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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to fast during Ramadan even though I'm not a Muslim...

234 replies

MrsStrawberry · 18/06/2015 21:47

Not Muslim, or even religious at all in general. Have many Muslim friends and whilst never tempted to take part before have recently been looking into it more and like the idea behind it... But don't want to mention it to anyone as I think I sound like a pretentious twat Grin

OP posts:
Teacup246 · 21/06/2015 12:44

Same every year for the last few years

I used to love those days when hardly anyone knew about Ramadan, could spend the whole month fasting without anyone knowing and didn't have to put up with stupid comments from people

xiaozhu · 21/06/2015 13:01

But why? Latent Islamophobia, I assume?

xiaozhu · 21/06/2015 13:04

I mean, perhaps I'm giving them too much credit, but I was under the impression that most MNers were a bit more enlightened than say, the average Daily Mail reader - or at least they like to think they are... I guess threads like these really lift the scales.

OliveCane · 21/06/2015 13:12

Go for it OP! Smile It's a great way to learn self-control, realise how many blessings you have, will make you think about the billions less fortunate than you, and the millions who can't even get a meal a day.

Teacup246 · 21/06/2015 13:19

xiaozhu

A lot of people are anti religion these days, religion is to be made a joke of and scorned it

Islam is particularly targeted, same inane comments every year

xiaozhu · 21/06/2015 13:31

It's sad that the OP should have been mocked and ridiculed for wanting to embrace and understand more about another religion/culture.

I really think some of the posters on this thread should take a long, hard look at themselves.

Teacup246 · 21/06/2015 13:33

I agree, it is a shame that the OP was mocked

Nothing wrong with trying something different, it is because it is associated with religion. If OP had said I want to try sky diving, I am pretty sure every post would have been supportive

TeAmoReally · 21/06/2015 13:38

xiaozhu, Teacup246 This thread hasn't been anti-religion or castigated Islam at all. The people that disagreed with the OP fasting did so as they considered it to be wrong to appropriate another culture in such a blasé manner. Ramadan, as it was pointed out upthread, is more than just not eating for a few weeks. Those that agreed it was a good idea did so on the basis of solidarity or exploring a new culture/religion etc.

Islam has not been scorned at on this thread. There are other debates to be had about the role of Islam in modern society - and I presume those that come out against it will be told how racist or Islamophobic they are being. The "bitchiness" or "vitriol" you both suggest is nothing more than people disagreeing with each other.

People that seek to be on the defensive and declare 'Islamophobia' any time a thread or topic about Islam or Muslims come along are doing it a great disservice.

xiaozhu · 21/06/2015 13:39

It's terrifying how deep intolerance runs in our society.

As Al Rayyan pointed out though, I think a lot of it has to do with people not getting out from behind their TVs/computer screens and actually meeting different types of people. I mean, it's not like you have to travel to the Middle East to meet an actual real life Muslim these days...

xiaozhu · 21/06/2015 13:42

There have been some people on here who've suggested that fasting is 'pretentious', TeAmoReally. I find that pretty hateful.

And how was the OP blase? She doesn't have to convert in order to try and understand someone else's point of view.

Koalafications · 21/06/2015 13:45

This thread has got a bit nasty... Hmm

xiaozhu · 21/06/2015 13:51

Exactly, Koala - when I can see absolutely no reason why it should have done, other than the obvious: that some people just cannot handle talking about religion (particularly Islam) without getting nasty.

And this assumption that the OP was being 'disrespectful' or 'blase' is also pretty revealing. Like posters think that all Muslims are so sensitive and get offended so easily that treating the subject of Ramadan with anything less than quivering reverence is going invoke their anger? Actually, Muslims are quite a lot like everyone else... As you can tell from the 'go for it' responses from Muslims who've responded on this thread.

CactusAnnie · 21/06/2015 13:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IPityThePontipines · 21/06/2015 13:58

It is like this every year about Ramadan, sadly.

There was once an AIBU about finding religious fasting admirable. Ouch.

TeAmoReally · 21/06/2015 13:59

xiaozhu
It's terrifying how deep intolerance runs in our society

I honestly think some people enjoy playing victim instead of engaging in reasonable debate. Yes there is intolerance in our society, but this thread is not proof of that. In fact this thread has been wildly in support of tolerance and respect.

