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AIBU?

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Original poster

Non faith school re-arranging events because of eid

253 replies

reikizen · 19/06/2015 17:30

My daughter's primary school is a large multicultural one, but is not a faith school. They sent a letter tonight saying the year 6 leavers assembly has been rearranged to accommodate children who may be kept off school for eid. This means I can't now go as I have to request my shifts at work well in advance and did so on the information the school originally gave. I am really cross and feel like contacting the school as I can't understand why the personal preferences of a certain group of parents should trump all other considerations. I know of at least 3 other year 6 parents who can't attend the new date, and my daughter will be very upset when I tell her. Would you complain?

OP posts:
lilivonshtupp · 20/06/2015 02:06

Professions such a midwives don't cope well at all with unexpected cancellations. (I know, I'm medical profession too.)

If you are sick, the others usually pick up the slack, patients and clinics are cancelled, colleagues are overstretched. It's why there is a 'keep calm and carry on' mentality that means people often go in when they should really be at home.

And yes, days off have to be booked in months in advance, so that rotas can be managed. It's stressful for all involved for someone to be ill. That is why taking a day off for an assembly is a bit laughable in the OPs case. That's why the whole 'day change for religious reasons' is a big deal.

nocoolnamesleft · 20/06/2015 02:57

I think the best explanation I can give of the effect of NHS leave policies on not just staff but their wider families is to quote a phonecall from my DM some years ago:

"I'm sorry to have to tell you that your grandma's died, but it's okay, I've told everyone we can't have the funeral until you've finished your night shifts"

Shakshuka · 20/06/2015 03:12

In NYC and other school districts with lots of Jewish children and teachers, all public schools - which are all secular (in theory at least) - close for Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashana. It's too much hassle for the schools to be missing so many kids and teachers.

like others have said, the principle is fine but they could have easily set the date to avoid any clashes months ago. That's what I'd be annoyed about.

Hope you manage to swap shifts with someone op.

Weebirdie · 20/06/2015 03:30

Sadwidow why are you referring to an Egyptian family as being part of the caste system?

And Im sorry, but as someone who's lived for 40 years in the ME I really do have to take your story with a pinch of salt.

ilovesooty · 20/06/2015 05:02

BrumBabe your subsequent post doesn't alter my opinion. You kept your daughter off and lied on a day that the school was open. The school had given time off for religious observance but it was open for other pupils and ten years old is quite old enough to understand that concept. You don't lie that you're ill and take the day off work because some of your fellow workers have been given time off to practise their faith.
Why should the school book teacher training for that day? That would have excluded Muslim teachers. Had it occurred to you that the trainers might be Muslim too?

LittleElephant1 · 20/06/2015 05:43

DecisionsDecisions123 do you think your dismissive description of Christmas might be a bit high handed and offensive to people of the Christian faith?

"It doesn't quite work like that, people go for Eid prayers in the morning. It isn't just a bit of present opening and watching TV for the rest of the day."

Personally I'm an atheist, but if we are going to insist on respect for religious beliefs, let's apply it to all religions, shall we?

MerryMarigold · 20/06/2015 06:39

Our school has had a day off for Eid on 17th July for ages, in calendar. So I suppose they must have some inkling of when it is.

School's fault totally.

NorahDentressangle · 20/06/2015 07:02

How will things end. People who move to the UK then spend their lives on Skype to their family at home.

I spose as they are on Skype all the time they will never mix with society so have no need to integrate. So it doesn't matter.

Seems a shame though. I wonder if their home family will always want to spend hours on Skype with them.

sashh · 20/06/2015 07:17

OP was the assembly planned for Saturday?

Or are you making this up?

sashh · 20/06/2015 07:26

I've just read another of your posts. No the children do not have to be in school, all children get 2 days for religious events every year.

OnlyThePurpleOnes · 20/06/2015 07:46

FuzzyWuzzy where are you in the Middle East that Christmas is a national holiday?

keeptothewhiteline · 20/06/2015 07:47

sashh- Well spotted!! Eid is on a Saturday this year!!

TalisaStark · 20/06/2015 07:47

A simple solution would be to ask the head to let them do it twice!

Just say to the head that in light of the fact that parents have made arrangements that can't be changed to attend the original date but can't attend the new one you would like the children to do both the original and new dates - I'm a teacher and it's common in schools to have the same performance done on more than one occasion - they will have to adapt it for any children missing the same as if children were off for any other reason.

