To ask DH not to eat all the food?

[CustardDragon]

It's really beginning to grate on my nerves. DH is fairly overweight (think bmi of about 32) and constantly eats massive amounts. It has always annoyed me when we go out for dinner and I have regular amounts, like a main and a dessert, but he orders half the menu which makes it very expensive. What is most annoying though, is that he eats everything I get for myself as well. I don't really like the idea of 'my food' and 'his food', but because I have quite a restricted diet (vegetarian and can't have a lot of lactose either) and he eats everything, I have had to get stuff I can have for work lunches and stuff. But he eats it all.

This week, he ate all his meat stuff. Then he ate all the bread. And all the cheese. He puts two or three condiments in each sandwich (salad cream, mustard and ketchup, all together??).

Money is quite tight and I am getting fed up of having to buy expensive lunches at work because there is nothing left when I get up :(

Well, I'd urge you to read the OP's posts and the thread.
What he makes is largely unhealthy. I'm sure he can buy his own stuff and choose his own food, according to preferences. He doesn't need her to do it for him.

In all likelihood she has become this "controlling" person because he is going through it all regardless of what it is for. She is left with no food to take to work, FGS!

He is responsible for his own behaviour.

yoursfan

are you obese?
are you the husband?
do you binge eat?
do you have a "controlling" partner?

Then she needs to buy enough food when she goes shopping and she won't have that problem, will she.

She doesn't "need" to do anything for him.

He needs to respect the food she has bought for herself.

He needs to go and buy more food for himself if he wants more.

Or she should buy enough food when she goes shopping in the first place and respect that her husband has different nutritional needs to her and her silly special rabbit food. Not rocket science. Shop properly!

I keep refreshing but nothing's happening!

Can't believe the criticism of the OP for not shopping and cooking properly for her husband. It's not normally so 1950s around here!

OP, I'd a) stop cooking for him, and b) stop buying meat, if it's not something you eat yourself. He's a grown man. Let him do his own shopping and cooking and eat himself to an early grave. Tell him that since he only thinks of himself when he eats the food for your lunches, or moans about your cooking, you are going to do the same.

I see no reference in the OP or subsequent posts to a 'tiny' pie so you've made that up to have a go at the OP yourfan.

FWIW OP it sounds grim and like he either a) has a compulsive eating disorder or b) is very selfish in that he doesn't care about leaving enough to eat for the both of you.

Tbh from the complaining, whinging and overeating you've described, as well as leaving the food prep to you, he doesn't sound very nice.

Have you managed to speak to him about what kinds of portions he wants/needs? If he wants totally different food to yours I can't see why you should be preparing separate meals if you both work full time...

"A) BMIs mean nothing - a man with well developed muscles has a higher BMI and may not necessarily be fat at all, in fact many athletes have ridiculously high BMIs and B) A tiny pie and a salad is NOT a proper meal for a man. If she fed her husband properly in the first place, perhaps he wouldn't need to binge!"

As to A. that's why I said "unless he's a weightlifter". To have a high BMI but not be obese, he would have to be exercising. Nowhere does the OP say this. Athletes tend to be very body conscious and don't eat the kind of crap described by the OP even when very hungry. They go out and buy appropriate foods for their needs.

B. Where is this "tiny pie" idea coming from? You seem to be the one obsessed with the size of the pie. The OP said it was an individual pie. IME they're hugely variable.

This woman is utterly ridiculous, not knowing how to feed a bloody man so that he has to binge.

That sentence alone is utterly ridiculous.

And utter sexist twattiness.

FFS. 'Shop properly'. Really?

I think we should contact the DM: woman doesn't feed man properly, so he has to binge eat.

It's still crap, Gabilan. Not proper meals. She says she likes to cook for him but she's feeding him crap, in small portions (the kind she would eat) and then complaining when he still needs to eat. An individual pie maybe contains a couple of chunks of processed chicken, maybe a few bits of processed veg and a shitload of sauce, and a bit of pastry. That is not in any way shape or form an adequate meal for a man. He's hungry.

