove weebirdie that the women where you live have facilities to use in the mosque and they choose not to use them. What great insight are you giving.

Then go earlier and break your fast at the mosque.

MistressMia, in the same way, why does it have to be the Muslims who compromise?

Parents should take their children to the Taraweeh prayers if they want to feel a sense of community? Really?? Any idea what time of night they start? That would be a really sensible thing to do on a school night. Aside from that, they still aren't the Eid prayers. Parent do take their children to taraweeh prayers but it isn't the Eid prayer. You know that.

Lots of women all over the world attend Eid prayers, the whole world don't follow what some Pakistani groups in the Uk choose to do!

Weebirdie, MistressMia has posted many times on this forum and made her views on Islam quite clear so I had a fair idea who I was talking to.

Changing the assembly at short notice has benefited children. Who cares if they are muslim or not?

MistressMia your comments must be the stupidest thing I have ever heard on MN.

Firstly, this is not a Muslim vs non Muslim issue. This is a crap planning issue on the part of the school. Muslim parents and children have done nothing wrong here, and neither have the parents who have been disadvantaged by the school changing the date.

Secondly, Muslims exist outside of Pakistan and its diaspora.

Thirdly, all the mosques I have been to in the UK repeat the sermon in English and sometimes other languages too during prayers. On the basis that not all Muslims understand Arabic should we get rid of the Quran while we're at it?

Fourthly, Eid al Fitr and Eid al Adha celebrations are very different where I am. Eid al Fitr we have new clothes, sweets and celebrate the end of fasting where Eid al Adha is almost exclusively about distributing meat and eating as a family.

Finally, there are just over two months between the two Eids. Not a massive difference between that and the number of days between Christmas and Easter. Should we make that one or the other two?

Your posts have really wound me up and I do send my DD to school on Eid sometimes.

5seconds - I am a Muslim and have lived for almost 40 years in the ME with my Muslim husband and 5 Muslim children.

I think because of that I do have a bit of insight.

Weebirdie, MistressMia has posted many times on this forum and made her views on Islam quite clear so I had a fair idea who I was talking to.

right oh.

I think its a great shame that this thread has actually been brought to it knees by Muslims.

It is unreasonable of the school to change the date if there are a tiny minority of muslim children in the school. Let them choose which is more important. However if there is a sizable amount then is there a point to holding the assembly when a large proportion of the leavers wont be there? Presumably they have parts to play in the assembly that will be difficult to fill if lot of children are off.

I think people need to do a pretend spit over their shoulder and say "astaghfirullah" what with it being Ramadan and all that.

You have an insight about the place where you live and the people you live amongst. Not muslims as a whole. My customs are just as much a part of the muslim experience as yours and I dont appreciate wide sweeping pronouncements about how muslim women behave which ignore my experiences. Be specific. Arab women in x country. Pakistani women. Or even better some arab/pakistani wome .