I'm sure the Year 6 children would love to do the performance they've worked so hard on more than once.

GoblinLittleOwl · 20/06/2015 07:51

Yes you should complain. They would/should have realized that Eid would have an impact and arranged the dates accordingly.
The Year 6 Leavers Assembly is important for many parents and they do like to attend, -last one- and it does cause problems for working parents if dates are changed at the last moment and they have already booked time off. I even had an employer ringing me, (class teacher) to check if the date really had been changed, because her cleaner wanted to change her times. It had been due to hall being double booked; our fault; I had no idea how many difficulties it would cause, and I never did it again.

anon33 · 20/06/2015 08:24

This is the school's problem, not the fact that it is actually Eid. As a PP pointed out the approx eid dates are in a 5 year calendar. it will fall between two dates according to moon sighting, for example either 17/18 July. The school should have foreseen this.

Weebirdie · 20/06/2015 08:28

sashh- Well spotted!! Eid is on a Saturday this year!!

Eid might be on a Saturday this year but it all depends on the sighting of the moon.

anon33 · 20/06/2015 08:28

I have lived in the Middle East where christianity was (obviously) a minority (approx 3 %) Christian holidays were automatically granted as authorized absences for non muslim children (there were lots of other religions that took advantage of the day off too) and shopping centres had christmas trees and decorations. When you are a minority you often given more precedence to a holiday thatn you might give it in your "home" country.

Isetan · 20/06/2015 09:41

Op I understand your upset but this is just poor planning on the schools part and I would definitely complain about that, although I am envious of the notice they gave because my DD's school routinely give a days notice for a lot of stuff.

The reason for the change is a bit of a red herring tbh, the law says that schools can give time off for the observance of religious festivals.

As for the poster lying to her child's school because of her inability to teach her child that accommodating different needs isn't inequality, is inexcusable. In my DD's class a boy has recently returned from attending a funeral halfway across the world and therefore was granted leave, DD didn't demand that she have the same amount of time off.

The amount of anti Hala/ Ramadan/ Eid etc bullshit threads, dressed up as a concern for equality is really beginning to get on my tits.

sashh · 20/06/2015 10:18

Eid might be on a Saturday this year but it all depends on the sighting of the moon.

But if you can't see the moon it will be Sunday won't it? Have I got that totally wrong?

meditrina · 20/06/2015 10:25

But it's been know for yonks that it'll fall around 17/18 July.

So why not plan the assembly on the 16th in the first place?

And if needs less than a months notice, give that amount of time - ie announce around now.

But it's wrong to change dates once they have been announced, unless of course you actually want to piss off the type of diligent parent who attaches importance to what is going on in school and plans other aspects of family life round it.

Basically this school has fucked up its planning.

Weebirdie · 20/06/2015 10:39

Sashh, Eid could also be on the Friday depending when you started as people fast for 29 or 30 days.

MerryMarigold · 20/06/2015 11:15

Yup, hence our school is shut on 17th.

LuisSuarezTeeth · 20/06/2015 11:31

Its like the twilight zone in here today Hmm

decisionsdecisions123 · 20/06/2015 11:51

LittleElephant1

DecisionsDecisions123 do you think your dismissive description of Christmas might be a bit high handed and offensive to people of the Christian faith?

"It doesn't quite work like that, people go for Eid prayers in the morning. It isn't just a bit of present opening and watching TV for the rest of the day."

Personally I'm an atheist, but if we are going to insist on respect for religious beliefs, let's apply it to all religions, shall we?

At what point did I mention Christmas or make reference to it??? Please don't make assumptions. Or perhaps your view of Christmas is that people just open presents then spend the rest of the day watching TV. I have no idea. People celebrate Christmas in a variety of ways. I am aware of this. I wrote that to point out that going in to a morning assembly wouldn't really work. I have no idea why you felt the need to let me know that you are atheist either.

cleanmachine · 20/06/2015 17:16

We've been told eid can only be sat or Sunday as everyone stayed the fast together. There's no way it can be on the Fri (incidentally when all the schools here are breaking up for summer). Hmm mm. .. seems the hilarious sadwidow (do come back dear you are actually very funny) isn't the only being disingenuous with the truth.