And I've asked her several times what he does for a living and she has not answered. What if he has an active job in which he walks miles a day? Would you all still be calling him a greedy fucker then?

How the hell is an individual pie not enough for a person?? That's kind of the point of them.

Custard, you have my sympathies. I am in a very similar situation with my DH.

He's put on five stone in the last three years. His BMI is now 30, so "obese". He is wrecking his health. The weight gain has given him a fatty liver, as well as sinus problems, sleep problems, back problems ... but he still clears out the fridge and cupboards.

My grocery bills are over £100 a week for two adults, and that does not include alcohol, desserts or snacky things (neither of us drink, so I can't even blame beer for it).

To top it all off, the situation is getting worse and, like you, I do not know what to do about it.

I will come down in a morning to find huge amounts of food have vanished from the fridge. Big blocks of cheese will go in about two days. Boxes of crackers last a day. Any cooked meat just disappears. I will roast a reasonable-sized beef joint at the weekend with the idea that it will do for lunch through the week after the meal, and it will be gone by Monday evening. I've known him to consume two tubs of taramasalata in a couple of days and a fortnight ago, I opened a 750g tub of peanut butter that I had bought the week before to find it empty -- there was something like 3000 calories in that tub and he had eaten the lot at the same time as having eggs for breakfast, a cooked lunch and a proper dinner at night.

In the past, I've bulk-cooked lasagne or moussaka, and he has eaten eat three large family-sized dishes in a day and a half. He once ate an entire stewpot full of bolognaise sauce made from one kilo of mince in twelve hours. I made it during the afternoon to freeze in portions; when I got up the next morning, the pan was empty.

And, like your experience, he is actually screwing up my nutritional needs because when I shop, I think about meals and food groups and different types of protein so that we get a balanced diet, but before I know it ... all the fish has been eaten, all the cheese has gone, he has fried up the chicken and eaten it (he ate over a kilo of chicken in 24 hours a few weeks ago). I have been left with just toast or white rice on many occasion.

And I hate to say it, but there has been a bit of gaslighting over the issue in the past. It wasn't until I started tracking where food was going that I realised just how much he was eating in a week.

There are a few causes that I have identified ... whether they will help you, I don't know.

1. My DH works from home so makes meals during the day himself and obviously has the opportunity to snack.

2. He eats stupidly fast, and he was trained to do this by his mother's rushing to finish meal times when he was young.

3. The problem seemed to accelerate when he started buying and drinking iced coffee drinks. They are full of sugar and I think they screwed his system up somehow.

I have done everything I can to support and help him tackle the problem. You would think that an ultra-sound scan showing the fat in his liver would shake him into action, but it hasn't.

God knows where it will end up.

Goady as fuck.

Yoursfan, you fool - "shes' not feeding him, he is overfeeding himself. By taking all the food available in the house.
Read the posts, there's a darling.
Then catch your bus back to the 1950's. Don't miss it!

Ah, yoursfan you seem overly emotionally invested in this and I love that you consider a husband a 'prize' - only to be awarded to 'deserving' women
Better stock up on and everything else to ensure your DP has enough to keep them invested in the relationship. And if they leave you a few crumbs you can rejoice in their generosity.

yours, please feel free to join the 21st century whenever you're ready. He's a grown man. If he doesn't like his wife's cooking, he should get off his arse and do his own meals and shopping. Why is it all down to her?

Yoursfan Would you all still be calling him a greedy fucker then?
From your previous post, no, i wouldn't, but I'd still call him a selfish one.

At the point where he eats food the OP is meant to eat the next day and leaves no food at all at home, then he is you are a greedy fucker.

Perhaps if she cooked him proper meals in the first place, Dontlaugh, he wouldn't need to.

Wow yoursfan projecting much?