I didn't say the OP was blasé, what I was implying was that those who thought OP should not fast because of Ramadan, were doing so because they thought the OP was making light of what is actually a long-standing, traditional practice of a culture and religion.

The references to 'pretentious' actually stem from the OP's own words "But don't want to mention it to anyone as I think I sound like a pretentious twat." So the OP was actually asking others if it sounded pretentious Turns out that some thought it did and others thought it didn't.

Some posters have suggested that fasting is not healthy, others have said it did them a world of good. The fasting in itself was not the pretentious aspect, so you got that wrong.

MN although not representative of wider society is actually a very PC arena so when you say: "I mean, perhaps I'm giving them too much credit, but I was under the impression that most MNers were a bit more enlightened than say, the average Daily Mail reader - or at least they like to think they are... I guess threads like these really lift the scales.." You are not helping or being informative. You are doing the cause a great disservice. One of the problems about debating race, religion and similar topics are those who shout down or dismiss other views as racist or ignorant. Saying that the OP should not fast because it's Ramadan does not a racist make.

CookPassBabtrigde · 21/06/2015 14:04

One of my best friends from school is a Muslim, and when she was fasting, I wouldn't eat either. I wasn't actively partaking in Ramadan, but it was like a small gesture of solidarity and she had some company at lunchtime without having to go and sit in the canteen. I didn't realise I was being 'pretentious' Hmm
So many non Christians participate in Lent, I'm not sure I can see the difference.

Also, when we fasted we were excused from P.E...NOT that that was the reason for me joining her, but it was a lovely bonus Wink

decisionsdecisions123 · 21/06/2015 14:06

I disagree with the poster who thinks that most Muslims will only agree with a non Muslims fasting in the hope that they become Muslim. I think they will agree with the idea and not be offended simply because its a nice thing to do and not in the least bit insulting. Satisfying one's curiosity. That's simply all its about.

WorraLiberty · 21/06/2015 14:08

Very well said TeAmoReally

I composed and deleted a couple of posts earlier, because I wanted to say a similar thing but I don't quite have your eloquence Grin

Also, I think the whole question itself may have brought about mild irritation, as (whether intentional or not), it comes across as a little bit 'look at me'.

Fasting is a personal thing, so I think do it or don't. If the OP is wary of coming across as pretentious to her many muslim friends, she only has to explain her reasoning. Either way, even if every muslim on MN tells her she wont, her friends might think differently, considering how individual people are.

TeAmoReally · 21/06/2015 14:11

WorraLiberty Thanks. In fact I responded to this thread without even going back to my normal NN. But I think you can quite easily guess who I usually am!

WorraLiberty · 21/06/2015 14:13

I genuinely can't guess TeAmoReally.

I'm absolutely shite with names Blush

TeAmoReally · 21/06/2015 14:22

BW WorraLiberty

Christinayanglah · 21/06/2015 14:31

Teamo

Excellent post

xiaozhu · 21/06/2015 14:32

TeAmo - I don't see anyone playing the victim here. That in itself is the sort of comment people make in order shut victims up. But as I said, I don't actually see anyone on this thread dealing the 'victim card'.

I also don't think I was shouting anyone down. I think those posters saying the OP is a 'pretentious twat' are the ones doing the shouting - even though she asked the question, why would anyone think that? She didn't explain why she wants to fast, so why have some people jumped straight to the 'pretentious twat' conclusion? I think comments like this need shutting down and dismissing.

I didn't accuse anyone of racism: more Islamophobia. Some have said it's just plain hostility to religion, but then I don't think there'd be such vitriolic 'debate' if someone had just casually wondered what to give up for Lent.

And you say MN is a very PC arena? That's what I find most worrying.

Anyway, I think Cactus has just closed my case for me.

xiaozhu · 21/06/2015 14:35

And I'm not saying that many of the posters on here have been very tolerant and supportive. And yes, it would help if the poster explained why she wants to fast. But some of the responses have been pretty Shock

mrsfuzzy · 21/06/2015 14:39

while i'm all for people following their beliefs there are hypocrites like a 'muslim' guy my dh worked with, encouraged his family to fast but smoked pot, drank and generally stuck the finger to the 'total bollocks of religion' in general, bit gob smacking really imo.